How to Lose Nothing and Gain Everything
"I am not glad because it ended, I'm just glad I got an opportunity to experience at least a fraction of it."
People become devastated after a break up a divorce, a separation, or other loss. Instead of feeling such a deep, depressive sense of losing something, we may instead chose to feel grateful for the opportunity to experience what we had. Submitting ourselves to a depression of good feelings “lost”, we forget that, "Hey at least it happened, at least we experience wonderful moments." If we did not experience such truly wonderful moments, then we wouldn't be so upset. In addition, if we manifested good feelings once before, we can certainly do it again! One wonderful moment doesn't last forever because there are more wonderful moments to experience.
Why do we let perceived negativity become the cornerstone of our reality?
I truly believe Marilyn Monroe, as risqué as she may have seemed, was onto something when she wrote, “Some things fall apart so that better things can fall together”. So within that time-frame where we lose, we must alternately remind ourselves that just because it doesn't feel so great right now, doesn't conclude it never did. Before that experience of euphoria mixed with the feeling of currently being “broken”, the question we must take a moment to ask and internalize is, “Was I able to lead a normal life prior to this experience?”
How and Why,do we chose to forget all of the good things we experience for the exchange of the wrong that has been done to our lives?
In my own experience of a separation I can look at it and say,"Oh I wish I never married! I wasted 5 years of my life for it to end. I am never going to trust any man again". With that being said, although it may feel that way at the moment, reality is:
"My marriage had wonderful moments- Moments of pure depths I never before experienced with anyone, moments where there was blissful joy, moments where I grew as a person, moments where I overcame challenges, moments where I reflected, moments where I chose to be better and improve myself, moments where I learned to receive and give love, and moments where I learned how to stand for my beliefs and chose to respect myself. I gave birth to a beautiful, fairy-tale daughter, who is in tune with the intuition of the universe and reminds me to manifest daily".
Once we realize all the good our own life experiences can bring , we can move into becoming The Observer, know We Have a Choice, learn What To Do Now, and know that everything created leaves us with Spirit Gained.
All of these wonderful moments could be a little hard to experience if we don not allow ourselves to fall in love when love is being offered to us, in which the feelings can become mutually beautiful. Life is a beautiful experience and we are here to learn how to become what Wayne Dyer (my favorite author) calls “the observer”, as time and experiences pass us by. The observer watches the situation unfold as movie being projected as oppose to becoming involved in the movie. As the observer, we can step back, remain unattached, and then analyze with a more clear understanding the benefits of a situation.
We Have a choice
Instead of choosing to forever deal with the pain of a break up, let us chose to forever live with the joy of the things gained along the way that allowed us to evolve into a higher being of ourselves. We could see the end as a new beginning to make it better next time, or to curse the fact that it ended and not allow ourselves anymore pleasure in fear of pain. But wait!"Isn't that a pain within itself?". Yes, it is! So let us chose to see it as if we have gained more than what we had to begin with and create further opportunities to receive more moments and more memories in which there is more love and even greater opportunities to come.
What To Do Now?
So for these hard moments, we do not grow colder, we grow deeper, re-flourished and ready to welcome more love and be thankful for those many moments in which we had it and now we have more, rather than the moments in which we thought they were gone. It is never really gone unless we allow it to be so. Just because it is a different type of love that we must search within myself, does not mean we are empty. It could simply mean that we have chosen to feel that way if we give into the fear of never being the same without it. So with that said, when paying attention to fear, let us realize that we will not be the same without it."That's right, we will be better!!!". Because "ALL" was an experience, and now we know, and now we breathe the peace of not fearing. For now, we analyze only to improve and then let go to prepare for better things to come by focusing our attention on how we can feel better in this present moment.
Let us not regret anything, because those moments created an opportunity for us to share and relate to more people who experience the same in life. There is only pain if we allow it."Ego suffers and self-punishes but spirit nourishes and understands that, without expectations, this too shall pass." We all love to be Inspired (in spirit), right? So let us choose to allow ourselves to live"In-Spired" and “In-Spirit” by ceasing any expectations. Expect the Unexpected and allow inspiration to be welcomed. Always know that this is never the end, and all is well.
Jenilee Tirado is free-spirit, motivational artist with a love for all and a mission to find beauty in everything. Serving her life purpose as a motivational speaker and writer, photographer and now entering the world of yoga instruction. She has been writing since the second grade and is a strong research advocate for a healthy living lifestyle, specifically helping women and children become more self reliant by sharing her knowledge and time through her writings, art, photography, spoken word, workshops, social media and networking groups and events. Jenilee has worked as a facilitator and motivational speaker teaching relationship enhancement programs using P.R.E.P module for Family Resource Center in Manatee County, FL to elite lawyers, doctors, judges, etc. and also successfully taught parenting skills to migrant families. She inspires many through her Facebook page "BeYou2FullSpirit"