In Each Other All Along
by: Shannon Coleman
"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” ~Jalal ad-Din Rumi~
When I heard this poem for the first time, I immediately fell in love with it for the romantic love it expressed. Having met my soul's mate, in the way that I did, it spoke very deeply as truth. However, today I have a much deeper and complete understanding of this truth. In Deepak Chopra's book, The Path to Love, he says, “All relationships are ultimately a relationship with God.” He explains that seeking a lover is really seeking for the love that already exists in you; that all seeking for love is
actually a seeking to love Self.
I embarked on this journey of self discovery several years ago, after meeting my husband, my soulmate. I never guessed in the beginning that the love I was seeking was Self-love. Now that this seeking has come full circle and back to myself, the experience of this truth has become quite an amazing process. Think about Rumi's message: that lovers don't finally meet somewhere and that they're in each other all along. What does this really mean? We are destined to meet the lovers in our life, who teach us what we need to uncover about ourselves, to be our mirrors for our own personal growth. But they are in us all along, because they ARE us! Self, lover, other, God -- all the same love, love seeking itself in the form of other. The swelling of love in your heart center is not the swelling of love for another seemingly separate individual; it is the swelling of love for Self, for God, inseparable. It is the swelling of desire to know oneSelf as such, to remember oneSelf as such -- as love, as Oneness.
Deepak Chopra also says in The Path to Love, “When you truly find love, you find yourself.” The key word here is “truly”. You need to be willing and courageous enough to use the difficulties in your relationship as a tool to turn inward and see what you need to look at deeply, no matter how painful. If you become aware enough to see what your relationship has to offer, you will find that the one you’ve been looking for all along, is in fact yourSelf. When two people are willing to cultivate this kind of love, this kind of commitment, to helping each other reveal Self, there is nothing that can destroy this kind of love, except for fear. So fear not, do not run from Self; do not run from that which is painful or fearful; that which is painful is the key to unlock the door. Your fear contains a heavenly gift for you. Have courage, faith and trust, and use relationship to find that which in you needs light, needs healing, needs attention. Be attentive, vulnerable; be defenseless, weak, and you shall find your strength. “Your darkness is your candle, your boundaries are your quest.” ~Rumi~ The darkness stored deep inside you as memories, is begging for you to shine a light upon it. When you do, you will find that it is not darkness at all. It is love waiting to be discovered, waiting to blossom and to show you the way back home to yourSelf, to God. Then pain is transformed into bliss and into love; fear is transformed into courage and into trust. Your love relationship is your portal to awakening from the illusion of lack and limitation, each one of you planting seeds within each other. If watered and tended to with awareness and loving kindness, it will sprout from the ground and one day show you who you really are, that you are Love itself.