There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. Choices and actions are leading us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we attach emotions to the experience like I feel bad—uneasy, unhappy, unsure, or guilty. We might go so far as to label ourselves “bad” when a situation like this arises. Instead of labeling ourselves, we could acknowledge that we made a choice that led us down a particular path and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose and act in ways that support our best intentions.
Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were used as weapons to control us—you were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didn’t. I am not faulting anyone for doing this. Perhaps they learned the same thing from their parents or caregivers. This kind of discipline undermines a person’s ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self. If you were raised this way, you might find yourself feeling shockwaves of badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if you now disagree it is wrong. You may also harbor a deep sense of guilt.
Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you learned was right. Notice how this puts you in something like a straitjacket. An essential part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation on our own terms.
You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label yourself good or bad is judging yourself. What you are is a decision-maker, a creator of your life’s experiences, every moment provides you opportunities to move in the direction of your highest and best or on the course of stagnation or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to the center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are you.
We live in a system of dualistic living, making each person on the planet a judge not only of their life but of people they know and don’t know. Humanity has been programmed to think this way. We are bombarded with daily judgments as people decide who is “right” or “wrong, “good,” or “bad.”
We live in a dynamic system of things, a place where everything is energy.
The chair you sit on, the book you read and the words on a page of the book, a television show, music, plants, trees, animals, your house, absolutely everything, even you. Your thoughts and feelings have a specific vibration depending on what you are creating in your mind. They, too, go out into the Universe as energy.
Words are powerful; however, when we apply negative words or thoughts to a person, we are not only transferring negative energy to them but to ourselves. Oh yes, it comes back to us. The thing is, you are already holding space for the anger you feel towards them in your energetic field, then what you send out comes back to you and you get even more. It’s like holding onto a double dose of negative energy and not what you originally intended.
Forgiveness is also an essential aspect of not categorizing people good or bad. The lack of forgiveness is a form of judging. This holds negative energy in your own energetic field, keeping that person connected to you energetically and draws what you send out back to you. That old cliché’ “What goes around, comes around,” is very accurate. But when it energetically returns, it is stronger.
I had a friend recently tell me that she was not going to forgive someone for a few months; it had already been months. Her intention was to hold onto her anger and madness for three months. I actually gave a little laugh, asking, ‘why three months?’ I mentioned to the friend I felt it odd that she needed to make herself feel, anger, resentment and betrayal towards the person or group of people for an allotted time. Embracing that kind of negative energy, or stuff can build up over time when you put layer upon layer and could even lead to dis—ease in her body.
She said she was not ready to give it up. Even with the knowledge, she was doing no harm to them only herself, she refused to let it go. I mentioned that I was not judging her, but wanted her to know what she was doing to her body’s energetic field.
Also that I wanted her around a long time so we could lift our glasses together when we were in our nineties. (Ha, guess that could be viewed as reading or even drinking glasses.)
Something people do not realize is that holding onto anger, resentment, hostility, or hatred towards another person, binds the person to their energy creating a link or bond. Imagine that, the very person or group you want to actually avoid is now tied to you energetically until you release yourself from holding onto that type of energy through forgiveness.
Why do people do that? Perhaps it is a badge of honor or a blanket of delusional self-protection. Either way, it is harmful to your body. If you have people you have not forgiven, why? How does it serve you? Because it is serving you in some way, whether you know it or not. When you hold a grudge or are non-forgiving, it is like putting up your hand to the Universe and saying, “I want to evolve but not yet. “
In essence, it gives the person you are holding the lack of forgiveness to your power. You are allowing them to hold you back. I used to do the same thing until I realized it was not about “them” but totally about me.
Why would I want to make myself ill or continually be triggered if I think of someone that I could not forgive? So, this mortal woman has learned to forgive.
As evolving spiritual beings, our objective is to learn and clear our stuff; but if we choose to hold onto that stuff, we are not evolving as well as we may think.
I am not saying you have to become buddy buddy with a person that has treated you unkindly or worse.
Incorporating them into your life may not be an option. That is perfectly fine. By releasing the negative energy, you harbor towards a particular person no matter what they have done or group, you will continue on the path of your own self-development free from carrying unhealthy excess baggage.