Get Rid of Parental Guilt Once and for All
Do you know ANY parents that don’t struggle with guilt? At least some of the time? Do you know anyone who has children that at some point didn’t feel just a twinge of guilt at something they did or didn’t do, or because they couldn’t give their children everything they thought they should? Don’t we hear people saying all the time, “Oh my God, I am the WORST parent ever?!”
In some way, at some time, it happens to all of us.
Guilt is rampant in our society, but contrary to popular belief, it’s not fuelling change – it’s taking us further away from our Divinity. But, more on that later.
First, WHY do we feel so guilty?
We feel guilty for working outside the home. We feel guilty for not working outside the home. We feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. We feel guilty for not spending enough quality time with our kids. We feel guilty for yelling. We feel guilty for not packing nutritious enough lunches. We feel guilty for not scheduling enough play dates. We feel guilty ALL the time.
That’s the surface why. But the real why is underneath, lurking and waiting patiently (or not so patiently) to be healed.
We feel guilty – ultimately - because we feel not good enough.
We feel guilty because we think we don’t measure up – to our parents, or to the parents next door, or to the parents at school, or to the parents we want to be.
We feel guilty because we’ve bought into a story that tells us we should be more and do more - not only for ourselves but for our kids too. We feel guilty because we think that if we can’t give our children everything, they’ll be nothing. We feel guilty because we aren’t “perfect”, and society tells us we should be.
But that’s just another story, and we can stop buying into it any time we want to.
Letting to of the story is so simple, but it’s also oh so hard. It can be a process to get your worthiness back, but it’s worth it. To get started, here are some steps you can follow to stop guilt in its tracks, and get you back on track to being the best parent you can be.
3. Address that (not so) loving feeling.
4. Thank the guilt. It has shown up in your life to provide you an opportunity to heal.
Love it and then leave it.
“Bad” feelings always provide us an opportunity to see where and how we are denying our Divinity. Anytime we feel that we are not good enough, we deny that from which we came. In that way, guilt is a gift. It gives us an opportunity to remember that we are good enough, just because we are here.
So, the next time you face parental guilt, try to remember that you have a choice. You can choose to go forward in the knowledge that your best is all part of the bigger Plan – for you and your kids, and you can let the guilt go with thanks.
Sonia Voldseth is a certified life coach, blogger, speaker, and mother to two amazing children – her greatest (and most relentless) spiritual teachers. She thrives most when she helps people remember their own innate wisdom and love for themselves. She lives in Queenstown, New Zealand, and works locally and globally. Find her at www.revolutionarylifecoaching.co.nz