Most Western therapies are missing the point while focusing on developing a stronger ego as our main motivator.
Our ego by default feeds on fear since its primary goal is to ensure our survival in various situations. The inherent nature of fear and its biological function is to prompt us to act in situations when there is a need to fight back, attack, hide or escape. Just as our ancestors did when meeting a wild animal on their path or fighting for food, freedom, their tribe or territory. Fear, as a chain reaction in our brain triggered by a stressful stimulus, causes the release of chemicals leading to increased heart rate, fast breathing, muscle tension, etc. Fear, as low-vibration energy, is meant to motivate us to short-term actions. That’s why ongoing stress burns us out mentally, emotionally and physically.
When our ego grows, our fear grows too, and our subconscious shadows grow with it hand in hand. They too feed on our fear, and they too are meant to ensure our survival. While ego exists in our consciousness, shadows exist in our subconscious. Once we are ruled by our subconscious shadows, we cannot truly thrive in life, we only function in a survival mode. In such a state, we are obsessed with ensuring our survival, which often manifests as the constant need for making more money, achieving more success, awards or anything that gives us the illusion of being safe in life.
Joy of living is a bigger motivator than fear. It is an emotional, intellectual and physical mode that helps us thrive in life. Its high vibration energy affects positively our well-being in every way. Joy of living is a positive motivator and its goal is to make us thrive long-term and exist in the state of happiness. When we are filled with joy of life, our achievements and success are long-lived, we don’t give in to prolonged fear when faced with challenges and obstacles – we simply overcome them.
There is a healthy and successful way of dealing with our Ego
Developing a very strong ego ALWAYS leads to developing stronger shadows. Boosting our ego and therefore inducing our fears as a means to have control over our life, leads to creating shadow-based ways of living. We can observe that phenomenon widely spread nowadays in our world, our environment and – in many cases – our own life. If we don't know how to harness the helpful energy of our ego in a healthy way, we create an unhappy and dangerous "shadowland" for others and ourselves.
Cheerleader, not the lead player, is our ego’s assigned and healthy function:
Let it cheer you when you’re doubting, losing confidence in yourself. Let it tell you then: “You can do it! Go for it! You’ve got it in you”.
Through healthy function when being “employed” as our Cheerleader – reassured of its value and satisfied, our ego would not seek to control. It will become our good friend and an invaluable helper.
How to connect with our innate JOY of life
Notice and admit to yourself that comparing your situation to others is pointless and does not help you in any way. You are a unique person, one in billions, and so is your life story. You can truly enjoy who you are, and where you are.
Observe the events and people appearing on your path. Notice the true human kindness residing beneath their imperfections. Deep down, we all want the same thing: a peaceful, happy and fulfilled life.
Look for the harmony in all events and notice that you are never alone. Start perceiving everything and everyone as a part of one huge community, where — just like drops in the symbolic ocean — all of us are connected. There is a true beauty and power in that oneness which assures us about our own significance.
Forgive others for their imperfections, and forgive yourself. When you hold on to resentment and anger, you are giving up your happiness and settling for bitterness and unhappiness instead. You can’t find inner peace, and you lose your joy.
Be happy for others when you see somebody’s good fortune. Celebrate their good luck, as if they were your best friends and you wished them well. Find your own joy in other people’s happiness. Even if they are strangers to you, be happy for them. Later on, once you learn how to be happy for others, it will be easier for you to learn your own happiness.
Replace your mind desires with your heart-driven ones. Mind desires are ego-driven and their only purpose is to fill the emptiness, escape the feeling of discomfort or anxiety. Escaping and avoiding are rooted in fear and cannot bring us joy.
Reconnect with the clarity of your heart when you feel overwhelmed and lost. Your heart will tell you what’s best for you.
We are here to find our joy in living. We are here to thrive.
About the author: Johanna Kern is a transformational teacher, filmmaker and multiple award-winning author of “365 (+1) Affirmations to Create A Great Life”, “Secrets of Love for Everyone”, “Master and the Green-Eyed Hope”, etc. She practices and shares the Master Teachings of HOPE, helping people to find their own power and progress in all areas of life. Her story received international attention, winning praise by readers in North America and Europe, and endorsement by three world-renowned experts: Stanley Krippner, Ph.D., Jerry Solfvin, Ph.D., and Brian Van der Horst.