Is Higher Ego Flexibility Damaging Your Relationships?


Ego Flexibility impacts the amount of access we give others to impact our mind with their thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, values and so on. People with Higher Ego Flexibility provide lots of access and want others to think for them, believing the truth resides in others. We can often live in the role of “Child”, “Cultist”, “Loyalist” or “Puppet” within relationships. This weakens relationships, particularly with family and friends, as we become lost in the truth of others while neglecting our own—human and spiritual.


Is Higher Ego Flexibility Damaging Your Relationships?

Ego Flexibility impacts the amount of access we give others to impact our mind with their thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, values and so on. This impact can affect our thoughts, feelings, behaviors and even physiology—for better or worse. For those of us with Higher Ego Flexibility, we show much more respect for the thoughts, beliefs and feelings of others and much less respect for our own. People can easily change our mind, even about important things. Often, we seek the truth we believe to exist in others while failing to look within to find our own truth—human and spiritual. There is a hollow quality to our relationships in which we follow the lead of others, often blindly. Those with whom we are involved can sense this intuitively, if not consciously, which contributes to a reduced level of respect for us. Unfortunately, this increases the potential for our being manipulated, exploited, or abused by others, who do not have our best interests at heart. We often come under their “thought control” and have difficulty defending and asserting our own thoughts. The following presents the messages ego is telling those of us with higher ego flexibility, keeping us stuck in this energy. Messages we are listening to quite well but don’t realize, impacting our humanity and spirituality.


Ego’s Messages to Us

The ego wants us to believe what others believe, think what they need us to think, and know the truth resides in others, from whom we must learn it. It tells us we must always question ourselves and never question others. We are to seek the truth in others which cannot be found in ourselves, ego wants us to believe. According to ego, their truth must become our truth as they possess greater ideas, knowledge, and beliefs which will not fail us. Ego says, we can only fail by questioning others, which would endanger us and threaten our survival—daily and mortal. We are told by ego to stand firmly on their foundation and not our own, as theirs is built of stone, and ours of sand. Ego says we are lost without their truth and can only know ourselves through them. Reside in the safety of their thoughts, and let them define us and everything, ego tells us. These are to be our guides for how to best know, live, and survive in this world, according to ego. Ego says we are safest when living in the world others have shown us and must lose ourselves in it in order to survive well.

The ego tells us to listen weakly to ourselves and be suspicious of our own thoughts. Telling us not to explore what may be new, different, or unfamiliar in our thoughts. It tells us to keep such thoughts at a distance, as the truth does not reside within us. According to ego, we are to listen intensely to those who are closest to us in order to gain their wisdom. To find only truth in their thoughts and words, and not to question them, as this would lead us astray and into darkness. Ego says our close relationships will survive best when we become most like others, least like ourselves, and find ourselves in our partner or other close loved ones. According to ego, this is when we love ourselves and others the most.

When necessary, ego wants us to help other “lost” people who are toiling in darkness to find their truth in those we must follow. Ego tells us to help them to see the light that others are showing us, serving to enlighten them on any and all earthly matters. Our leader’s light shines brightest and others will feel safest when they also know this light, ego says. It also tells us we must view the strong convictions of the leader as a reflection of the truth upon which we can all stand and validates the truth for ourselves and others. Ego says, those with weaker conviction are only standing upon faulty thinking and beliefs and that we must not listen to them.

If the content from this article resonates for you, or someone you know, you can read further in the offerings listed below to learn more about ways to recognize and heal this ego energy.

Dr. Nickolas Martin is a licensed psychologist who has worked as a therapist, diagnostician, educator and consultant for 38 years. He authored Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self and co-authored with Rev. Linda M. Martin, EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life.


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