Soulmates Redefined

A broken soulmate relationship can spiral a soul into crisis. It starts with the “Forever Fallacy.” Understanding life is impermanent frees us from attachments that relationships, even good ones are not meant to last forever. A soul journey is a sole journey and it’s best not to hold onto too many expectations to those we consider soulmates. The ties of human connection mean we are all soulmates, everything we do touches another.

A woman on social media wrote about her husband, the man she thought was her soulmate, the relationship she believed would last forever has left her after twenty-five years of marriage. Now her soul is in crisis.

She is not alone. How many hearts have been broken to this notion of soulmate love? The problem isn’t her soulmate or whom she thought was her soulmate, it is attachment to the idea of soulmates and that she was somehow tethered physically to one person forever.

Our society at times seems obsessed with soulmates. Many boast of finding their soulmate, others pine to find theirs and some even sell tools to attract them. Regardless, this endless qualification and quantification of soulmates is, well, damaging to our souls. Souls simply can’t, and shouldn’t be defined, but let’s, however, delve deeper into the subject to find out why.

The Fallacy of Forever

Many gain comfort in the word forever, but it is a false comfort. Life is impermanent and the only guarantee we have in life is change. We are forever changing, and thus, so are our relationships and even our soul relationships. A lover this lifetime, can be an enemy next. For this aspect alone, we can’t cling to “forever.” The gratitude for the present is all we have.

This attachment to forever comes down to our fears. We look to finding our soulmate, our “forever one” so we won’t have to take this life journey alone. There is comfort in pairs and security in a partner, not to mention it is something our society recommends we all should have. Our culture even suggests there is something wrong with us if we haven’t found our significant soulmate, which leads to feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. We can see this spiral that keeps spinning into disappointments.

Life is scary. It is chaotic. It is challenging and the idea of facing it by ourselves leads to all sorts of anxiety. It’s not to say that we must live alone and not have life partners and life lovers, but this path we walk is our own soul journey, regardless if we have someone by our side.

Our Soul Journey is a Sole Journey

According to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, our souls choose our parents and a life for which we can achieve wisdom and a freedom from past karma. It is for our individual souls to learn these lessons, and then eventually we die and the process begins again with different lessons.

We are beings of light constantly evolving. Distracted by modern labels stunts our progress. While we can have our soulmates, soul brothers and sisters, know they have their own journey separate from ours. They are here to help us as we are to help them. Part of this experience is to accept everyone’s journey, especially when it veers away from ours.

Soulmate Expectations

Soulmate relationships are not romantic in nature, despite what our culture tries to sell us – romance movies and novels, cards and even jewelry. Sure, it feels great in poetry and arts. It makes our hearts flutter to believe we found the “one.” We buy into it because it builds our self-worth and that we are worthy of this extraordinary love.

These grand expectations can lead to grave disappointments and frustrations when our soulmates don’t measure up. Many believe we have done something wrong and that we have failed. It means we are not enough, which leads to crisis of the heart and soul. When we manage our expectations, it helps in our soul progress.

Connections and Contracts

Karmic connections and contracts are what attract us to one another, or a situation. We are pulled in such a way because it has to do with our mission this lifetime – which could be to love, to create or maybe just to heal.

For the woman whose heart was broken after her spouse left her after twenty-five years of marriage, she can still consider her ex-husband a soulmate, it is just perhaps their soul contract came to an end.

There is no fault to be had. They have achieved together what they were meant to achieve – raised two beautiful children perhaps, or maybe something else entirely, and it is time for her soul’s next lesson.

There is nothing to fret from lessons learned and time to move on. In fact, it should be a liberating experience for all. It is the modern cultural attachments to which we cling, not a soul relationship.

We are all Soul Mates

We are all connected. We all have souls, albeit some have lost touch with theirs, and since we are all connected, we are all soulmates. Every one of us.

What I write here today and the reader reads, we have made a soul connection. We become soulmates. If one takes my words and applies them in their own means of expression, they connect with another. This is the chain of soul connection. We have no expectation of one another, we merely pass it on to other souls.

We don’t need romantic interludes or passionate intimacy to claim one another as soulmates. We don’t even need to know one another personally and physically. We connect through words on a page, the stroke of a paintbrush and the music we make. We connect when we hold space for one another in the checkout lines and allowing another to merge into traffic. These connections may not have a deep contract, but they reflect upon our karmic journey on how we relate to those not just in our personal circles, but those outside it.

It’s not that we have to surrender the poetry and romance of soulmates, just understand its place and the fluidity of soulmate relationships. We don’t have to feel the dagger of the unloved when a soulmate leaves. We can wish them luck with their new path, as we look onward to our new horizon.

Jennifer Ott is the author of many novels – fiction and non-fiction. Her latest WIP, "Arise My Tribe" is the story of a past life ancient Celtic healer who weaves her tale through that of a modern woman going through a crisis of the heart. Jennifer’s first entry into the spiritual world was the study of Nada Yoga. Since then she has studied a multitude of meditation styles, spiritual philosophies and multi-cultural shamanic ceremonies. This holistic practice of spirituality aided greatly into the journey of soul discovery to realize the burden of past life karma.

Instagram: @SuperJenius24

Facebook Page: @AriseMyTribe

Facebook Page: @AuthorJenniferOtt

  • Omtimes Media

     Hey Jenny, Thank you for your submission.

    I am picking up a lot of your writings lately. I would include you among our spotlight writers. Please review your Bio, and determine what picture you would like and let me know. I will include you on the main website.

     This will be published in April B edition.

  • Omtimes Media

    Please don't forget to include your website and one social media links to help people to find you.

  • Jennifer Ott


    Thanks for your comments!  I have tweaked my bio as well added links to my website and social media sites.  For my bio pictures, you can use on the one of my community page (the one used for this comment). If you need a better picture/.jpeg, let me know.