"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing." ~ Rollo May

Some people just have the gift of gab - the ability to chat up anybody – and with them, it appears to be effortless. Interacting successfully with a variety of people is not only necessary, but a highly desirable skill. A little insight into how others tick can make every interaction more fruitful – and pleasurable!

Building a rapport requires building a sense of interdependence. By anticipating the personal strengths and weaknesses of our colleagues, families, and clients, we can optimize our approach and put them at ease. Consider the following:

  1. Each personality type has a different objective: Nice people are “people people” and they want to be liked. Creative people want to put their personal flair into their activities. Realists are analytical, and Ambitious Perfectionists want to efficiently run the whole show.
  2. Each personality type has strengths and weaknesses:
    • Nice people are selfless but sometimes timid.
    • Creative people offer great ideas and passion, but their energy can sometimes overwhelm more serious types.
    • Realists are very reliable and detail oriented, but sometimes appear aloof.
    • Ambitious perfectionists are great at directing others but can sometimes seem overbearing or nitpicky.
    3. Over time, using your powers of observation and your ability to reason and sort information into categories, you will start to become more cognizant of the best way you can approach each personality:
    Nice people like a people-centric approach. When you share information with them, make sure they can see how others will be benefited.
    • Creative people like to discuss ideas. You can approach them in a way that inspires the exchange of fresh perspectives.
    • Realists deal with facts and logic. You can explain the bottom-line to them both succinctly and rationally and they will get it.
    • Ambitious perfectionists want the job done expediently and to their satisfaction, so you can approach them to help them feel as though their guidance is welcome and needed.
    4. When considering your approach, focus on the reward of successful interaction. Sure, it’s a little draining to find a way to share your wisdom with an ambitious perfectionist, for example. But, “What do you think of X? I wanted to get your input first,” could get you very far.

 Our personalities are fundamental to who we are, and we will sometimes clash with others. Finding the inclusivity within ourselves to make room for communicating well with everyone is its own sweet reward.


“Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else ... Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.”
― Hermann Hesse

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