You may have a great fear that drives you to do things, be it fear of being alone, not being useful, being helpless, being dependent or being vulnerable. What we fear the most, if not faced and made peace with, will get us when we are tired, weak, or off guard.
It is important to deal with our fears consciously and systematically. Avoiding our fears or resisting what they may be teaching us will only create more suffering and trauma in our life. What is your greatest…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on April 27, 2014 at 8:20pm — No Comments
There are times that we do not know that we were tense until we are relaxed. Why is that? Our body gets used to our current state no matter how stressful a situation may be.
If we have a lot of negative self-talk, even though we may know that it is not good for us, we may get used to that as well. Of course this can have side effects such as depression, mood swings and no desire to do anything.
You can wait until the symptoms show up in your body before taking action, or a…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on April 13, 2014 at 7:16pm — No Comments
Our life is full of trauma! Imagine an unborn child who takes the journey from the safety of its mother’s womb to come into an unfamiliar world. Can you imagine how different those two worlds are?
Most traumas happen at an early age, in the womb or sometimes later. Imagine a small baby in the womb hearing her parents fighting or her mother being abused by another person. What emotions will come to surface and how can she not be overwhelmed? What would be the protection and coping…Continue
There are times in our life that we feel everything is out of control. It may seem that the script of our life we or someone wrote for us many years ago is changing without notice!
Our previous supporters and cheer leaders have left, or worse, passed away. We may be getting older and perhaps do not know what we want to do with rest of our life.
If you are in such a situation, it is a great opportunity to co-author your new life script! Since your last life script, perhaps…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on March 16, 2014 at 8:53pm — No Comments
Have you heard people say “Do not judge”? What does it really mean? How can we not judge? Does “not judging” mean we do not think or have opinions? I hope not! We are supposed to use our brain.
We judge and distinguish all the time. We judge if it is safe to cross the street. We judge if a certain food is good for us or not. These types of judgments are positive forms of judgment.
If we judge something or someone and based on that we feel better or secure as the result that…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on February 23, 2014 at 10:16pm — No Comments
Our eyes are windows to our soul. Many people feel uncomfortable having eye contact due to cultural or personal preferences. It also may reflect something deeper.
If you are in a relationship and have not had a chance to gaze deeply into your partner’s eyes recently, this could be an indication of a lack of desire to connect deeply with that person. Is there something unconscious occurring that you are avoiding? Are you interested to find the root cause?
Added by Shervin Hojat on February 9, 2014 at 6:46pm — No Comments
A serious question: do you have faith? Is it an idea you like or do you take action based on your faith every day?
This is a spiritual question, not a religious one. You can have faith in yourself. You can have faith in your dreams, parents, family, friends, country or the Divine.
What is faith?
Does a miner deep in the coal mine have faith?
Does a dying patient have faith?…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on January 12, 2014 at 9:20pm — No Comments
Marriage vows between two people are celebrated around the world. Vows are expected to be kept. Have you heard of any ceremony where people make vows to themselves?
We make promises to others through vows. How often do we make promises to ourselves? Do you have a personal vow that you recite once in a while? If not, why not?
Do I promise?
Do I promise to love myself unconditionally?
Do I promise to lift myself up…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on December 29, 2013 at 7:48pm — No Comments
Do we go overboard by being too positive or negative? Do you answer every question “great” without checking how you really feel?
You may read the energy of people without them speaking a word on how they feel. They may say they are doing great without getting in touch with their feelings first. There are people who dwell so much in their feelings that it paralyzes their system. We need to identify, feel and accept our emotions. Practice acknowledging what you feel. At first it may…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on December 9, 2013 at 12:35pm — No Comments
Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers”. What are the barriers to love? What are the barriers stopping us to experience love? What are the barriers to having meaningful relationships with ourselves, children, friends and spouse?
We each have erected different barriers that can prevent us from experiencing love. Most likely these barriers were erected at an early age to protect us against future hurt and harm. We typically have a…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on November 24, 2013 at 7:20pm — No Comments
Have you ever felt something is missing in you? Have you looked for something to fill the missing part? Can you fill in the missing part of yourself?
We sometimes are fractured due to traumas and experiences that occur mostly in childhood. As a defensive measure we let go of the pieces of us that need to be protected. These pieces needed to speak the truth, were ashamed of being wrong, felt lonely or ignored and therefore could not be acknowledged as a child.
We always look for…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on November 10, 2013 at 6:26pm — No Comments
Sometimes the urge for connection and closeness is so intense and deeply rooted that we may unconsciously do anything to feel connected. We may socialize with friends who are not in our best interest. We may allow people to literally “suck” our energy so that we feel liked and loved.
Most of the time, we may not be aware of this subconscious urge to feel connected and the reason for it (avoiding the void within). By avoiding the void within we may do things to feel wanted. We may…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on October 27, 2013 at 7:52pm — No Comments
What is the greatest form of honesty? It is being honest and true about what and how we feel.
The first slippery path of dishonesty is lying to ourselves and ignoring what we feel. By lying to ourselves, it becomes easy to lie to others! By being honest to our feelings we can have more joy, laughter and physical comfort.
Are you honest? Do you acknowledge what you feel? Do you express and verbalize what is happening within you?
Added by Shervin Hojat on October 13, 2013 at 6:52pm — No Comments
Have you thought about your childhood? Have you inquired about your friend’s or spouse’s childhoods?
The lessons learned in our childhood are what we replay and do as an adult. If we are not aware of those patterns and their early impact as a child, we will continue to replay our childhood patterns as an adult unconsciously.
Looking back at her childhood
she thought, “What was it like to be a child”?…
Added by Shervin Hojat on September 29, 2013 at 9:18pm — No Comments
One summer I took an Alaskan cruise with my wife. During the trip I met many people whose traits I admired (including the wait staff with their varied international backgrounds). I also noticed several people whom I did not want to be close to or sensed something was off about them.
We all have heard that what we see or feel about people (especially if there is a strong charge) is a reflection of ourselves. I am reporting to you what I experienced is not something out there about…Continue
We create our reality based on our long held beliefs until one day we realize that what we have believed in was not true, and due to our misguided beliefs we may have created agony and tension in our life (and others).
How many people do you know who have tried to fit the world into the prism of their beliefs? How many people do you know, who after a life time, if fortunate, admit their beliefs did not serve them or their family? This admittance should not be taken lightly. For some,…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on September 1, 2013 at 5:59pm — No Comments
Nature is the greatest teacher. My fig tree is a great reminder for me every summer.
In the summer, I enjoy eating fresh figs. Over the years, I have learned that if I move to another spot under the tree and look up I can find another handful of figs even after I thought I had picked them all. If I am rigid and stubborn, I can say there is no more fruit. I am correct if I do not change my perspective! If I just move an inch or two and change my view, I can see many more!
Do you have any desire to know yourself? Why not?
What makes us not to want to know ourselves? Perhaps the investigation will uncover old memories and emotions that we would rather keep hidden. Possibly it will challenge the image we hold about ourselves. Maybe we believe that we are not worth knowing or that we are hopelessly defective!
Why don’t I want to know myself?
Why I am more eager to…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on August 4, 2013 at 9:01pm — No Comments
Do you make yourself wait to be happy, relaxed or joyful? Why?
Maybe we feel that we need to earn happiness and have a purpose for it. Maybe we feel guilty of being happy while many are seemingly unhappy. Maybe we know joy and happiness are temporary and we do not want to be disappointed when they are gone. Maybe we have unresolved emotions that need to be acknowledged and processed.
I will be happy
when I find a…
We all take different paths to fill the void within us. Each of us may take a different path based on our perspectives. The irony is that in the search for filling the void we may hate or disrespect a part of ourselves, and ignore our well being thinking if we deny our feelings, look outside for fulfillment or “fix” ourselves then we will feel whole, lovable and complete. The truth of the matter is that what we need and desire it is already available to us, we just need to open our “eyes”…Continue
Added by Shervin Hojat on July 7, 2013 at 8:21pm — No Comments