Linda: Most of us have been brought up to think in either/or terms. We may not even realize how much it is costing us to continue these old patterns that dominate our thinking. Either/or thinking separates us from our partner. And seeing ourselves as disconnected…

Linda: I first heard this story from Sonia Choquete. It is a true story about a woman in her seventies who came to have a psychic consultation with Sonia in Chicago. The woman’s husband had recently died, and she was looking at her life ahead. During the…

Despite our best efforts, and our clear intention to hold our temper, listen with patience, offer more acknowledgment, give up control, remember to say “I love you”, or keep any of the resolutions that we have made, sometimes we just don’t do it. Like most people, we’ve failed to do…

“People gifted with wonder tend to be easy to spot. They have a joy that seems to require no data and is not diminished by seeming evidence to the contrary. They look up when that decision seems counterintuitive. They are solution seekers, bright side-finders, dream-stokers, and defiant dancers. The world never has…

Relationships are sometimes difficult. We don’t get what we want, and we get a lot of what we don’t want. We can start to slip into a mindset, of “Relationships shouldn’t have to be this hard, or “I’ve gotten involved with the wrong person.” These kinds of thoughts may or may not be…

“Mindfulness is not something that is only done in the meditation hall, it is also done in the kitchen, in the garden when we’re on the telephone, when we are driving a car, when we are doing the dishes.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Mindfulness is not so much a form of meditation with eyes closed and legs crossed on a zafu…

If you’ve ever been in the middle of a painful breakdown with your partner and felt overwhelmed with rage, fear, pain, despair, or some combination of the above, you’re not alone. Even couples that share good relationships can occasionally experience feelings like this. At…

All marriages, even the great ones, have irreconcilable differences. While some differences are deal-breakers, many are natural and even necessary in order for relationships to thrive. An unfortunate all-too-popular myth held by many people is that…

Linda: Lilly knew that there was something missing in her partnership with her husband. But it was hard for her to define what it was that kept her from feeling connected to him and fully loved. When she talked with her closest women…

Marina:  I know that Alex loves me, and even when he is away from home traveling for business a lot, I do know that he loves me. But knowing that he loves me and experiencing his love are very different. We have worked out a method that has really been good for us over the busy years of raising kids and raising our business. We choose a block of time,…

The more we withdraw from challenges, the more fearful we become.

The problem with avoidance is that the underlying issues don’t get resolved. Fear doesn’t…

Jerilyn: I got a wake-up call that shattered the foundation of my life. My husband Ted announced that he was leaving our marriage. He told me that he had made up his mind and there was no point in talking about anything. The movers, he said, would be here in the morning to pick up his things. I was stunned,…

Linda: According to Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster, passionate love is defined as “a wildly emotional state in which tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy co-exist in a confusion…

One of the most frequent complaints we hear from our clients and students (and admittedly, it tends to be women who are voicing it) is that one partner is resistant to talking. Their complaints are “I can’t get him to open up. No matter what I do, I get nothing more than a one-word response. Sometimes I don’t…

One of the most frequent complaints we hear from our clients and students (and admittedly, it tends to be women who are voicing it) is that one partner is resistant to talking. Their complaints are “I can’t get him to open up. No matter what I do, I get nothing more than a one-word response. Sometimes I don’t…

Charlie: Several years ago, I attended a lecture by a well-known spiritual teacher and arrived twenty minutes late. On my way in I asked the doorman to give me a condensed version of what I’d missed. He paused for a moment then said two words:…

Complaints have gotten a bad rap in recent years. 

Many people equate complaining with whining, self-pity, and being “vicitimy”. While there can be elements of these qualities when irresponsible complaints are made, there is such a thing as responsible…

A key factor in the process of taking charge of your life has to do with having at least one person in your life with whom you share a desire to move through life at a rhythm set by you rather than one that is set by others. Taking control of the rate of movement of one’s life in the face of job, family, social, and…

What is it that extraordinarily happy couples are doing? 

Linda: One of the important things they are doing is checking in, which is…