How do you know if you are in love?
1. It feels easy.
So often we get into a relationship for the wrong reasons and invariably there are constant questions or considerations that arise. Am I really attracted to them? Do I want to be "off the market" right now? Do I really want to introduce this person to my family and friends? Does he or she make enough money? We think and say things like, "We're getting older, after all, we have to think of the future." Is this person more trouble than they are worth? Can I live with this or that aspect of their personalities? When you are in love, there are no contingencies, only mutual respect.
In love, these questions don't cross our minds, at least not enough to deter us from the person's company. There is a feeling of unity with him or her, that any obstacles can be overcome and that trust is possible, even for those of us that have trouble trusting others. You seem to simply flow with each other's energy, and don't question the other's devotion to you. In short, you feel joy!
2. You are wildly attracted to the person.
I'm not talking about superficial attraction, being attracted simply on merit of the person's beauty, I'm talking about a feeling of wanting to connect with the person so fully, that physical contact is electric! The yearning to simply touch the person's hand, or be in their company provokes a "lust" in you the likes that you have rarely, if ever, felt with another person. It's an energy that you feel whether the person looks like what they consider to be their worst, or is dressed to the nines!
3. You can communicate effortlessly.
There is a type of communication that happens when you feel that what you say is felt, not just heard, by the other person and that they want nothing more than to know you, understand you and support you in everything you do. You can sense and feel their respect for you and admiration for who you truly are, mind, body and soul and that there is no judgement, no secrecy and a desire to make the other person feel safe and loved.
4. You are not afraid.
When you are in love, you don't fear unfavorable outcomes. You are positive! You are not wrought with feelings of pessimism or doubt, you don't struggle to make the pieces come together, you don't feel that you may be hurt by the other. This does not mean that you do not have a realistic view of life, or do not know that things happen that change the course of our paths, but simply that this feeling does not consume you, or make it difficult to carry on with the relationship without fear.
5. There is no sense of urgency.
Often when we think we have found the one, we are hurriedly preparing to build a life immediately so that the relationship doesn't "go away" or find another voice. When we are in love we are not overwhelmed with feelings of consummation, or to marry or live together immediately in lieu of all the things that should happen prior to that which will make the foundation of permanency all the more valuable, earned and precious.
We are not in a rush to marry because society dictates that we should, or to possess the person publicly so they won't veer from us. We do not fear that if we wait, they will find another, or discover they have made a "mistake" with the relationship. When we quietly and methodically prepare for a life with a person that we love, the urgency should be only the constancy of being in the energy of the other as much as possible, and it is important to be honest with oneself about the reasons why the need to co exist in the same space literally or energetically as opposed to waiting until certain goals have been met to make the situation more pleasant and strategically simpler are present.
Energy expands infinitely and the love connection is not dependent on location, or any other worldly superficiality that society deems indicative of it's truth. When we love, we do so without expectation and take the feeling a moment at a time, trusting that if it is part of our extended path, it will find it's way, the universe will help to push it along in the very direction it needs to go to find it's unified voice.
When we love, we want to change the world with that person, to use that energy to be joyful and to exhibit the values of humanity that so often are diminished by strife. A connected love will do just that. Love can find us in the most unique of situations or it can reinvent itself with a person years after the first coupling if the timing was off, but is now ready to bloom. Love can come at any time, with anyone and when we narrow our search to convention, we deny the world a chance to prosper from our love energy. When we kid ourselves about the importance of true and virtuous love, we deny the universe the very things that it strives to increase. Peace and love.
To be truly in love is:
To hear music when there is none playing
To see beauty when your eyes are not open
To feel warmth when the sun is not shining
To taste sweetness when there's nothing to consume
To smell flowers where there is no garden
To be grateful for the sake of simply doing so
Love invades the senses. It helps us to see ourselves through God's eyes. And we will know when it happens because we will love ourselves more. Love brings out the best of ourselves. It helps us to feel strength and makes us want to share ourselves in vulnerability with the universe. So if we have to wait, so be it. Isn't all that wonderfully worth it?
Don't settle for less than love.