How To Deal With Uncertainty And Insecurity In A Relationship

Abstract: Take a step toward a healthy relationship by changing your attitude. Even if you believe you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, insecurities can trigger doubt and create problems in your once healthy relationship. Whenever you are feeling insecure, make a list of your positive qualities. Relationship uncertainty is an unpleasant feeling to have when you're trying to pursue something serious with your partner. Work on Building Trust Trust is essential for a healthy relationship. But in order to build a healthy relationship, you need to do some personal reflection and find out what is truly bothering you. How Uncertainty Ruins Healthy Relationships When you are feeling uncertainty in your relationship it can create disharmony between you and your spouse.

Relationship uncertainty is an unpleasant feeling to have when you're trying to pursue something serious with your partner.

If you're feeling uncertain or insecure with your partner it could mean that you don't fully trust your spouse. It could also be a sign that you aren't sure where the relationship is going. Or it could mean nothing at all.

Insecurity can spring from past relationships or from seemingly nowhere at all. Even if you believe you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, insecurities can trigger doubt and create problems in your once healthy relationship.

If you've had a bad experience with your romantic entanglements in the past, it can make entering a new relationship an anxious experience.

How Uncertainty Ruins Healthy Relationships

When you are feeling uncertainty in your relationship it can create disharmony between you and your spouse.

To begin with, not knowing where your relationship is going creates a lack of accountability to your spouse. Can you trust that your partner is being faithful to you? If you were to lose your job, could you rely on your spouse to help carry the load?

Without knowing how your partner feels about you, it will be impossible to move forward in a serious relationship.

Having toxic thoughts about yourself and your relationship can also put a drain on your self-esteem. You may begin to blame yourself for any problems or doubts you are having regarding your relationship. This can create a downward spiral of depression.

Here are 7 ways you can keep uncertainty and insecurity from ruining a good thing.

  1. Communicate with your Spouse

Communication is the key to feeling comfortable in a relationship.

If something from your past is bothering you or making you feel insecure, talk to your spouse about it. They won't know how to move forward toward a healthy, happy partnership unless you tell them what is bothering you.

  1. Talk About Your Relationship Plan

If you are feeling uncertain about the future of your once healthy relationship, you need to sit down and talk to your spouse about how you are feeling. You do not have to make this a scary or nerve-wracking conversation.

Ask your partner how they feel about you. Follow up by sharing some of your favorite things about your relationship. Finally, ask your spouse where they see things going.

You can sit around worrying about your relationship or you can do something about how you're feeling. By talking to your partner you'll be able to clear up any misunderstandings about the future of your relationship.

This will help clear up any doubts you are having about whether your spouse wants to be with you long-term and how much they will involve you in their life plans.

  1. Stop Comparing Yourself or Your Partner

Comparison is the thief of joy. If you are jealous or insecure in nature, thinking about your spouse with their last partner can drive you bonkers. It can cause stress and anxiety to build and give you a self-esteem complex.

The best relationship advice when it comes to insecurity in relationships is to stop comparing. Your partner is with you because they love you and enjoy your company. They are not with their former lover. In fact, it's likely that the only time they ever think about their ex is when you bring them up.

People are different. If you continue to compare your current partner to your ex, you'll become miserable. Enjoy your partner for who they are, not who you wish they would be.

  1. Work on Building Trust

Trust is essential for a healthy relationship. Partners who trust one another experience less stress and anxiety in their lives because they don't have to worry about how they feel for one another.

One way you can work on building trust is by enhancing your physical intimacy with your spouse. Studies show that oxytocin increases trust between partners. This bonding agent is released during skin to skin contact with someone you love.

  1. Narrow Down What's Really Bothering You

Doubt and fear can make it difficult to ask yourself the questions you need to hear the answers to. But in order to build a healthy relationship, you need to do some personal reflection and find out what is truly bothering you.

Here are just some of the reasons why you're feeling uncertain about your romantic relationship.

  • You want to start a family but aren't sure how serious your partner is about marriage and settling down
  • You are being triggered by past romantic experiences
  • You feel uncertain about your relationship because your spouse does not treat you well
  • You have anxiety because you have realized you are not in love with your partner
  • You don't trust your spouse
  1. Be Independent

If you are focusing so intensely on your relationship that you're making yourself feel insecure or anxious, it's time to change your focus. The best relationship advice you can follow is to maintaining hobbies and friendships away from your spouse. Doing so will help you foster a healthy independence.

Spending time away from your partner can help you feel like a well-rounded person. This independence is an attractive quality that will be good for your relationship and your mental health.

  1. Change Your Attitude

Who doesn't enjoy hearing how special, attractive, and worthy they are? Reassurance is lovely to hear but relying on constant reassurance from your spouse in order to feel comfortable in your relationship can be exhausting for both parties.

Take a step toward a healthy relationship by changing your attitude. Whenever you are feeling insecure, make a list of your positive qualities. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and admiration from a partner.

The best relationship advice you can follow to avoid uncertainty and insecurity in your relationship? Learn to enjoy your partner and the time you have together and strive to keep communication lines open. Doing so will keep you and your spouse on the same page about your relationship.

Author bio: Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

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Comment by Syliva Smith on August 10, 2018 at 2:27am

Done!

Comment by Leigh Burton on August 9, 2018 at 7:54am

Fantastic write!  Here is some advice to consider for having your work published in the magazine.  

1.  Write in the third person.

2. Start your piece with an abstract and word count

3. Add a bio at the end, about 60 words with a link to your website.

I look forward to reading more from you :)

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