“I will be honest. I'm maxed in time. Full with family issues. And emotionally drained. But I'm a good person…and I say this with tears,” wrote a full time working mom on the verge of hopelessness, reaching out to me for help. She, like most working mothers is overcommitted, out of balance, and feeling the pain of decades of choices that are not in alignment with her beautiful, radiant soul.
This message on my inbox from this distraught mom came at the tail end of Gwyneth Paltrow’s interview with E! prior to announcing her Conscious Uncoupling where she stated "I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. " This statement cut to the bone of working mothers who put in the time and energy to offer their families all that they need and want. And even with this kind of effort, they feel depleted, exhausted beyond belief, and out of ideas on how to feel the ever-elusive Work Life Balance everyone talks about.
Well, I’m here to tell you there’s hope. I am not offended by Paltrow’s statement. Is she out of touch with most people’s reality? Absolutely. But she also opens up the door to a new possibility, or at least another. Some can hide behind the fact that they are not as priviledge as she is, and yes, they would be right, but is being right enough? Definitely not.
Being right only allows us to feel complaisant with the status quo of our lives, but being REAL, that is a whole different story.
If Paltrow’s words evoke an overwhelming sense of anger and disdain, then follow the pain you feel. The pain is the indicator that something is not right in your life. If your life feels anything like the message I received from the successful executive working mom above, take pause, and listen within.
I know it is much easier to point the finger at the out of touch celebrity, but she is just a actress in your cosmic movie. She is showing you that there are possibilities that could be in more alignment with your family, your purpose, and your sense of fulfillment. Allow that pain to come through, get the clarity that it brings and choose you.
This is the time in our human evolution when it is of the utmost urgency that you listen to the calling of your soul. And if this feels incredibly overwhelming, scary, and confusing, then for no, just breathe. Breathe actually allows you to pull away from the stresses of your mind, from the past, and from worrying about the future. Breath invites you into a state of living in the here and now.
I know, I know, it all seems so hokie pokie, but believe me it is not! You have to start somewhere. So breathe. Allow yourself time to go inward, and closing your eyes (right now even!) allow you to tune into your breathe, and creates a possibility of consciously uncoupling from stress & an unbalanced life.
Ok, so what happens after you breathe? Keep doing it! I’m serious. Continue to schedule time into your life so that you spend that inward, prayer-like solitude your heart and soul is yearning to embody. That is what the pain is asking; it is asking for attention and focus to your inward, true self. So schedule it for the love of your life!
One thing you have to remember about balance is that it is always a moving target. It will look differently from day to day, and that inward breath practice will help you tune into what weeks you are needing more quiet re-balancing time and when you can steam with full force.
The re-juvinating and re-balancing allows you the space to be receptive to your own voice, to your true calling, and to the form it will take. Without it, you will probably go straight into burn out, and create yet another generation of purpose unfulfilled; you don’t want that. I know you don’t want that!
So, let’s re-cap the process thus far:
This is where the fun begins in your life. When you are in relationship with that yin, inward delicious part of your, creativity and miracles are accessible and by taking action, they become the new way of being and living. The place of listening to your soul and creating a heavenly life; where you get know your life purpose and move in the world with full conviction, courage, and confidence, and in doing so, you create a life that is in service to the world. If you don’t know your life purpose, keep breathing, get support around this, and have patience. Remember you are undoing decades of patterns, and although there can be a quickening, it does take some time.
Before this Heaven on Earth exists, there is a transition place that occurs. Not always a fun place, it is the place where you get to find out what you are made of. The place where you decide balance must exist in your life, boundaries must be firmed up, and life long patterns need to be deconstructed. And then, there’s the plan; your exit plan.
Please do not quit your job. This will only make you freak out, and make choices that are out of desperation, and nobody does business with a desperate person. Unless, they themselves are desperate, and well, that’s just not a fun sustainable working relationship. So, keep your job and create the plan where you build your side business systematically, fearlessly, and consistently.
Part 2: the conscious plan