Abstract: Embracing anger as an ally. How we can use our anger as part of the process of finding peace in ourselves and in the world.

Anger is rising as we make an enormous shift in human consciousness. If we look outside of ourselves to find the resolution we feel angry that we are not able to control how others think, feel and behave. If we try to hold back the anger we create an internal war within ourselves. It is easy to forget that anger is an ally that alerts us to when we need to make a change, a change that can lead us to a path of peace.

We know that change starts with each of us. We know we need to change our perspective on to how communicate and behave with others in the world. The question is how do we use anger in a safe and constructive way? Some say to control the anger and some say express it. Some say learn to forgive, think positive and meditate. Some think that anger leading to violence is and inevitable part of the human experience.

What if we embraced our anger as an ally? What if we embraced it as a signal that guides us in our aliveness? What if we listened to it’s signals at “point easy” when our anger is still frustration or annoyance? What if acknowledge when we hold back and turn our anger into resentment and upheaval with ourselves and others? What if we stop festering anger into self-hate and directing it toward others? What if we remember that we can only love and accept others as much we are loving and accepting ourselves?

What if we use our anger in the following constructive ways?

(1) Acknowledge the nature of the addictive culture we live in. A culture which promotes  work addiction, drugs, movies and violence as a way to avoid and deal with our emotions. An example is the unhealthy ideal of masculinity boys have often been taught to live up to. An ideal tells men that real men should do everything on their own, not cry and express their anger through violence.

(2) Cultivate the ability to express our feelings in a safe and nurturing place. Try out this exercise…

  • Find an appropriate place to express the word hate just like it sounds.
  • Think of someone that triggers our anger.
  • Notice what happens when we express the haaaaaa part of hate (sounding like hay…exaggerate it) all the way down your throat and down to the end of our spine.
  • Explore hitting some pillows or holding our hand over our mouth as we express.
  • Open our jaws wide and end the sound with an abrupt te as we blow the air out.
  • Notice how movement and vibration loosens control and opens a new pathway.
  • If we express long enough (depending on how much we have held back) we can find ourselves bursting into tears wondering how we could have done or said what we did.
  • We open to love, compassion, changing beliefs and allowing something new to happen.

(3) Distinguish the difference between toxic and healthy anger. Healthy anger is a desire to make a change. It also alerts us when we need to have healthier boundaries. Toxic anger is when we choose to use our anger to destroy ourselves and others.

(4) Discover the difference between discerning and judging. Discerning is observation of ourselves or others. Judgement is deciding that there is something inherently wrong and bad with what we see.

(5) Cultivate the ability to see from different perspectives and different levels of consciousness. Learn how people differ in their values and different ways of resolving anger and conflict. Don Edward Beck, author of Spiral Dynamics, describes an evolutionary model that is supporting responsible leadership for peace around the world. It is a great way to bring understanding and compassion into the dynamic interaction between people and culture.

(6) Be willing to admit that we do not have all the answers.

(7) Stay connected to our source and internal guidance system. Remember that all beings are all connected with the same universal intelligence.

(8) Trust the process.

(9) Understand that perturbation is necessary for evolution. There is a natural time of unrest and chaos as we breakdown the old and breakthrough to the new.

(10) Be open to change our minds, beliefs and values. Through conversation and reaching out to others we can learn about their humanness and desire for a better world.

(11) Assume that people are good at heart. All humans have a life that has been shaped in many different ways. Learn to understand where they are coming from and let them know that they are being heard.

(12) Cultivate the ability to have a peaceful argument. Let people know how you feel and how you came to your conclusion.

About the Author

Crystal is a certified expansion guide, coach, author and facilitator of the five day live event called Freedom at the Core. Her passion is creating a safe, fun and nurturing space for people to discover what stands between any holding back and the freedom they desire.





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Comment by Regina Chouza on October 13, 2017 at 12:37pm

Hi Crystal,  That is perfect, I have passed it one. 



Comment by Crystal Presence on October 11, 2017 at 10:49am

Hi Regina, thanks for your comment. I make a quick change in one of the second sentence. I added the word "feel" to this sentence..."we feel angry that we are not able to control how others think, feel and behave."  It used to only say just "thing and behave". I'm thinking that it is not too late to add this.

Thanks for all you are doing to make OM happen,


Comment by Regina Chouza on October 10, 2017 at 6:14pm

Hi Crystal! Thank you so much for this! I'll have a look through for grammar and syntax, if there are no major comments I'll pass this piece onto the publishers for review. 

Have a nice day!


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