I was dedicated to being a healthy slim inspirational role model, I exercised regularly and ate carefully to maintain my role model status.
As I exercised, my body adapted to the exertions and it took increasingly more and more effort to maintain my body weight. I also found that the more I increased my workload, the hungrier I got (ravenously!)
I felt I was on a hamster wheel, perpetually spinning. I stopped exercising and the hunger stopped too.
I stopped believing in exercise! Just for a moment, knowing I needed to keep muscles and bones strong… But it was taking too much time, effort and it was causing me anxt!
Calisthenics, free-weights and push ups set aside,
I ventured back into yoga.
What I discovered was, I lost so much of my natural flexibility from years of hard core exercise and began the long patient work of winning my flexibility back.
While practicing yoga, I began to relax more. With the conscious effort of using my breathing to monitor my effort level, I moved slower with more internal awareness, quieter, I discovered an inner stillness. I felt my whole being shift into a deeper, more peaceful state. I began to feel contentment, ease, and even grace, which translated into everyday activities.
As I lengthened and breathed while harmoniously uniting body, mind and spirit as a holistic system, synergistically working in union I became more coordinated and agile.
As a person I became less defensive and more present. My voracious hunger completely disappeared as well as my habit of going to food to calm myself or make me feel better or placate a hunger unrelated to food.
Instead I just breathed, relaxed, yawned and stretched.
The weight simply melted away. I was slimmer, calmer, more peaceful and relaxed than I had ever been.
I let go of the need to be perfect. I didn’t have to be like those air-brushed models on the cover of magazines or those movie stars making millions for starving while they’re on camera. I discovered I was imperfectly perfect with a little fat around my belly and it was perfect.
No more spinning my wheels, racing time and calories, my time is much more productive happy and at peace with who I am…perfect in all my imperfections.
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