I HAVE LOST NOTHING AND GAINED EVERYTHING! Written by Jenilee Tirado (draft reviewed 6/10/13:kc--suggested amendments in RED)

Note to Jenilee: There is a shift you need to make when writing from your own personal experience in a way that seeks to include any reader who engages with your work. As mentioned in other writing guidelines here at OM Times, it would mean going through your piece and revising the wording to be "we" or "our" (instead of "you" and "they"--as much as possible) without detracting from any meaning or emotion you have written down. For example, I would begin with your second sentence first, "People become devastated after a break-up, divorce, separation, or other loss." Go on from there: "Instead of feeling such a deep, depressive sense of losing something, we may instead be grateful for the opportunity to experience what we had."

If it helps to look upon your words in another way, consider yourself a teacher. The words are imparting a lesson that is common (universally?) understood. We seek to bring the reader support in understanding or achieving a common, recognizable meaning to an experience. I have highlighted (see blue text) parts that could be amended, and have inserted (see red text) through what follows, and ask that you please revise it in a way that comes from your perspective as the writer. :Kathy

The way I see it, is that I am not glad because it ended, I'm just glad I got an opportunity to experience at least a fraction of it. People become devastated after a break up a divorce, a separation, a loss etc. They wonder why that good feeling left. Submitting themselves to a depression of good feelings “lost”, they forget, that, "Hey at least it happened!" -At least you experienced wonderful moments- If you did not experience anything wonderful, you wouldn’t be so upset. It also means that if you manifested good feelings once, you can do it again! One wonderful moment doesn't last forever because there are more wonderful moments to experience. I truly believe Marilyn Monroe, as’ riskay’ [the word is "risque"] as she may have seemed, was onto something when she wrote, “Some things fall apart so that better things can fall together”. So within that time-frame where we lose, we must remind ourselves that just because it doesn't feel so great right now, doesn't mean it never did. Before that experience of euphoria mixed with the feeling of currently being “broken”- Were we this depressed, confused, or even let down? [See? This section here you did just fine with the "we!"]

The rhetorical question you need to ask, is: Where you able to lead a normal life prior to this incident

[Really look to see how you want to ask the question here. IS it rhetorical? Maybe say: The question we need to ask is, "Was I able to lead a normal life prior to this incident?" Take a good look at your wording through this section to see how best to pose these questions to the reader. It can be a delicate balance between asking the questions and giving your explanation or your version of an experience. Try to define each part, and watch your wording, as best you can.]

(I do not mean a perfect life- we all have our issues to overcome) How and Why- do we chose to forget all the good things we experience for the exchange of the wrong that has been done to our lives?! In my own experience of a separation I can look at it and say, "Oh I wish I never married! I wasted 5 years of my life for it to end. I'm never going to trust any man again" -And although it may feel that way at the moment, reality is "My marriage had wonderful moments- Moments of pure depths I never before experienced with anyone, moments were there was blissful joy, moments were I grew as a person, moments where I overcame challenges, moments where I reflected, moments where I chose to be better and improve myself, moments where I learned to receive and give love, and moments where I learned how to stand for my beliefs and chose to respect myself, the list goes on". All of these wonderful moments would have been a little hard to experienced [watch the tense of your verbs], if I hadn’t allowed myself to fall in love when love was being offered to me, in which the feelings became mutually beautiful. Life is a beautiful experience and we are here to be the observer as time passes.

[Watch the "I" use through this next part. There are many possible ways to change it up, so take each line and see how to make it so "we" understand.] So instead of choosing to forever deal with the pain of a break up, I rather forever live with the joy of the things I gained along the way that allowed me to evolve into a higher being of myself. I have a choice- I could see the end as a new beginning to make it better next time, or to curse the fact that it ended and not allow myself anymore pleasure in fear of pain -But wait isn't that a pain within itself?- Yes, it is! So I chose to see it as if I have gained more than what I had to begin with and create further opportunities to receive more moments, more memories, in which there is more love and even greater opportunities to come. So for these hard moments, I do not grow colder, I grow deeper, re-flourished and ready to welcome more love and be thankful for those many moments in which I had it and now have more, not for the moments in which I thought they were gone. It is never really gone unless I allow it to be so. Just because it is a different type of love that I must search within myself, doesn't mean I am empty. It could simply mean that I have chosen to feel that way if I give into the fear of never being the same without it. So with that said, when paying attention to fear- I realize that I won’t be the same without it- That's right!! I WILL BE BETTER!! Because ALL was an experience, and now I know, and now I breathe the peace of not fearing. For now, I analyze only to improve and then let go to prepare for better things to com [text cut off here. You write with a lot of enthusiasm, which is great!.]

I regret nothing, because those moments created an opportunity for me to share and relate to more people who experience the same in life. There is only pain if we allow it. Ego suffers and self-punishes but “Spirit” nourishes and understands that, without expectations, this too shall pass. I love to be “In-Spired”- So I chose and allow myself to live “In-Spirit” by ceasing any expectations. Expect the Unexpected and you too shall be inspired. I always know that this is never the end, and “All is well”!  [Another possible way to write those last couple sentences: "We love to be inspired. Choose to allow yourself to live "in-Spirit" by ceasing any expectations. Expect the unexpected and allow inspiration to come. Always know this is never the end and all is well."--Please let me know when you have revised--post it as another discussion calling it "second draft" {or something} so you can use the editing tools here, as opposed to a comment, and we can review again to see how it is. Great start! ~ Blessings!

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