Published August 2015 C Editions
Relationships page 70
Words- 746 Bio-51
Submitted to Personal Growth/Health & Healing
by Gia Dalton
The ego craves attention and loves to compare. The more attention it gets, the bigger it becomes. Comparing yourself to others, positively or negatively is all about ego. Comparing creates separation. It is based on assumptions, and perceptions. Your perceptions, may not be accurate or true. They may be totally ridiculous. The "Comparison Game" is played out in your mind.
Collectively we are one. The minute you compare yourself to another person good or bad, and what you perceive their struggles to be, or feel like, you create separation. You have declared sides, you against them. The Ego either provides a false sense of superiority, which you really don't believe anyway, or an inferiority complex. At the end of the day you crawl into bed, pull the covers up over your head, and in the morning wake up...and its still you !
The comparison game is mentally exhausting and stressful. People in glass houses should not throw stones. Everyone has endured short comings, and struggles.You are hanging on a slippery slope when your ego has become so bold to declare, what you perceive as a truth against another person.
When you look at someone or a situation and begin comparing, images and thoughts race through your mind. You think you are not good enough, smart enough, old enough, young enough, skinny enough. Perhaps you think you are better than, smarter, younger, older, more in shape than. The list goes on and on. In addition, and here is the real kicker, this is when those old "I'm not good enough" recordings chime in and agree. Great! Just the validation you did NOT need.
Behind that awful feeling of unworthiness is the real culprit. The one that dwells in the ego place called Fear. You remember him, or her don't you? Fear and Ego hand in hand, smiling and laughing as they cultivate your demise. And a demise it will be, if you surrender to it. They make you think you can't do all the wonderful, fantastic and amazing things that you actually can do.
Lets' look at this closely once again. Fear is the ego's way of keeping you separated from other's. Fear want's you to feel alone and isolated, or superior to those you are comparing yourself to. Let me ask you this question? Who are you comparing yourself to? How does it make you feel when you make those comparisons ? Does it serve you ? Do you feel empowered ? Do you feel self righteous ? Do you feel better about yourself ? Perhaps you feel bad or selfish?
When you compare yourself to another person, what you are actually saying is that you are not good enough, or you are better than they are. That's it. The reality is, it is not about the other person. It's about you. What are you really afraid of, or threatened by ?
Take a look at your comparing. Say it out loud, tell a friend, write it down. "When I compare I'm afraid of _______." This takes courage, but you can do it. Once you have acknowledged what you fear, it's power is gone. You have a starting point, where you can begin to learn and grow.
The truth is always found in love. Fear is nothing more than the absence of love. Expose fear and you will discover love. Uncover fear, and you find the truth. "The truth will set you free!."
Forgive yourself, and others who have participated in the useless mind game of comparison. This game will not serve you,, and it will not serve others. You are hardly alone , as everyone has fears. You would be surprised to learn just how many of your fears are identical to those of your friends. When you find yourself falling into the comparison game stop and say to yourself " I don't play the Comparison Game. I am unique. I am divine. I am not here to judge, vindicate, or absolve anyone" .
Now, write down those fears and toss them, burn them, bury, or what the heck, even flush them down the toilet. What ever you decide to do, just get rid of them. Start living your life from a place of love, empowerment and gratitude. You have amazing gifts and talents. That is what makes you beautiful and one of a kind. When you stop comparing, you give yourself , and other’s the opportunity to learn, grow and evolve the way they were destined and designed to be.
Gia Dalton is a Visionary Writer, Author, Speaker, Coach, Teacher, and Intuitive Life Strategist. She is currently writing a book, and operates a private concierge holistic practice. She is a Modern, Bohemian Guru.
“My mission is to motivate, empower and inspire the lives of others with integrity, beauty and love.”