Happiness is a factor of Life and one well worth striving for. It’s a necessary component for us to completely embark on a spiritual path. Our heart, soul, and spirit don’t live in the energy of “not good enough”, or where there isn’t enough time, or in our negative energy. Let’s face it, some of us have had our fair share of addiction, trauma, and tragedy. Those who have experienced some of the more “hard core” issues, or are currently working through them, may find that sometimes we have to work a little harder to find our Joy.
Many of us have experienced the fallout of what we sometimes call “the matrix”. I prefer to think of it as limited patterns of controlling behavior which constricts our true power as creators because we think we have a limited amount of choices. What we forget sometimes is that we actually have to learn or re-learn how to be Happy. Many people are experiencing spiritual awakening or are in a deep emotional process of acceptance and release, or both. The key is realizing that it doesn’t all just happen overnight. We (typically) don’t just wake up to a massive pot of gold at the end of a rainbow one sunny morning, especially if we’ve had trauma, abuse, or addiction in our past. Basically, happiness is a more natural state of being. But, when we learn “misery” and limitation in its place, it also makes sense that we may have to learn how to be happy again. To go even further, we may have to learn how to be happy for the very first time…ever!
Our fears, traumas, abuse, and addictions leave us feeling pretty crappy – it’s true. It’s not necessarily something we embrace in the spiritual community of “love and light” but it doesn’t make the emotion any less real. Sometimes the crappy feeling takes over our mind and body to such an extent that it takes great heart and soul effort to overcome them in an emotionally healthy way. We all have (what we’ll call) “baskets” that we use for our emotions but this can also be detrimental to our recovery if we have one basket in which we place all of our emotions. For example, if someone has an addiction which has had a very negative effect on their life, they may have an emotional basket labeled “addiction”. Even when the person has freed themselves from their addiction they continue to carry around the addiction basket. The anonymous programming of organizations like AA encourage people to carry this addiction basket around with them every day and it then becomes a foundation for all of the emotional baggage in life. That means that whenever something feels off or wrong in life we can always put it in the “addiction” basket even though “what’s wrong” may have nothing to do with the addiction. One day we wake up and find that we have chronically created a scapegoat for all that is wrong in our world and we’ve managed to fit it into one (very limited) “basket”. The basket could be an abusive parent, an untrustworthy relationship, a deep seated fear, or even a financial “issue”. From there, we tend to take everything we view as being “wrong” and put it into our trauma basket thereby giving our power away to our perception of this one issue as we continue to let it control our lives via our “negative” (uncomfortable) emotions.
Once we have created a basket for our negative experiences, it becomes a habitual pattern to continue to pile more negative experiences into our trauma basket. What we sometimes fail to understand is that when we are constantly in a place of re-living our negative experiences we are also, however inadvertently, creating more negative experiences. From here, it gets a little more difficult to find acceptance until we lay down our basket or weave a new one. It helps to recognize that happiness is actually a learned behavior. If we’ve been taught in some way to be miserable we can also learn how to be happy instead. First of all, the fears, traumas, addiction, abandonment, etc. will still be there for a “minute” – regardless of whether or not we choose to focus on it. It’s a part of our life experience so it never fully “leaves” us but our perception of it, the emotions around it, and whether or not we chose to let it define us can change, will change… if we allow it. When we’re in the process of Healing from our afflictions, we are really coming to a place of learning to validate and appreciate those feelings which sees us not able to run away from them. We actually have to allow ourselves to grieve in a healthy way but the emotions may cause us to have looping thoughts that revolve around our basket of misery. This is when neuroplasticity or changing our mental focus plays a great role in overcoming traumatic experiences in order to Heal. In these situations we have to learn to focus on our mental focus and find a way to weave happy, loving, blissful experiences into our basket at the same time. Sometimes we find ourselves having to reach for these Happy experiences because we may not have very many of them or we forgot how it feels to be in a peaceful emotional place. However, if we focus on happy experiences (past, present, or future) it takes us away from the tunnel vision of solely focusing on the trauma.
When we re-live our negative, addictive, traumatic experiences over and over again we have a harder time “snapping out of it” so to speak. That’s not to say the issues aren’t real but we also have to focus on more positive experiences first before we begin to see them manifest into our physical reality. At the same time, when we’re so deeply focused on the trauma we may not see any positivity in our lives even though it may be there in force. What that ultimately comes down to is what we choose to focus on, our perspective, and whether we’re placing emphasis on a loving, positive, happy perspective or we place our spotlight on the fear, anxiety, and tragedy of the trauma. This is the part we have to “work” at because our patterned emotions also want to remain, almost like its own “parasitic” energy. It (truly) takes work to re-train our mental focus, especially when we are uncomfortable in our mind, body, and spirit. This is where neuroplasticity comes in or “focus on our mental focus”.
In my article, Quantum Mechanics of the Soul, I wrote about behavioral patterns and how our awareness of our own patterns changes how we interact with them. This means that just by being aware of our trauma basket we can begin to change how it affects us. Therefore, our conscious awareness of the “problem” shows the Universe our intention of Healing from said “problem” which is the first step in the process, recognition. From here we can begin to consciously interact with the emotions which is when we can shake them out and put them back again in a more positive way. We’ve also determined that some of us have to “work” a little harder to find those happy, lighter, more loving emotions. And, that’s okay – actually VERY normal when we are in “distress”! A great way to focus on our mental focus is an exercise I call “Emotional Imagination”. We’re quite used to hearing that “thoughts create things” and that’s true….to an extent. The real key to creating with the Law of Attraction is using our Emotional Imagination. This is when we’re planning our Happiness in the form of a dream vacation, a purposeful job, a prosperous future, a loving relationship, our kid’s gifted accomplishments, a healthy support system, good weather, the perfect friendship, making a mind/body connection, and on and on we go. As we Emotionally Imagine these memories it’s like a wave of Happiness washing up on our beach of “misery”. The wave loosens the little, irritating grains of sand (what I call “ninja demons”) and it’s up to us to re-integrate these grains of sand on our beach as we let go of the "shock and awe" around our negative experience and embrace our Happiness in its wake. We’re creating the most beautiful sea glass, loosening and smoothing our sharp, jagged traumas until we are no longer giving them our energy….AT ALL! And, we get to go to the most Amazing places while we weave a new basket into a new reality and a new (trauma-free) Life.
If you’d like more tips on dealing with trauma, please consider booking a session or reading with us at blueprintsforbutterflies.com
About the Author:
Jennifer Deisher is an Emotional Healer, Empath, Intuitive, and Spiritual Transformation Artist. She founded BlueprintsForButterflies to help others connect with their Higher Self and create a spiritual foundation in line with their own individual energy signature. To book a session/soul reading or to sign up for Jennifer’s Creative Writing Workshop – Opening the Creative Channel WithIN please visit BlueprintsForButterflies.com.