How the Heart-Centered Can Deal With Narcissism 723 words
Abstract: How does a heart-centred person deal with a narcissist? Here are a few key points to help manage our well-being when this personality disorder presents itself.
Heart-centred people have exceptional difficulty dealing with a narcissistic personality. That's because it's really hard to understand the mindset of a person that isn't coming from a space that is their heart, and our instinct is very clear about the matter. We know if a person is all about themselves.
There are plenty of people, public figure or not, that we can identify with as having a notably egotistical personality. We might need to consider though the possibility that this person is well guarded and choosing not to show emotion for the purpose of providing a strong presence. We don't know what that person is like in a personal setting. But if they are lacking the ability to have an emotional reaction, it is more likely that they have sociopathic tendencies.
What of those that we might have a closer connection to, Someone that we might work with, a friend, or even a family member? How are we supposed to deal with that in a way that is conducive to our ability to live in an open-hearted space, while protecting ourselves from the clutches of this type of person?
Understanding narcissism is a good start. Someone with this particular personality disorder can be at one of many different levels that range from some narcissistic traits to the extreme that makes it evident that they are suffering.
Narcissistic traits are acquired as a result of a mood disorder that was left unmanaged. The mood disorder is developed as a result of being traumatized and will present as chronic sadness or depression. Most often it is a result of how a person grew up, although that isn't to say that it can't have happened later in life. A person feels forced to become rebellious or adopt a continuous stream of anger, which explains how we can see the extreme difference from one person to another.
However, this doesn't happen right away. As a result of love existing with conditions, being devalued, or adopting a sense of worthlessness, a person will go through negotiating their feelings, and once they realize that it is too painful, they move into a space that doesn't allow for any further negotiation. It becomes all about protecting themselves. A narcissistic person can present in many ways. From a "Go Getter" that absolutely will not let anything get in their way and is a high achiever, to a person who is volatile and can become angry very quickly. Knowing more about what causes this prevalent personality disorder can allow some degree of empathy. However, that's not to say that we should let ourselves suffer as a result.
To engage a narcissistic person, regardless of whether or not they appear confident and full of life, can lead to an outcome that is far less than what we desire because of their need to serve themselves at all cost. They are not going to consider others first. So, it's important to have boundaries that we are willing to enforce. Those boundaries are what will protect us from harm, and if those boundaries are crossed, there must be a consequence.
We don't have to be afraid of narcissism, but we do have to care for our space. Stepping up and enforcing our boundaries can be difficult, but the potential results of not doing so can be extremely motivating.
Narcissism is about taking, not receiving. What we are willing to give from the space that is our heart is valuable and should be respected that way. Having it taken from us can leave feelings of shame, fear, and anger. All of which is not conducive to how we want to live, and as a result can cascade to all areas of our lives. To protect that we need to recognize what our core values are and stand by them.
Remember that we don't have to engage a person just because they crossed our path. There is nothing wrong with saying "This is not good for me." Keeping our personal space open to what is good for us will always fuel the better good.
Leigh Burton: Author, International Speaker, NLP Practitioner, Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Emotional Health Coach, Acceptance Commitment Therapist, an expert in letting go, and a lover of life.