3 Steps to Change Reactive Angry Habits


Some folk consider anger to be a problem and a very unspiritual thing to do. Many suffer from the habit of reacting with anger, which differs from being consciously angry. It is possible, with the observance of just a few simple steps, to create new habits that enhance transformation.


"Celebrate potential,

rather than make a habit

out of limiting thoughts."

- Tony Samara

It is very common to observe people who have a habit of reacting with anger when someone says something that questions or provokes their sense of self-esteem. The words, emotions, or subtle things, like body communication, that people do to make others feel uncomfortable, often creates angry reactions.

Some would suggest that it’s good to verbally or emotionally express this anger, in order to understand it or to 'let go of a process,' yet this is the opposite of what we should really do.

What Not to Do When We Are Angry.

Indulging in a negative expression of anger by kicking the sofa or throwing a pillow is actually very damaging, in a spiritual sense. What we are doing in these moments, especially if we are doing it from a non-conscious space, is maintaining the habit in a stronger way.  We then create a space where we realign the body to act as if anger is a normal thing.

This means that every time we are angry, the whole physiology of the nervous system, not knowing how to discern between future and past, simply adapts to the situation, makes friends with the space that is angry and incorporates that as a reality.

It is not to judge anger as being good or bad, however, allowing the anger to continue, as a habit, is not the way to change it.

Three Steps to Change a Habit.

1. Find a more conscious space inside.

This is very easy because all we have to do is take a deep breath and when we take a deep breath, it provides an opportunity to look inside of ourselves and discover what is really going on in this moment.

2.  Take the time to communicate with ourselves.

Allow the possibility to find the original communication that is behind the anger. Why are we angry? Is it the emotions that may be angry, or is the body holding the space where the anger is?

3. We are not actually angry!

A helpful insight to understand is that we cannot actually be angry because we are divine. Consequently, the divine aspect in us is not angry, and rather wants to find a way to express itself in a healthier way.

What Happens if We Remain Caught in the Anger?

By indulging in the anger we maintain a limited human perspective of the situation rather than honoring the divine aspect within ourselves.

Anger requires that we change the chemistry of the body. When we are able to realize in the very moment that there is anger, that we have a choice, and we take a deep breath, we allow ourselves to see that the anger does not come from this moment.


We then may be able to realize that what 'makes' us angry, is a habit that has been passed down from our childhood when perhaps our parents were angry and they maintained an angry atmosphere around us when we were children.


Most children simply adapt and accept the situations, because they find it very difficult to change habits, especially if it is their parents who are projecting an aspect of their incompleteness into the space of family life. This then, is what creates the habit.


Discipline and Clarity Are Needed.


To allow a habit to change, we have to do the opposite of what feels comfortable and such requires discipline. Not many people like discipline, but how wonderful to create an inner discipline, that comes from the space of deeply knowing, without a doubt, what we have to do!

This form of discipline creates a space of clarity where nothing else gets in the way and we actually create action. Activity is what meditation is about. Meditation is not about sitting down and waiting for something to happen. It is about making it happen!

In Conclusion

Remember, as any anger starts to rise, take a deep breath, and embrace a sense of clarity and discipline.

Discipline comes from clarity, and from knowing that when we do this we achieve the space of joy and find within ourselves the space where we are free.

When we have this sort of clarity, there is a reason to maintain the discipline, and rather than sitting in front of a television, hoping to relax and forget about things (because it has been a hard day, for example), with clarity there is a sense of consciousness that pushes us to keep working deeply.

This is especially important when we are in the midst of deep spiritual transformation, as discipline allows us to easily create new habits that are beneficial for our meditation practice.

Meditation is the key to transformation that allows us to embrace what is real within us and this is what spiritual work is all about.


About the Author

Tony Samara is a world-renowned spiritual teacher and author of 16 books. He has been sharing deep spiritual work and energy transmission for the evolution of consciousness for over 25 years. Join Tony Samara for live-stream videos on the OMTimes Magazine Facebook page, and enroll in his OMTimes Experts courses on the Learn it Live platform. Discover more at:  http://www.TonySamara.com


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