3 Ways to Deal with a Dysfunctional Family
by Vicki Snyder
What is dysfunction? Per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, dysfunction is “the condition of having poor and unhealthy behaviors and attitudes within a group of people." For this article, family is the group of focus, and it can be a difficult topic to discuss. Many of us may have been raised to believe that we have to put up with toxic family members. Well, we don’t, and we do have the right to say NO. Let go of the guilt and put yourself in a safe happy positive place. This article provides ways to do this without hashing out the actual experiences of what is and isn’t dysfunctional. We, as a group, can choose to take a positive approach.
Here are some tools to utilize and thoughts to consider along with three ways to claim your personal power when dealing with a toxic and/or dysfunctional family member:
Stand Up and Say NO with Assertiveness
Have you been surrounded by negative and toxic family members? From my own personal experience, I have and called on the assertive side of myself when I could no longer handle the toxicity. This is often a side that is not tapped into, but is inside of each of us waiting to be set free.
Everyone has an assertive side that is waiting to be unleashed. Doing so may not be easy; the family members involved may not like it, and they may try to pull you back into the negativity and the dysfunction. This is a pattern that dysfunctional people resort to, the old way of interactions.
Even if the old patterns do not work, they resort to using other ploys to suck you in. They will use others to plead their case and sympathize with them. Have you experienced any of this? If so, know you are not alone, and there are others who can support you as you stand up and say no! Be assertive. It's ok to say No! Just be sure you are coming from a place of love and not aggression.
Shield Yourself from Negativity and Guilt
Personally speaking, I have thrown myself into my spirituality and all the things I have learned during the past five years that make me strong, give me hope and raise my vibration. As spiritual beings, we need to fight to not fall back on old patterns of dysfunction in order to be strong. It is often times easier said than done.
At times, it can be easy to allow your buttons to be pushed, and your old self emerges. It can become a tug of war, a push and pull, to remain the person you currently are even when those closest to you don’t recognize that person. Do you have family that does this to you? If so and you faltered, know it is okay because you are human. Just try to learn from the falter and think of how to handle things different next time. What have you done to remain in your power and not give in to the dysfunctional ploys?
You can call on the spiritual beings and angels who are with you to help you stand strong and shield you from the harsh family energies that can quickly lower your vibration. You can also use crystals to help shield and to cleanse the negativity. Who do you call on for protection? How do you release the negativity? If you don't currently have tools for shielding and protection, take some time to meditate on this and then sample different ways that will work best for you. There are many out there. For some people, it may be angels, such as Archangel Michael. For others, it may be working with crystals or stating positive affirmations. Know that there is no right or wrong. Use whatever works for you.
Empower and Feed your Soul
Some final words of advice for you are to find things that empower and support you as you walk your spiritual path. Surround yourself with those people, places and things that raise your vibration, so you can be the best you can be. The time is now! You are being called upon to be a light worker, so keep your body, mind and spirit balanced and healthy, and remember, it's okay to say NO.
About the Author
Vicki Snyder is a Certified Psychic Medium, Spiritual Consultant, Angel Intuitive, Certified Assertiveness Coach, Teacher, Radio Show Host and Published Author. Call on her to answer your life’s questions by phone, Skype, email or in person in New York. You can catch her at many local psychic and wellness fairs. You can find her at www.vickisnyder.com