Introduction: This purpose of this article is to show couples how to deal with uncertainties and insecurities in their romantic relationship.
Methods: This piece considers research studies that talk about how insecurities can trigger problems in an otherwise healthy relationship. Further cited research shows couples how to build trust and the important role that oxytocin plays in increasing trust between partners. Communication, comparisons to past relationships, and changing one's perspective are also touched on in this article.
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Relationship uncertainty is an unpleasant feeling to have when trying to pursue something serious with a partner.
If an individual is feeling uncertain or insecure about their partner, it could mean they don't fully trust their spouse. It may also be a sign that they are feeling anxious about where the relationship is going. Or it could mean nothing at all.
Insecurity can spring from past relationships or from seemingly nowhere at all. Even if a person believes they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with, insecurities can trigger doubt and create problems in a once healthy relationship.
Entering a new relationship should be an exciting, happy time in a person's life. But for those who have had bad romantic experiences in the past, starting over can be a stressful experience.
How Uncertainty Ruins Healthy Relationships
When an individual is experiencing uncertainty or insecurity in their relationship it can quickly create disharmony between partners.
To begin with, not knowing where the relationship is going creates a lack of accountability between spouses. Can they trust that their partner is being faithful? If one were to lose their job, could they rely on their spouse to help carry the load?
Without knowing how each partner feels about the other it will be impossible to move forward with a serious relationship.
Having toxic thoughts about oneself and their relationship may also lower self-esteem. One partner may begin to blame themselves for any problems or doubts they’re having regarding their relationship. This can create a downward spiral of depression.
Here are 7 ways to uncertainty and insecurity from ruining a good thing.
Communication is the key to feeling comfortable in a relationship.
If something from one’s past is bothering them or bringing up old insecurities, this person should speak openly with their spouse about it. They won’t be able to move forward with a healthy, happy partnership unless they share what is truly bothering them.
Partner's who are feeling uncertain about the future of their once healthy relationship should sit down and have an in-depth talk about where things are going. This conversation need not be scary or nerve-wracking.
Couples should ask each other how they feel about the relationship. Do they have long-term goals of marriage or starting a family? How serious are they about being monogamous? Are they comfortable if either person in the relationship is still in communication with a past love? These are important questions to ask.
One can either sit around worrying about the relationship or they can do something about how they're feeling. By talking it out, couples will be able to comfort one another and get a clear understanding of where the relationship is going.
The best relationship advice for doing away with insecurity in relationships is to stop comparing.
A comparison is the thief of joy. A jealous or insecure partner can drive themselves crazy thinking about their current partner’s past relationships. Such thoughts can cause stress and anxiety to build and can lower self-esteem.
If one compares their current partner to their ex or compares themselves to their spouse’s last relationship, they'll soon become miserable. Partners should enjoy each other for who they are, not who they wish they would be.
Trust is essential for a healthy relationship. Partners who trust one another experience less stress and anxiety in their lives because they don't have to worry about how they feel for one another.
Couples can work on building trust is by enhancing their physical intimacy. Studies show that oxytocin increases trust between partners. This bonding agent is released during skin to skin contact with a loved one and is highly beneficial for a marriage.
If one spouse is feeling uncertain about their relationship, doubt and fear can make it difficult to ask the important questions that could resolve the issue. In order to build a healthy relationship, partners must each do some personal reflection and find out what is truly bothering them.
Here are just some of the reasons why individuals grow uncertain about their romantic relationships:
If some is focusing so intensely on their relationship that they’re making themselves feel insecure or anxious, a shift in focus becomes necessary. The best relationship advice for embracing independence is to maintaining hobbies and friendships away from one’s spouse. Doing so will help foster a healthy independence.
When individuals take time to focus on their own hobbies and interests away from their spouse, it transforms them into a more well-rounded person. This independence is an attractive quality that will be good for both their relationship and mental health.
Who doesn't enjoy hearing how special, attractive, and worthy they are? Reassurance is lovely to hear but relying on constant reassurance from a spouse in order to feel comfortable in that relationship can be exhausting for both parties.
Changing one’s attitude can go a long way toward developing a healthy relationship. Whenever When moments of insecurities arise, many find it helpful to make a list of their positive qualities. This paper will serve as a reminder that they are worthy of love and admiration from a partner.
The best relationship advice to avoid uncertainty and insecurity in a relationship is for couples to learn to enjoy each other. They should also strive to keep honest lines of communication open. Doing so will keep both partners on the same page about the relationship.
This article seeks to answer the question: how can one take control of insecurities that can ruin a relationship and resume a happy, healthy partnership with their spouse?
Author bio: Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.