Do you ever feel exhausted and drained after spending time with another? Do you willingly give others your energy, in the hope that he or she will feel uplifted and more positive? Do you need to be in a relationship with another in order to feel alive and energized? 

In most of our relationships we give and receive energy. It is natural and normal. Yet, if you rely on another’s life force energy or if another is dependent on your energy to feel healthy, alive and complete, you may be in a energy codependent relationship. It is natural to want to bond completely with those we love. Yet, when we depend on others as our primary energy source, we cripple our spirit and energetically suffocate those we care about.  

Energy codependence usually begins in childhood. If our innate connection with source energy and the truth that we are whole and pure loving beings is not integrated into our sense of self, we learn to satisfy our energy needs in unhealthy ways. Unfortunately, most of us are taught to love from a material perspective. We are told through the unconscious paradigm of the world that we must compete for love and abundance. We learn to live in a state of compromise, believing that we must repress our empowered spirit  and our authentic self in order to excel in the competitive world of school, sports and as we get older in our social and economic environment . When we continually look outside of ourselves and to the material world  to tell us who we are, we create an inner void and emptiness.

Energy codependence creates a number of energetic and psychic disturbances.  When you are not connected to vital life source energy, you wither like a branch cut from a tree. Your energy field becomes weak and repressed, which may cause you to unconsciously attempt to draw energy from others or your environment. We use the term psychic vampire to describe a person who seeks energy from outside of themselves in order to feel strong, alive, and healthy. Yet, attaching to another’s energy field in a desire to feel whole is never satisfying for long.  This is, at best, a temporary fix and one that keeps you constantly dependent. 

On the other end is the person who allows others to draw energy from him or her.  This unconscious pattern, too, most likely develops in childhood.  It can occur when parents look to their children for their own sense of purpose and fulfillment. The child grows up to expect, and allows, others to draw energy from him.  As adults, these children are usually tired, depleted, and may avoid the company of others so as to keep from feeling drained or even ill.  

Being continuously merged with another’s energy field creates confusion, inner chaos, stress, negativity and anxiety. Your authentic sense of self is muddled and you take on other’s likes and dislikes and personality traits. When your body constantly receives the energy of others, you may take on another’s aches and pains and stress. You may also become overwhelmed with the energy of your environment, unknowingly soaking in toxins and negativity. To protect yourself, you may avoid intimacy and vulnerability. This avoidance itself can lead to depression and increased loneliness. 

Symptoms of Energy Codependence

If you experience many of the following symptoms you are likely an energy co-dependent. 

Lack of awareness of your authentic self or personal truth

Chronic tiredness

Needing to be Relationship to feel whole and complete


No awareness of your intuition 

Lack of boundaries or rigid boundaries with others

Avoiding others, even family and friends

Belief that others need your energy 

Fear of the unknown

Allow others to deplete you

Feelings of powerlessness

Unable to make positive changes in your life

Belief that your contributions to life are trivial  

Must give others what they want, anything less is not loving. 

Feelings of being special or more worthy of a higher power’s love and intersession

Belief that your spirituality or intuitive gifts make you special 

Desire to use spirituality or intuitive gifts to gain control or power over others

Not sharing your authentic self with those closest to you

Need relationships to feel energized

Power is felt as control, manipulation or force

Your Energetic Source

A healthy energy field is open, translucent and continuously nurtured by a flowing circuit of vital energy.  Like a plant that seeks life from the sun and rain, our spirit relies upon its connection with a potent source of  life force energy.  

          Throughout time vital, life-giving energy, has been referred to by such names as the etheric energy, universal life force, quantum energy, the Great Spirit, essence, the Holy Spirt and the Light.  In Sanskrit, this fundamental and essential energy is called prana.  In Chinese medicine it is referred to as qi or chi’i.   In most ancient systems of healing, this energy is believed to be essential for health and well-being.  Not only is your body nurtured by this high vibration of energy, but your energy field is as well. Everyone has access to vital life source energy. It flows into your subtle energy field naturally and without effort.

If you feel that you are in an energy co-dependent relationship you can heal, come into energetic harmony and share true joy and love. To begin focus on your connection to vital life source energy. As you become whole, your relationships will come into balance or fall away. Some form of meditation practice is essential for healing the energy field. 

Here is a simple healing meditation that will realign you with pure life force energy. 

Get comfortable, close your eyes and meditate on your breath.  Make the intent to breathe in high vibration source energy and send it through your entire body. Visualize an orb of translucent light completely surrounding you. Continue to breathe high vibration energy down through the top of the head and send it through the body. Imagine your body filling with this energy. Allow this energy to expand from the body and fill the orb of translucent energy that surrounds you. Continue to breathe in this way and allow source energy to revitalize your mind, body and spirit.

When your energy field is fully functional you are less likely to form unhealthy energetic alliances. The energy field, bolstered by vital energy, naturally repels all that is not in similar, positive unison with it. You have no need to attach to others, and therefore, you are more able to make positive and affirming relationship choices. When you make the decision to attune to heightened levels of energy, energy codependence can be healed.  

Sherrie Dillard

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Comment by Sherrie Dillard on October 9, 2014 at 12:54pm
Thanks so much xo
Comment by Trevor Taylor on October 9, 2014 at 6:49am

Thank you Sherrie - Recommended to the publishers for inclusion in one of the forthcoming multi media editions of OM Times

OM Times Magazine is a Holistic Green eZine with a Spiritual Self-growth Perspective for the Conscious Community.



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