How Losing Ourselves Can Help Us Reach Our Goals (3 Steps)

Abstract: (78 words) 

Who we believe we are is essential to us humans. We align all our thoughts, behaviors and actions with our identity. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a positive or negative character trait, we assume that’s just who we are. We try to do our best with what we’ve got. But where does this identity come from? Is it possible that we consciously need to redesign parts of ourselves in order to live our fullest and happiest life?


Article: (802 words)

In the Netflix series “Limitless” a struggling musician with a big heart turns FBI consultant. His trick is a pill called ‘NZT’ that gives him access to 100% of his brain function and morphs him into a crime-solving genius. 

He’s finally the version of himself that he’s always wanted to be. He’s living his full potential. But he has an identity crisis - the more NZT he takes, the more it feels as if he’s losing himself. That’s when Bradley Cooper’s character asks him: “Why do you want to hold on to your old self before NZT so badly?”

The self, our self, are we defining it inaccurately? Why do we hold on to who we were yesterday? Our current self rarely has the needed character traits to reach our big goals in life. So, here’s what to do in order to make losing ourselves and designing a new version of us easier.

Conditioning vs. Design

First, we need to understand that all information about our identity is safely stored in the 90% of our identity that we have little conscious control over - our subconscious mind.


All of our life’s experiences have become part of our identity. We’ve been conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, society and life. We’ve also been exposed to situations that felt good or not good at all and we’ve drawn our conclusions. We’ve also made decisions on how we will survive. Even seemingly small incidents from an adult point of view, can cause us as a child to create a coping mechanism that is limiting our self-expression. 

Scientists say we’re operating in theta brainwave until the age of 7. Theta is the frequency that allows deep programming and doesn’t put up any filter on what can enter our subconscious mind. This means we’re a sponge and whatever ideas are presented to us and whatever feelings are triggered, they stick with us through life.

What we believe is our carefully selected identity, is simply a more or less random selection of conditioned beliefs and programs. This means that we’re not created by design but we’re the sum of our life experiences and how we interpreted them.

Funny enough, one of the strongest human desires is to stay consistent with our identity. So, isn’t it worth it to lose ourselves and choose who we want to be?

Our Creator Self

We can choose to create a new identity because we are designed as creator beings.

But just like we can’t fill a full glass of water, we first need to uncreate the parts of us that no longer serve the accomplishment of our goals. 

It’s not that anything is wrong with who we are. This is about becoming the most powerful version of ourselves. We also don’t have to worry that we’ll become someone we don’t like - our values will persist. After all, we are consciously creating a new version of ourselves.



1. Our current identity: We need to be honest with ourselves and write down the behaviors we don’t like about ourself. Do we procrastinate too much, don’t eat right or get angry too fast? It may even help to look at us from the view of a third person. What would they say about us? Different people will know different aspects of us so let’s look at ourselves from different angles. Let’s complete the list by adding all the things that we may not fully enjoy about ourselves. Let’s mark the points that we’d like to uncreate with an X.

2. Our new identity: Let’s take a new piece of paper and write “[Our Name]’s Identity” on top and put it next to our first sheet. We’ll turn all the character traits that we’ve marked for ‘uncreation’ into empowering character traits and write them down on the new sheet of paper. It’s worth it to note down all the details from our fashion style, where we live, our lifestyle all the way to how we behave and feel each day.

3. Making it stick: Writing this down won’t make any difference unless we act on it. If we’ve done this right, then most of the points on our “New Identity” list are far out of our comfort zone. That’s great! Our task now is to do things we would usually not do. We need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. We can experiment with creating something like a vision board to remind us why we’re recreating ourselves. Or we can create affirmations to imprint our new beliefs on our subconscious mind. But nothing will work unless we uncreate our old identity by taking new action.


It may be scary to think that we lose the person who we believe we are. But isn’t it worth it when the outcome will be a life by design?




Sharon Kirstin is a Bestselling Author, Success Coach & Energy Consultant.

She built the Web & Mobile Usability department for one of the world’s most successful startups ranking #5 in The Wall Street Journal’s “Billion Dollar Startup Club” 2014. 

During an out-of-body experience in the Himalayas, she received her message and mission: “You created this life. You can create differently.”
Now Sharon helps her clients understand their soul’s unique design and master its energy, talents, and power so they can take aligned action that will manifest a life of purpose, freedom, and abundance.

Free video training to find your soul purpose and ignite your spiritual powers:

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Comment by Sharon Kirstin on November 19, 2017 at 10:22am

Hi Lisa,
thanks for your comment.

I edited the first part to get rid of the "I". I wonder though why there are so many articles on Omtimes that speak in a you - and I-tone although the submission guidelines say 'we'-tone.

The article is 802 words, not counting the abstract (78 words). 

Comment by Lisa Shaw on November 19, 2017 at 9:53am

Hi, Sharon. Thanks for this article.  I am requesting a bit of editing as per the magazine's guidelines.  We don't publish first person articles, so the second paragraph would need an adjustment. Additionally, the magazine publish articles between 500 and 800 words, and this one is over 900. We also require a brief abstract at the beginning of the article. If you make the appropriate edits, Ill be glad to forward to the publishers for possible inclusion in an upcoming issue.

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