Is Higher Ego Flexibility Damaging Your Relationships?

Ego Flexibility impacts the amount of access we give others to impact our mind with their thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, values and so on. People with Higher Ego Flexibility provide lots of access and want others to think for them, believing the truth resides in others. We can often live in the role of “Child”, “Cultist”, “Loyalist” or “Puppet” within relationships. This weakens relationships, particularly with family and friends, as we become lost in the truth of others while neglecting our own—human and spiritual.

Is Higher Ego Flexibility Damaging Your Relationships?

Ego Flexibility impacts the amount of access we give others to impact our mind with their thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, values and so on. This impact can affect our thoughts, feelings, behaviors and even physiology—for better or worse.

Those of us with Higher Ego Flexibility show much more respect for the thoughts, beliefs and feelings of others and much less respect for our own. People can easily change our mind, even about important things. Often, we seek the truth we believe to exist in others while failing to look within to find our truth, human and spiritual.

There is a hollow quality to our relationships in which we follow the lead of others, often blindly. Those with whom we are involved can sense this intuitively, if not consciously, which contributes to a reduced level of respect for us. Unfortunately, this increases the potential for manipulation, exploitation, or abuse by others who do not have our best interests at heart.

We often come under their “thought control” and have difficulty defending and asserting our own thoughts. The following presents the messages that ego tells those of us with higher ego flexibility, keeping us stuck in this energy. Messages that we listen to quite well but don’t realize, impacting our humanity and spirituality.

How Does The Ego Undermine Us?

The ego wants us to believe what others believe, think what they need us to think, and know the truth resides in others, from whom we must learn it. It tells us we must always question ourselves and never question others. We are to seek the truth in others which cannot be found in ourselves, ego wants us to believe.

According to ego, someone else's truth must become our truth because they are sure to possess greater ideas, knowledge, and beliefs which will not fail us. Ego says, we can only fail by questioning others, which would endanger us and threaten our survival—daily and mortal. The ego tells us to stand firmly on another's foundation and not our own, as theirs is built of stone, and ours of sand.

It makes us think we are lost without their truth, and can only know ourselves through them. Reside in the safety of their thoughts, and let that define us, and everything in life. The ego fools us into believing this approach will ensure our survival in the world by helping us to understand and navigate our surroundings. It implies we are safe in a world view that has been created for us, and that we must lose ourselves in that world view to survive in the physical world.

The Ego Plays Mind Games

The ego tells us to listen weakly to ourselves and be suspicious of our own thoughts. Telling us not to explore what may be new, different, or unfamiliar in our thoughts. It tells us to keep such thoughts at a distance, as the truth does not reside within us. Instead we listen to those closest to us in an attempt to gain their wisdom. That truth is in their words. If we question them, we risk going astray into darkness.

The ego tells us that our close relationships will survive when we mimic others, so that we find ourselves in our partner or other close loved ones. According to ego, this is when we love ourselves and others the most. When necessary, ego wants us to help “lost” people who are toiling in darkness to find their truth in those we must follow.

Ego tells us to help them to see the light that others are showing us, serving to enlighten them on any and all earthly matters. Our leader’s light shines brightest and others will feel safest when they also know this light, ego says. It also tells us we must view the strong convictions of the leader as a reflection of truth upon which we can all stand, which validates the truth for ourselves and others.Ego says, those with weaker conviction are only standing upon faulty thinking and beliefs and that we must not listen to them.

If the content from this article resonates for you, or someone you know, you can read further in the offerings listed below to learn more about ways to recognize and heal this ego energy.

Dr. Nickolas Martin is a licensed psychologist who has worked as a therapist, diagnostician, educator and consultant for 38 years. He authored Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self and co-authored with Rev. Linda M. Martin, EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life.

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