Autumn is blowing in with Summer behind us. Every season has significance and is a spiritual opportunity for growth.  The Autumn Equinox is a time of equal darkness and light, masculine and feminine, sun and moon; balance.  What might Fall mean for your romantic relationships? 

1.    It’s Time to Harvest the Goodness:  The Fall is the time when farmers gather crops for winter storage.  It’s a time of abundance, beauty and taking stock.  Make time to appreciate your partner and celebrate all you’ve co-created together.  This is a time of Thanksgiving, to be in the energy of appreciation and generosity. There are a number of appreciation baths and couples baths in my book, The Book of Sacred Baths’ that you can try. You can even create a Harvest couples bath to take stock of all you’ve reaped together.

 2.       It’s Time to Bond & Couple Up:  Autumn is the time where people couple up. Perhaps it’s in preparation for the cold season or holidays.  Many singles want to snuggle up with someone and to be part of a couple. While summer has the energy of fun, September is for more serious planning and longer-term goals, including relationships.  Fall is often called, ‘The Cuffing Season’ because most new relationships and engagements happen then. 

3.        Changes-Out with the Old:  Autumn is a time when the leaves transform, turn colors and fall off.  Practice letting go of old things that no longer serve you in your relationships so that new life can grow.  This could mean a breakup but it also can mean a careful pruning of your partnership.  What fights keep occurring?  What can you let go of?  What patterns will you release? What conditions permit the most optimal growth in your relationship and how can you plant those seeds?  As my spiritual teacher, Christopher Dilts likes to say, ‘Do you want to plant a seed or a weed, today?’


4.    Time to Balance Dark & Light:  As we’ve said, the Autumn Equinox is the balance point between dark and light, masculine and feminine, the sun and the moon and heaven and earth.  You can take this approach in your relationship to achieve greater balance.  Often in dating you just shine your best to your significant other.  This is largely fantasy.  It is only later that you discover our partner’s shadow side and reveal those darker parts of yourself.  Real love is accepting both and leveraging the dark aspects of your relationship for your joint growth.  It’s also important to learn to balance your inner masculine and feminine energies within yourself and within your relationship.  You can reflect on how your relationships are active and passive: Do you rest and play together more than you work and create, or the reverse?  Use this time to develop a greater integration between competing energies to achieve wholeness, fairness and health in your relationship.

 5.  Time to Make Hay:  When we think of Autumn we think of pumpkins, hay rides and Makin’ Whoopee.  Well, in Autumn testosterone rises and men find their girlfriends and wives even more attractive!  It is also the time that women are most fertile in November and December.  Biologically and psychologically it feels like the last chance to pair up before winter hits.  So, if you’re in a relationship, take this time to connect and increase the intimacy you already have with your partner.

6.     Time to Fill Up on Love to Feel Sustained:  Research shows that we eat more in the Fall to store up for the winter when things get scarce.  This can lead to weight gain so instead fill up on love and gratitude.  In addition, you can cook warm healthy meals together that are sustaining, like making vegetable or sweet potato soup, chili or curried cauliflower and chickpeas so that you gain more nutrients but don’t pack on the weight.

7.       Time for Completion: It is a few months before the New Year, a time to complete what remains undone.  What loose ends can you address in your relationship?  Are there are places to go or things to do before the next cycle begins?  Perhaps there are things to set you on the right path like feng-shuing your house, feathering your joint nest or making a vision board of your goals together.  Be creative about getting organized while school is in session and you are both indoors, more.  When we complete the old, it is easier to start fresh with a blank slate.

I hope you enjoy your Autumn season and have lots of great date nights.  We are going to check out the Great Pumpkin Blaze, a hayride, carving pumpkins, a visit to Salem in October and much more.

My Best in Love,


Bio: Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist, life coach, Relationship expert & author of, The Book of Sacred Baths published by Llewellyn and Dating from the Inside Out published by Atria Books.  She has written 21 books, translated into 5 languages.  She has a private practice in NYC and does international phone coaching. Her websites are  and .

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Comment by Paulette Sherman on September 28, 2016 at 10:00pm

Great!  Thank you Kathy.  I am happy to hear it:)


Comment by Kathy Custren on September 28, 2016 at 9:54pm

Hi, Paulette - A very nice (and seasonal!) relationship article - thank you! It is being forwarded to the publishers for use in a future edition, with our thanks ~ Blessings! 

OM Times Magazine is a Holistic Green eZine with a Spiritual Self-growth Perspective for the Conscious Community.



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