How to Lose Nothing and Gain Everything
I am not glad because it ended, I'm just glad I got an opportunity to experience at least a fraction of it. People become devastated after a break up a divorce, a separation, or other loss. Instead of feeling such a deep, depressive sense of losing something, we may instead chose to feel grateful for the opportunity to experience what we had. Submitting ourselves to a depression of good feelings “lost”, we forget that, "Hey at least it happened!" -At least we experience wonderful moments- If we did not experience such truly wonderful moments, then we wouldn't be so upset. In addition, if we manifested good feelings once before, we can certainly do it again! One wonderful moment doesn't last forever because there are more wonderful moments to experience.
Why do we let perceived negativity become the cornerstone of our reality? I truly believe Marilyn Monroe, as risqué as she may have seemed, was onto something when she wrote, “Some things fall apart so that better things can fall together”. So within that time-frame where we lose, we must alternately remind ourselves that just because it doesn't feel so great right now, doesn't conclude it never did. Before that experience of euphoria mixed with the feeling of currently being “broken”- The question we must take a moment to ask and internalize is, “Was I able to lead a normal life prior to this experience?”
How and Why..
...do we chose to forget all of the good things we experience for the exchange of the wrong that has been done to our lives?! In my own experience of a separation I can look at it and say:
"Oh I wish I never married! I wasted 5 years of my life for it to end. I'm never going to trust any man again" -
And although it may feel that way at the moment, reality is:
"My marriage had wonderful moments- Moments of pure depths I never before experienced with anyone, moments were there was blissful joy, moments were I grew as a person, moments where I overcame challenges, moments where I reflected, moments where I chose to be better and improve myself, moments where I learned to receive and give love, and moments where I learned how to stand for my beliefs and chose to respect myself. I gave birth to a beautiful, fairy-tale daughter, who is in tune with the intuition of the universe and reminds me to manifest daily".
All of these wonderful moments could be a little hard to experience if we don not allow ourselves to fall in love when love is being offered to us, in which the feelings can become mutually beautiful. Life is a beautiful experience and we are here to learn how to become what Wayne Dyer (my favorite author) calls “the observer”, as time and experiences pass us by. The observer watches the situation unfold as movie being projected as oppose to becoming involved in the movie. As the observer, we can step back, remain unattached, and then analyze with a more clear understanding the benefits of a situation.
-We have a choice-
So instead of choosing to forever deal with the pain of a break up, lets chose to forever live with the joy of the things gained along the way that allowed us to evolve into a higher being of ourselves. We could see the end as a new beginning to make it better next time, or to curse the fact that it ended and not allow ourselves anymore pleasure in fear of pain.-But wait isn't that a pain within itself?-Yes, it is! So let us chose to see it as if we have gained more than what we had to begin with and create further opportunities to receive more moments, more memories, in which there is more love and even greater opportunities to come.
So for these hard moments, we do not grow colder, we grow deeper, re-flourished and ready to welcome more love and be thankful for those many moments in which we had it and now have more, not for the moments in which we thought they were gone. It is never really gone unless we allow it to be so. Just because it is a different type of love that we must search within myself, doesn't mean we are empty. It could simply mean that we have chosen to feel that way if we give into the fear of never being the same without it. So with that said, when paying attention to fear- Let us realize that we won’t be the same without it- That's right!! WE WILL BE BETTER!! Because ALL was an experience, and now we know, and now we breathe, the peace of not fearing. For now, we analyze only to improve and then let go to prepare for better things to come.
I regret nothing, because those moments created an opportunity for me to share and relate to more people who experience the same in life. There is only pain if we allow it. Ego suffers and self-punishes but “Spirit” nourishes and understands that, without expectations, this too shall pass. Don’t we love to be “In-Spired”? So let’s choose to allow ourselves to live “In-Spirit” by ceasing any expectations. Expect the Unexpected and allow inspiration to be welcomed. Always know that this is never the end, and “All is well”!
Written by: Jenilee Tirado
Very nice - and I can appreciate the stylistic things you are putting in here, Jenilee. The biggest part is to watch for consistency through your piece. If you have had a chance to review those "five quick steps to writing a great article," you are around steps three and four at this point. You have written and re-written, and this getting close to where you take a look at the overall structure and flow, being sure to edit your work as best you can. The more editing you do, the better your work will be.
Take a look at how, from paragraphs three on, you have headings. There are none for the first two. Should there be? Either that or can you work the headings you have on the last few (almost like the outline structure) into the wording itself for those paragraphs? Again, you may want a certain look or style and that is fine. If you are doing quotes or headings, they need to look the same throughout.
In fact, your initial sentence/statement that is coming from you in your "I" voice, "could" be a quotation from you that sets off the piece as a subheading. Maybe put it in quote and italics centered underneath your photo? You present your voice in quotes and italics farther down in the piece and it works well. The remainder of the first paragraph sounds okay, in that teacher-like voice mentioned before. Watch your use of bold lettering. When used for headings, that may be okay, but within paragraphs italics are usually preferred when stressing a word or line. Keep that in mind as you re-read your sentences.
This is the time when you want to be really "nit-picky" over the smallest details, such as making sure every one of your sentences ends in a period. If you are using dashes, make sure they are the right kind and are used the same way throughout. Check that words are what they should be--such as in your "How and Why" paragraph: "My marriage had wonderful moments- Moments of pure depths I never before experienced with anyone, moments were there was blissful joy, moments were I grew as a person, moments where I overcame challenges, moments where I reflected,.... [Those two underlined words need to be amended]. Can you see where those little things can be found and fixed easily? That is what I mean by "nit-picky." LOL
Another bit of suggestion for this round is to look at your use of contractions through your article. If you have spell-checked, they may have been flagged and there is usually a reason for that. Contractions are great when you are chatting informally, but an article is a more formalized voice or presentation of words. It is rare to see them used in articles, so you may want to amend those where you see them ("let us" instead of "let's," for example). It may feel awkward and sound a little odd because so many people do not speak that way, but when we read our eyes get used to 'the long way.'
Finally, if you haven't already developed one, start putting together a short bio paragraph about you that can be added to the bottom of your articles. You have seen these by now on articles written in the magazine, but let me know if you need help, OK? This replaces your "Written by" line.
You are doing such great work, Jenilee--keep going! Blessings!