Holding Space For Others To Become Their Best Selves

Do you find yourself faced with a situation in which a friend or loved one is struggling with some sort of emotional ‘crisis’ that you intuitively sense isn’t really of the proportions they would have you believe at all?  

There are certain situations and relationships in which it is clear that the REAL difficulty the other person is having is that they have lost sight of their intrinsic beauty, value, potential and truth.

To be very clear, the ideas put forward in this article are not a response to loved ones who are trying to navigate a severe life trauma at a time when sorrow and grief might be an integral part of their healing.

This article speaks instead to the observation of loved ones going about the everyday business of life and in whom you can identify a much more capable, self-assured and resourceful aspect of themselves.  This article aims to show you how you can be a potent catalyst for life-change by silently inviting others into a more expanded experience and understanding of their TRUE selves.

So Let’s Begin!

Whenever we encounter or observe someone who is angry, frustrated or unhappy, it is human nature to want to help the other person, heal them and take away their pain.

It is important to be aware that empathy and compassion are emotions that create complex energetic dynamics between the person who appears to be in need of healing and the person who feels like they can’t simply stand by and not assist or intervene in some way.

For example, have you ever seen a family member or friend chronically ‘stuck in their pain’ - upset, lost, devoid of self-confidence and hope for the future – and felt so much empathy and compassion that you found vast amounts of your inner resources going towards holding an energetic ‘safe space’ for them – not just during but also outside of their physical time and exchanges with you?  

This is actually what happens in the unseen realm.  You can think of this type of safe space as an actual energy space, not unlike a bubble that surrounds your loved one and which you unwittingly fill with the tender healing vibrations of love, empathy and compassion that flow so freely and naturally from your heart.  It is a perfectly natural, human response to seeing another person in pain.

A little known fact however, is that as much as this hidden dynamic of unspoken empathy and support provides your loved one with temporary relief and a sense of being ‘held’, in certain instances it can actually do more to affirm your loved one’s pain and feeling of disempowerment than it does to help activate their innate healing potential and ability to improve their own lives.

If you are sensing that there is a situation like this in your life right now, there is a more conscious means you can employ to raise that person up to their highest potential for experiencing alignment, contentment, self- love and inner peace!

To consciously support your loved one during a trying time in a way that honours their fundamental nature as a magnificent, powerful, capable, resourceful and creative Spirit, is one of the most profound and enduring legacies you can create.

It is a part of the normal everyday ebb and flow of life that from time to time, something unexpected or uncontrollable will happen and completely independent of our level of spiritual level of development, we feel like the rug has been pulled.  

We can go through rough patches that can be triggered by any of a myriad of things.  Lovers and jobs come and go, we make ‘bad’ choices about our diet, futures, investments and health.  We come upon rejection or criticism or feel victims of our past.  It is an inescapable truth that the journey of life happens and unfolds in this way as a means of bringing us closer to our truth - to the inner knowing at our core.  

When we feel that life is holding our happiness to ransom, as difficult as it can be to admit, there is a certain amount of satisfaction - comfort even – that is gained when we allow ourselves to become immersed in the vibration of feeling the victim, powerless and sorry for ourselves.  In fact, this is a normal and perhaps even sometimes necessary reaction to/reprieve from life change.  

What we must remember however is that within ourselves, at our most fundamental level, during trying times, we remain unchanged.  

There comes a definite point where immersing ourselves in our sorrow becomes an excuse that holds us back from stepping into our full radiance and potential.  

It cleverly disassociates us from our FEAR of stepping into the unknown where we have no choice but to rely on our intuition, instincts and inner knowing to guide the way.  

This is as true for us as individuals as it is for our loved ones on their own spiritual path.

This is the point at which the notion of holding the space for our loved ones to gain a more expanded sense of themselves takes centre stage.

And so after, you’ve held them closely with empathy, compassion and love and still see them unchanged and stuck, how do you then hold space differently and in such a way that your loved one can become their Best Self?

The answer is inherently simple but in practical terms might require some getting used to because it possibly goes against how you were taught a responsible family member or friend ought to show empathy, compassion and support.

In order to hold a space in which others can become their Best Selves, you need to literally and consistently SEE AND SPEAK with love and compassion to their Best Self that sits untouched within whatever inner turmoil or whirlwind they find themselves in.

Despite the broken relationship, failed business venture, misfortune, run of ‘bad luck’ or whatever situation that seems to have upset them, losing touch with this empowered aspect of themselves is what ultimately causes their sense of despair, struggle and grief.

It is in speaking to this higher aspect of their awareness that you are able to communicate with their intuition and co-creative abilities that work in tandem with universal laws.  It is this aspect of your loved one’s consciousness that once activated, allows their inner wisdom, resourcefulness and ability to self-heal to flow through their relationships with themselves and by extension the various ‘challenging’ situations in their lives.

So, if you’ve been trying to help a loved one through a difficult time but have been finding them to be somewhat stuck in their pain…

Hopefully you are beginning to see that there is a different way you can help and support your loved one.  A real, lasting and much more empowering way in which you hold a space for them not only to begin healing themselves but to come into a more conscious understanding of their inherent ability – and need – to create for themselves, in their own time, a happier, more meaningful, fulfilling and up-levelled experience of life.

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