The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed. ~ Buddha
Have you lived long enough to truly know who you want to be? Have you fallen into the path of someone else’s concepts for who you ought to be? Would you like to Be the Change and create a turn in the road for yourself? Or might there be a way to use where you are to truly excel?
When we were little children, our parents set out to help us become the best human beings in the world. I’m pretty sure you Super Moms out there are doing the very same thing for your own children. Some of the things are blessed parents taught us, did not set well with us, and we have changed their methods to our own in raising our own children. Sometimes, this is upsetting to our parents, and it takes a bit of finessing to exercise our decisions.
I was lucky because my parents always told me “Do it the way I want it done, and when you are an adult, you can do it the way you want to.” There have been a few times when they disagreed with how I was doing things, and I had to remind them of their own words.
If your parents didn’t tell you this when you were a child, there is still a gentle way to explain to them that you’d like to try something different because you feel that it is an improvement, and wouldn’t they want you to continue to expand? Wink, wink.
And truly, Buddha’s words ARE so right: Only the moment you reject all help are you freed. You may have to stand tall for your own freedom, and this will help your kids stand tall when they shake off your ideas and stand for their own, as is each one’s right.
Oscan Wilde once said “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” It’s true that in a world where you can choose to be anything you want, being yourself is a wonderful choice. You are unique among mankind. There is no other you. What you bring to the world’s table is invaluable. Once you embrace this within yourself and decide to “Be Me” you will relax into your being and seek first your own opinion as most valuable.
Your Past Has Passed
Try not to remain stuck in your old experiences. It’s a fresh new day and you are NOT NOW who you were then. Your eyes are in the front of your face not the back, so it’s a big clue to look FORWARD for your changing. What can you accomplish now? What can you accomplish next? How can you begin right where you are and morph into a bettered you? You’re a mom, so how can you improve on that game?
“I Know You Are But What Am I?”
I once overheard two teen-aged boys taunting one another with name calling. Each of them answered the taunt with “I Know You Are But What Am I?” and neither one appeared to internalize his brother’s taunting. I love this let it roll off your back kind of an attitude. I think it is most important to only care about how YOU see you and not how another see’s you. The American Indians have keen insight into this concept – don’t form an opinion about any other until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. No one understands your circumstances better than you do.
Nothing to Hide
In becoming who you want to be, it’s important not to hide yourself. If you are doing what you think is most honorable, most supportive to your own growth, and it’s what you want to do, then there is nothing to hide. It is okay to be you; to make your decisions; to live your life as you see fit, and true freedom is doing that with no fear of an other person’s opinion. Come to terms with your good and bad points and get comfortable in that skin.
Laugh at Yourself
It is only in the most embarrassing moments that you come to embrace the fullness of yourself. No one is perfect. If they were perfect, they wouldn’t still be here on this earth. We all make mistakes. Learn to laugh at them. Find a way to view them with humor and then use them as funny stories to entertain others. Let others laugh at them too. Perfectionism seldom cries from laughing so hard.
End All Comparisons TODAY
I once heard a saying “Take all insults as compliments and pass them off as bad jokes.” You Super Moms out there who are doing your level best to assume all roles, be all things, never lose your energy levels and be as perfect as you can be, I truly salute you for your efforts. But I know that you cannot look at any other Super Mom and wish for becoming who you think she is. Notice I said who you think she is, because trust me, who you think she is is not who she really is. You have created a fantasy in your own mind by comparing yourself to her.
Just be you. Be the very best you that you know how. Oh sure, chat with your other Super Mom friends and use their ideas for doing new things in your own life, but do them because you want to, because they appeal to you, and NOT so that you can be like that other Super Mom to whom you compare yourself. I’ve heard it said that “all comparisons are odious,” and I agree with that.
Super Moms rock the cradle of the world. Embrace this fabulous world and give it your own twist, your own personality, your own character, your own manner of being. You are enough for you and you can become any next best thing you decide to become. My hat’s off to you!
Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
~ W. Clement Stone