Is there a more intelligent way to date online?

With literally thousands of dating sites in existence these days, you would think it would be easier to find love online.  The Internet has shrunk the world. We can connect with anyone, anywhere in seconds, but does that make it harder to make a meaningful connection? Let’s face it. Everyone is busy, and the Internet is fast and always there. So are other people with whom to connect if you are looking for companionship and love. But how do you really know if those beautiful words in the profiles of the face you are looking at are really a reflection of that person or just well written paragraphs made to present what they think a potential mate wants to hear. Or, what if he or she isn’t the best writer, a person of few words, but a soul definitely worth getting to know better. How can you tell?


Well, employing some Facial Intelligence techniques could help. Modern day Facial Intelligence has grown out of Ancient Chinese Face Reading Techniques. Thousands of years ago in China, the features and patterns of markings and wrinkles on the face were observed and catalogued to create an accurate and remarkable system for understanding the habitual behaviours of others, their thought patterns, preferences, impact of life experiences, outlook on life and even their suitability as a mate. Now, although, here in the Western World these days, we don’t use Face Reading to facilitate “lucky matches,” we can certainly use the science of Facial Intelligence to get a sense of who someone really is on the inside by reading his or her face.


Often times, particularly in online dating, people are looking at faces; stopping on faces that, at first glance, are physically attractive to them and then continuing on to the written profile. There are clues in those faces, that if you could even just read one feature, could help you to understand that person on a much deeper level before you even talked (or texted, or IM’d or Skyped). In fact, instead of looking for what you always look for, you may begin to look at online (and even offline) dating differently, because by knowing the meaning of features, you can look for those qualities in a face to begin to discern your ideal mate.


Here are some examples. If you are a woman looking for a man who is kind and gentle, who is nurturing and communicates with warmth, then you would want to look for men with faces that were more round, men who have full lips and full cheeks, as a full mouth and roundedness in the face overall are signifiers of someone with a nurturing nature. Perhaps, in the past you’ve been physically attracted to chiseled features and a strong jaw in a man. This type of man would have a much harder time being nurturing. It just wouldn’t be innate for him. And maybe, that’s why, you haven’t found Mr. Right yet.


If you are a man looking for a woman who is athletic and adventurous, then you aren’t going to choose the woman whose face is round and fleshy. You’d be better off choosing the woman with a chiseled jaw and strong chin. She is going to want to climb mountains with you, not cook and clean for you.


If you want someone who is open to communicating and sharing, willing to spend hours in deep conversation with you, then you should look for someone with eyes that are shallow set and bright and open. People who hold their eyes more narrowly open are less likely to be comfortable conversationalists. They will need more time to share their deep feelings and in general will not be big talkers.


The challenge in dating is knowing what you are looking for. Get very clear on what qualities you want in a partner and then use tools like Facial Intelligence to know how to find that, or at least weed out your deal breakers. You must also be clear on who you are. Your own face tells you what your patterns truly are, not whom you think you are or are willing to become for another person. This is important to remember. People tend to think that the other person is just like them or that once they know what you need, they will love you enough to accommodate those needs. The reality is we can all only be who we are and there are innate patterns we display.


The face is the gift we give each other. The gift of showing others just who we are and how we want to be treated and even more importantly how we will treat them. When we use Facial Intelligence to see the person and the personality inside, we can truly begin to choose differently and maybe even more successfully.


A picture… of a face… especially in online dating, can be worth even more than a thousand words.


Michelle Butt is a Facial Intelligence Expert, a Certified Master Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, Master of Time Line Therapy, Certified Hypnotist and an Ordained Metaphysical Minister. She is also a contributing author to the book, Ready Aim Captivate, featuring Deepak Chopra.


She teaches Insightful Communication and Relationship Strategies using the face as the guide to knowing how to interact with others based on their needs and communication preferences. She helps clients use the face as a tool to truly understanding people’s patterns, behavioral preferences and needs to create success in all areas of their lives.


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Comment by Lisa Shaw on March 1, 2016 at 8:24am

Hi, Michelle. I forwarded this article to the publishers for possible inclusion in an upcoming issue.

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