Ego Energy #63—The Best of Our Humanity
Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent impacts the way we go about living our daily lives—humanly and spiritually. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, understanding our ego energy helps us to ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.
Ego Energy 63: Balanced Power—Balanced Flexibility—Balanced Vulnerability
This is the “ideal” ego energy. The one in which we are striking the healthiest balance within our ego’s power, flexibility, and vulnerability. A person with this ego energy has a healthy ability to interact with people. While being a follower or leader, depending on which is being called upon in a particular work, play, or social setting. We can approach relationships with loved ones in an interdependent manner. There are times when we can lean upon loved ones and lovingly depend on them for what they can offer to us or we can give to them. While, also being able to go it alone when necessary, without becoming distant or alienated from our loved ones. We can also love ourselves in healthy ways that allow us to love all others—known and unknown—as we manifest the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, within our being.
We seek to achieve with all of the talents we have been given while undertaking our work with a sense of passion rather than burden. Within this effort we can see what we have learned along the journey and have been made better by it. We have no need to compare our journey with others, as such comparisons are meaningless. We have no need to build shrines to ourselves reflective of accomplishments for others to see. The service we are here to provide—human and Divine—has come into focus and we are realizing our life’s purpose.
The growth within the quality of our mind toward truth is healthy. It is within the flexibility of our ego energy that we can add, change, or remove thoughts, beliefs, values, and prejudices which belong or don’t belong there. The arbiter is always the willingness to be connected to truth rather than faulty beliefs. No matter how painful the reckoning may be. As we will ultimately be set free to live the greatest of lives by truth—human and Divine.
Our dealings with the inevitable personal, situational, societal, and technological changes that life will bring are in keeping with the understanding that life cannot and will not stand still. As the energy upon which it rests is dynamic rather than static. We work to manage change rather than avoiding, rejecting, or seeking to undo it. We embrace, honor, and follow worthy traditions which have wisdom to teach and serve us, while discarding faulty traditions that have been shown to be destructive and which were created to exploit people, wildlife, and the environment. We can also instigate needed change to address that which should not remain stagnant and unhealthy in our personal lives.
We can work with the adversity that comes in the form of failures, losses, and mistakes. Often, rooted in the imperfect nature of ourselves, others, and life which we have come to accept and learn from, rather than to avoid or reject. This work involves the ability to seek and understand relevant causes, owning what we must own in contributing to problems, and developing solutions which allow us to effectively solve problems and not just dealing with symptoms. The ultimate lesson having been learned that management of the problem is more important than the problem itself.
It is within this ego energy that we have the greatest opportunity to experience the abundance of genuine happiness that is available to us. We don’t accept substitutes for it in the form of pseudo-happiness. While understanding its ingredients include being at peace with oneself, others, and the world, being motivated by love rather than fear in one’s efforts, living in the present rather than being chained to the past or consumed with the future, and so on. Also, the gift of our other emotions including sadness, anger, fear, and guilt are playing their part in helping us to know when we are gaining distance from happiness or the direction we may need to take to get there.
The stressors and stress we encounter (e.g. financial, work, health, family, relationships, etc.) are being kept in perspective by our ability to understand and manage them. We react, rather than overreact or underreact, to their size, frequency, or seriousness, in ways that allow us to manage them, rather than letting them manage us and our lives. This includes the use of proven strategies, often rooted in the “wisdom of the ages” and the divine nature of our design such as healthy eating, exercise, rest, and recreation patterns, meditation, yoga, mindfulness practice, and cognitive therapy. Rather than quick fixes or approaches that often become unhealthy addictions including alcohol, drugs, over the counter medications, food, and cyber-related consumption.
Our management of conflict is healthy. We seek to use it as a tool by which to teach and learn from others. The difference between constructive and destructive conflict is well known and we disengage from the latter. Its signs include personal attacks and insults where nothing can be taught or learned, the focus of the issue/conflict/argument has been lost, and the emphasis is on “winning” while some degree of the relationship—if not all of it—has been lost. We can agree to disagree when no meeting of the minds can occur and remain friendly, if not friends. Never losing sight of the importance of cultivating or maintaining the relationship.
Dr. Nickolas Martin is a licensed psychologist who has worked in clinical, university, public school and private practice settings as a therapist, diagnostician, educator and consultant for 35 years. He authored Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self and co-authored with Rev. Linda M. Martin, EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life.