Abstract....Saying goodbye to someone we love is never easy. To wave the final farewell to the nearest and dearest, is life’s most difficult thing to do. Yet, it is life that pushes us sometimes, to do the most undoable thing. How to get through a hardest hit and still come out alive—the pathway varies from person to person. Yet, someday we need to return to the places we ran away from, to the life we need to live with what is left...the question is how...
Millions of people throughout the world harm themselves a lot while trying to escape this suffering. Yet, the truth is—as we open ourselves to the pain, we open ourselves to joy again. There will come a time, when the words of comfort from family and friends, will heal only so much, and the rest of the journey is ours and ours alone. But the saddest truth is grief never works in a linear way. It never follows a straight line. So, how do we get through something that gave us the hardest blow?
Many go through silent suffering that the world knows nothing about, some are ashamed to admit what a profound emptiness they are going through. Waking up can be waking to a staring void. Going to bed is returning to a place that is spread with the last blankets, holding the last moments of yesterday’s life. But we have to return to normalcy, someday, someway, somehow. We cannot say no. We don’t even have an option left. So, why don’t we wipe the rain of pain, and choose the path of creativity as an escape route from the agony that cuts us inside?
Hard as it may be, sad as it may sound, loss is just a part of living. We do ourselves no justice or service while we deny the devastating loss that erupts unexpectedly though our lives. We are faced with living through losing—a life beyond loss and how to get there in a healthy, wholesome manner. Not by seeking refuge in drugs, alcoholism, eating disorder, compulsive shopping, getting into relationships. To heal from one, we get into another, hoping and wishing that a relationship journey might bring the light of healing. It doesn’t, rather it pulls us back into the seething darkness. Let’s explore the landscape of loss. By doing so, we let the loss unfold life’s brilliant narrative, full of beauty and bloom.
As we hold on to those who are close to our hearts—we seek refuge in the comfort of their words and company. They may not take away our cutting pain, but their understanding companionship can be a lot in the most difficult days. They can make us stand when our feet seem to fail. Even though, one day we have to stand on our own, but they can be there, until the timing comes.
We can engage ourselves in a world of arts. Art always fills the heart. It can chisel through the sorrow. And where many things fail, it is the world of colors as we hold a brush, it is the weaving of words as we hold a pen, that can bring us something in our darkest days. It is art that can calm us down on our stormiest days. The emotional us begins to calm down and we become more steady and heady with a rising creativity---one that lights our hearts.
We can slow down the pace of our lives and allow ourselves the time to heal. As a buried pain can be deadly, one that can chase us for a lifetime. Grief has no timeline. Take time to behold the unfolding beauty of nature. We have probably forgotten the music of life while living in the faster lanes, but the music never dies. It is we who kill it, with our relentless chase after things. As we take ourselves off from those faster lanes of life and see through, hear through, feel through the hidden beauties of nature, we feel the breeze again.We can take the time, as time is all ours.
We need not withdraw ourselves, as in the process we will lose more of ourselves. We can step outside or else, our world may grow smaller than it was. We may make and lose several friendships during this journey of healing. Still, this is a walk we have to take. As we Give ourselves the permission to take some support, in the retreat of those who care for your heart, healing begins.
Grieving has no identity, it has no social status. So, lets push our worries aside about society’s perceptions, and let ourselves grieve in the sheltering arms of those who love us. We can make room for new friendships in those worst times of ours. Trusting the cycle of life, will show us someday, that the sun will rise, breaking through the clouds. And it will be a new day. Will life ever be the same? No, of course not. We will always carry our loss, still we can have a life beyond loss, whose music, albeit differently will call our hearts again.
About the author...
Jayita Bhattacharjee....born in Calcutta, India and later on education from University of Houston in Economics, had chosen her career as a trustee and teacher.
Her love for writing on a journey of heart and soul was hidden all within. Her books " The Ecstatic Dance of Soul', " Sacred Sanctuary" are some of the many that are authored, in her deepest calling.