Memory: Summertime 1957, four years old

Brush stroking hair warm freckled face I feel so special.  I get to sit in my tiny chair and get my hair brushed from the older boy who lives across the grass from our duplex.  I am one with the green grass and blue heavens.  I could be an angel flying upon the beautiful fluffy clouds that float in heaven like marshmallows’ without a stick.  Why does it feel so good to have your hair brushed by someone?  I never want him to stop.  With each stroke I fall deeper into this state of deep calm and peace.  There’s a part of me that just wants to fall asleep!  All I know is that I feel loved and cared for and I feel safe.  

As I sit in this trance I gaze in the kitchen window watching my mom wash the dishes.  I love my mom so much.  Even though she can be cranky I know she was a good mommy.   Sometimes it was my trickery that made her crabby.  One day I thought it would be fun to lock her out of the duplex and boy was she mad at me that day.  My mom loves me yet there are times she disappears somewhere deep inside and I cannot reach her so I too would just go inside and play and dream and wonder…

I continued to gaze off into the nothingness when in the midst of this moment there appeared three little beings of light.  There were no faces no eyes or mouths and no nose or ears.  But there they were before me dangling in the air.  I was calm because I felt as if I knew them.  One of them stood out in front of the other two and he felt as if he were the older wise one. He talked to me and the two beings behind him stood guard.  We really didn't talk it was speaking without words as if our minds were one.

In my mind I heard him tell me that he came with a message from the others.  He said that I would be all alone in this life and that my life was going to be a very hard one.  But he also told me to remember that I really am never alone because they would always be with me and others too would protect and guide me through this life.  Way deep inside and without any fear I understood and knew it to be true.  I came back into my body my eyes lifted and I saw my mom in the window...