No matter who we are, where we live, what we do for a living, how much money we have or how old we are, there are going to be times in our lives when we come face to face with the Dark Parana in the guise of grief.  It can easily go un-noticed at first because grief wears many cloaks to conceal its identity.  Our first mistake is to think it only lies wait until we have someone close to us die but really it is there in all kinds of death.  Grief is associated with death and this can be in the physical body, the end of a relationship, losing or retiring from a job, loss of income / home, or even the end of a cycle in your life. All these bring with it great changes in our lives and ones we alone will have to travel through. Grief sometimes it raises its head but for a few short hours while other times it seems like it stays with us for a lifetime. 

Like all things along our life’s journey, grief too serves a purpose. Without it there are so many lessons we would never learn, so many opportunities and chances we would never take.  It often forces us to venture deep within our soul and once there, we choose whether to remain in the darkness or to rise above it.  Whether we want to admit or not, how we handle grief is all up to us.  When we are in the middle of grief it may be hard to focus on how this could possibly be positive but when we allow ourselves to step back and observe the situation and accept we are going to be okay, the pieces usually begin to fall into place.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are known as the five stages of grieving.  We generally experience all five sometime and in no particular order, while we are traveling on the path of grief. Regardless of which death we are experiencing we will no doubt touch on all of these emotions.  We will often wonder why no one else feels the same way we do or how could anyone understand? Actually, everyone handles it differently and at their own speed and level of awareness.  There will be others who will be able to guide us through the difficult times if we are open to accept their helping hand. Being okay with expressing how we feel whether it is with a friend, a counsellor or writing in our journal is the first step to taking back the control of our own lives.

Any change in our lives brings with it moments of grief as we leave behind the known – whether that known has been good to us or not- as we either by choice or force step out of a comfort zone.  It doesn’t mean we never look back or tuck the feeling deep inside because someday when we least expect it, it will emerge. So much of our sadness is based upon what could have been, might have been or what we thought is should have been. Time spent thinking about what we said, didn’t say, did or didn’t do, what others said or how they acted all puts energy and the time that is today’s gift in the past where it serves no purpose...unless we learn from those actions and make positive decisions on how we want our future to manifest.

This week use the chart provided or write in your journal things you have learned from times of grief in your life. You may wish to look at the descriptive words in chart one to help you.  If you are experiencing this now, think of how you can turn things around for yourself in a positive way. If you find you are holding onto the sadness, take a look and see if you are becoming comfortable with being a victim and think about what steps are needed to change into a survivor. Remember we all go through this differently and there is no time frame. Don’t be afraid to talk about your ideas.

 

 

 

Negative

Positive

G

Grievances, grudges

Gratitude, giving

R

Regrets, remorse, revenge

Release, rejoice, rejuvenate

I

Isolation, ignorance

Involvement, inquiry, improve

E

Envy

Enlightenment, empowerment

F

Fantasy, Furious

Forgiveness, fun

What I have learned from a past grieving experience:

 

Negative

Positive

G

 

 

R

 

 

I

 

 

E

 

 

F

 

 

What I am going through at this moment or feel I need to do to get through the above grievance:

 

Negative

Positive

G

 

 

R

 

 

I

 

 

E

 

 

F

 

 

 

   As an ordained Minister of Spirituality and Metaphysics, Janice is following her path as a Spiritual Growth Facilitator by using her love of teaching and writing to create various workshops aimed  at spiritual growth and development. In her private Spiritual Coaching Sessions, she uses her own intuitively designed oracle cards and meditations to gently guide others to find their strength and purpose. Learn more at www.mindfuljourney.ca

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