The way in which parents communicate with their children after divorce not only has a huge impact on how children cope within the midst of this life transition but also affects how well they trust themselves and their own intuition later on in life. There is a common misperception that keeping children in the dark or being dishonest with them about certain aspects surrounding this situation especially with regards to the ups and downs of parental emotions is somehow a form of protection for them. However nothing could be further from the truth.
Kids, just like adults are energetic beings. They have amazing intuition and how well they learn to trust that intuition or inner guidance totally depends on how many times that intuition actually gets validated. For example, if every time a child has a bad feeling that something is wrong emotionally or energetically and the parent then lies to them and tells them everything is perfectly fine, the child will believe the parent and begin to mistrust the feelings they have within them. Therefore seeds of doubt are planted with regards to how accurate their internal compass is.
On the other hand if every time a child has a negative feeling that something is wrong and the parent is open and honest with them saying something like, “Yes you are right, something is wrong. Mommy is sad and this is why…” Then the child gets validated and begins to trust their intuition or internal compass. Children already sense emotions at the energetic level so to see the corresponding facial expressions and hear the corresponding words that match up with those energetic frequencies that they are receiving is healthy. To see the opposite expressions and hear the opposite words from what they are feeling energetically is confusing to them.
It’s okay for a child to see that a parent has real emotions and to even see them express those emotions freely and truthfully. It actually brings about a sense of security for the child to hear the truth. That doesn’t mean that they will in any way feel less safe if you share with them the truth because as a parent you will always be ensuring them that you will do your best to protect them and take care of them and that no matter what they are loved. When a child sees that their parents have real feelings and can express them effectively and then find resolution after the conflict or emotional appearance then it teaches them conflict resolution. They know that their world won’t come crashing down if both of their parents aren’t happy 100% of the time.
If a child is continually “protected” from the truth their inner compass not only morphs into a useless and mistrusted tool but eventually they will just turn it off altogether. After continually finding that this tool doesn’t ever match up with the words and expressions they hear from their parents it becomes a completely useless instrument to them. This is so unfortunate because now this amazing gift that exists in all of us that lets us know at best when we have entered into a less than desirable situation and at worst a dangerous one is rendered completely useless.
Feelings shouldn’t be hidden, they should be shared and expressed sincerely and candidly and used for valuable moments of teaching, learning, and growing. Honesty is a gift and every time you are honest with your child you validate what they already know or sense at the energetic level. Use those moments to let your child know that they have a gift of intuition and that it is right on target. Tell them that their internal compass is working beautifully and to keep on trusting it. Do this a few times and watch how not only will your child not fall apart but they will begin to grow into confident, compassionate, and expressive energetic beings who can stand firm in their own inner-knowingness. They will have a trust for themselves that will be unshakable and they will be far more capable of coping with the energetic world around them.
Children are far more capable of processing the truth then sometimes we give them credit for. Even if they don’t hear the words, they are processing the truth energetically so it’s better if the words they hear and the expressions they see match the feeling they get intuitively. Then their world will make sense to them. They are timeless souls and they are connected to the same collective consciousness that we all are. They are one with all of us so exclusion can never be the answer. You may have to give them the truth in a language that they can understand but just as you would alter your language to speak to a person in a foreign country the message can still be conveyed genuinely and in a way that is comprehensible.
Truth and honesty should be embraced, not feared. The truth exists whether or not you decide to share it. So be brave and align yourself energetically with what already is. Speak the truth. Your children deserve nothing less.
Rev. Marcy Ellen is the author of The Soul Truth; Reflections for the Waking Soul. She is a spiritual channel, energy healer, Reiki Master, and a radio host with a Master's of Divinity Degree from the University of Metaphysical Sciences. www.revmarcyellen.com