For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Charlie: Why is it that loving…

Linda: There is a strong consensus in the field of positive psychology that the number and depth of personal relationships has the greatest effect on happiness. The relationship where vast numbers of people derive that greatest…

Linda: Gratitude is acknowledging what we have. When cultivating the attitude of gratitude, we focus our attention on what we have rather than what we lack. When we are not comparing ourselves and our possessions to others, there…

A study conducted by two Emory University economics professors provides more evidence, documented by formal research, that money can’t buy happiness, or to be more precise, that spending a lot of money on a lavish wedding doesn’t make a couple's future prospects for happiness any more likely than spending less. In fact, according to the findings of…

Charlie: “Take it easy. Chill out. Relax. Cool down. Don’t stress out. Lighten up. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not a big deal.” These are things that I used to say back in the day when I didn’t want to hear Linda’s complaints when I failed to keep my word regarding something that I had told her that I was going…

Linda: Some couples get caught in a highly conflictual style of communication where fighting is commonplace. Because trust is so low at that time, each of the pair is caught up in fears of being dominated by the other. Being on alert to prevent domination from occurring causes them to be guarded, battle-ready and aggressive. They…

Yes, it can be a real problem to be bored with one’s spouse. It’s a frequently voiced complaint that therapists hear from their clients. Fortunately, this condition can usually be fixed. Unfortunately, the source of the problem is generally in the last place that you want to look at. That would be at yourself. The very things that initially attracted…

“Love comes quietly; finally, drops around me, on me, in the old way. What did I know, thinking myself able to go alone all the way.” ~ Robert Creeley

Linda: In the early years of my relationship with Charlie, I was plagued with a constant nagging voice inside my mind that…

There are certain kinds of experiences that nurture our souls and others that don’t. We also know that “experiences” are not “things,” and that although things, like money, homes, and motor vehicles do matter in our lives, they do not nourish our hearts and spirits. There’s nothing wrong with something that enhances only the material, as long as we don’t expect more from it than that. For most of us, separating unrealistic expectations from real ones is not easy. …

When our kids were small, we frequently took advantage of a time-honored means of averting explosive interactions between us and one of our kids. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this mechanism that has come to be a tried and true instrument in most parents’ tool bag, it’s called a Time-out. A time-out is an interruption in an interaction…

The number one issue that most couples fight about is money. It’s not money that is activating these intense emotional reactions. It’s all of the things that money symbolizes power, security, worth, trust, love, and even our very survival. The possible, or actual loss of money can activate some of our deepest fears that prompt us to act defensively as…

1. Pay Attention! More marriages die of neglect than of irreconcilable differences. Relationships require on-going maintenance in order to thrive. If your relationship isn’t thriving, it’s dying; there’s no middle ground. Many people go months without saying “I love you,” going on a romantic getaway or simply…

A need is an essential component to promote well-being in our lives. Although these needs are not essential to your survival, they are essential to experience happiness. We can’t have a high level of well-being unless all these needs are being fulfilled. Take a few minutes to assess which of these are being met and which require…

Book Review: That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places

By Marcia Naomi Berger, author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love

I know the authors, so I’m writing from firsthand experience about their most recent book. They are master teachers, gifted writers, and two of loveliest and the most authentic people you will ever meet.  And believe me, in their astonishing new book…

Joan and Frank were married for 30 years. He was a career diplomat, and Joan faithfully followed him to his many posts around the world, being a supportive wife and mother of their three children. She made deep friendships and started projects wherever they lived. When they returned to the United States, their children grown, Joan decided that it was her turn to follow her heart's desire, and chose to get a graduate degree at the local university where she was…

Relationships don’t start with a high level of trust. Trust must be built day-by-day, when two people demonstrate trustworthiness through their words and actions. Trust is developed conversation by conversation, by working through conflicts and demonstrating kindness, generosity, and consideration. In a moment of unconsciousness, anger, or fear, we can do great damage to the trust that we have worked so diligently to create. Yet breakdowns inevitably occur. We…

Couples that thrive are skilled in the art of attentive listening (also known as committed listening). They allow themselves to be penetrated by each other’s words and feelings. They don’t simply receive information, but allow themselves to be informed by it, and may even change their behavior accordingly.

Creating connection and…

“Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed.”~Corita Kent

If you buy a raffle ticket, it may say “You must be present to win” meaning that if you’re not here, you don’t get the prize. It’s kind of like life. You’ve got to show up in order to get…

 “Happiness is when what you think, that you say, and what you do are in harmony.” MahatmaGandhi

If we find ourselves thinking about the "I" word, maybe it's because we’ve been noticing the places in the lives of others and in our own life where it's been out. The 'it' that's out is "integrity." When we…

Rosie and Wes married when they were both very young. Rosie had been a “Daddy’s girl,” always doted on and indulged by a father who treated her as if she could do no wrong. Wes adored her and did everything he could to try to make her happy. Unfortunately, Rosie was never quite satisfied with Wes’s offerings. She was often cold, aloof, and unresponsive to his many overtures of affection. One Christmas, Wes spent a lot of time deliberating over what to buy Rosie…