Many of us want that happily ever after fairytale ending. The question is, does that even exist or is it all smoke and mirrors? We watch these romantic movies and compare our lives to them and ask ourselves why we can’t find that. We can’t find that because it is a movie. It is not reality. So how do we find that right person out there? I do believe it exists. We are all meant for something including what type of partner and when. There is much more involved in just simply dating or going online and connecting with someone. We can connect with a variety of people, but it does not mean they are the “right” one. Many of us can say we have been through several brutal dates and relationships to prove that statement. This is not to say the other half has not found their true loves and are living happy lives. So why does it seem so easy for others? That is simple to answer. They were open to finding what they needed and wanted. They attracted the exact energy they were looking for and giving off.
So many times we force something that can’t be forced or we stay in miserable relationships so we are not alone. We fear being alone, so we settle. We love the way we believe we deserve to be loved. Those ridiculously embarrassing dates or moments can turn into memories. Of course you will run into a few questionable issues when dating as we all have. You know, the ones where you might want to jump out of a moving car or run for your life; however, if we stop being so picky and vain and be more open to letting someone in that doesn’t fit our list of impossible expectations, we might just find Mr. or Mrs. Right. How much do you make? What type of car do you drive? What do you do for a living? What color is your hair? These are things that people worry about when trying to find a partner. This is the problem. Stop thinking and having so many rules. Just go into it with an open mind. Don’t analyze every single thing that comes out of their mouth. Don’t worry about how they do their hair or how they dress. Basically, don’t be so vain. It is a fact that our society has conformed to this.
You never know who you will fall for or develop feelings for if just given a chance. I hear so many people say they don’t know why they are single and can find someone. Well, maybe you should stop being picky and worrying about all the wrong things. If you complain you don’t have time. Make time. You can’t do a complete turnaround in the middle of courting someone. This is a turnoff. If you are not ready, don’t start it. We all are busy and have lives. You make time for someone special or stay single. That being said, do not disregard qualities, morals, and values. That is completely understandable.
Attraction and chemistry are important as well as communication. What is not is a list of outrageous wants and needs. Here are a few online dating don’ts:
These are just some major ones that are big no-no’s. You will find that both men and women rarely respond to these types of profiles or dates unless they are the same way. There are a few more we can all think of to add to this list I’m sure; however, just know the limits. The more limits, the less likely you will find Mr. or Mrs. Right. We all want to be happy and not alone. We usually end up alone because it is comfortable or we are scared to venture out into the world of dating. It has definitely changed over the course of the last decade.
Online dating is the new fad because with hectic schedules nobody has time to go out as much and people are less and less interested in finding a partner in a bar. Date before you decide to commit. Get to know someone before you even venture out. Always meet in a public place. There is nothing wrong with dating other people or talking to other people if you so choose, but let the person know you are doing so. Nobody wants to believe they have your full attention when they do not. Honesty is always best. All these little things will lead you to finding that right person in time. It is all about timing as well.
Be aware of the warning signs, go with the flow, slow your roll, be willing, be accepting, be open, don’t write someone off too quickly, give them a chance, and let the game come to you. Don’t look or try so hard because it usually has a negative outcome. You need to know exactly what you want and are looking for going in. Maybe…just maybe, Mr. or Mrs. Right will show up right in front of you when you least expect it. Those are usually the best love stories.
Dana Jacoviello is a writer, psychology student, student affiliate of APA and NYSPA. Dana is also a motivational mentor and coach, with a strong interest in networking and social media, healing, yoga and meditation. Dana is also a contributor to OM Times Magazine. Please join Dana on her latest anti- bullying campaign/project www.bullieskeepout.com
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