One of the most gratifying aspects of my work as a spiritual psychotherapist is guiding couples to optimize joy and laughter in their relationships. When our mind is decluttered, the joy of our Spirit arises naturally, effortlessly. In Feng Shui, the Fire Element rules relationships and it’s no surprise that joy is at the heart of the Fire Element. Think about what attracted you initially to your beloved. Chances are, they exuded a happy vibe that you found very attractive. In nature, we are drawn in when we see beautiful roses in bloom. Same with us…when our energy is all fired up, it is equally alluring.
There are simple, powerful practices that couples can use to rekindle the flame in their relationship. Let’s take a look at the top three that my clients absolutely love. For starters, you’re going to want to stay in the present. A common pattern that I see is that people get stuck in the past. Reviewing what happened endlessly, without moving forward into the present, drains the mojo right out of a relationship. Savor the happy memories, learn from the times you struggled together, and move on. You can plan for the future as you wish, but keep the focus of your awareness on the present moment. Life happens in the present. That’s where the aliveness is.
Adopt a “no blame” policy. I like to tell my couples, one of the most destructive, complete time and energy wastes is blaming each other. It’s so easy to do when we’re feeling hurt, disappointed and angry. It’s definitely what your cluttered mind wants you to do. When you rise above that old pattern of blame, you break through the stagnant energy and get back into the flow. Do speak your truth – another aspect of the Fire Element – but do so using “I messages”… own your feelings and ask for what you want, but release the pull to blame.
The last essential key is forgiveness. Talk things through, resist the urge to blame each other, and choose a stance of forgiveness. Trust that you’re both doing the best you can. When we know better, we do better. Offering forgiveness allows you to stay in the present with an open heart (the heart is the organ that is associated with the Fire Element). When you forgive one another, you become the vehicle for healing to take place, in yourself as well as your beloved.
I love applying Feng Shui principles to relationships. It’s a great way to practice staying centered and balanced. That positions us to live in the flow of life. And, when we live in the flow, guess what? All things are possible.
JILL LEBEAU, MFT is a spiritual psychotherapist and co-author of the ground-breaking book, Feng Shui Your Mind--Four Easy Steps To Rapidly Transform Your Life! A master Relationship Therapist with 28 years of clinical experience, Jill is passionate about teaching people simple, practical and powerful ways they can create abundance through ease. As a visionary in her work, Jill has been featured in the San Francisco Chronicle and other Bay Area newspapers. Along with seeing clients in her Albany, California office, she provides phone sessions coast to coast, and loves assisting people to rapidly transform their life through raising their vibration, laughter and joy.
You can find out more about Jill by visiting the following websites.