Love…… the most basic and raw of emotions. Why do we complicate and become obsessed with you? From the moment we are born, we seek love in order to feel safe and secure in this World. We seek approval from our parents and others erroneously believing that if we please them we will be loved and accepted. We romanticize love! Poets, authors, artists paint a picture of love’s joys and tragedies. Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra..... lovers who would even die for love!
Love is defined in various ways by poets, philosophers, ministers, psychologists, and even sex therapists! It is said love is gentle, patient, blissful, divine, dramatic. Some believe it is pain and suffering, turning their backs on love fearing vulnerability and loss of control over their destiny. What, then, attracts us to people we meet and why?
Researchers say what attracts us to another are the endorphins released by the brain upon contact with a person, especially when having sex or some type of physical contact such as kissing, holding hands, touching someone’s cheek. We get a sense of well-being, comfort, peacefulness. Oxytocin, released during sex, is said to bond and maintain relationships. It creates emotional intimacy, which is why it is said the more sex, the greater the bond. When couples slow down their sex lives, intimacy and communication can be lost. Issues arise in the ability to maintain a peaceful relationship. Well....this may explain love from a physical aspect, but why is it there are times we meet a person and instantly feel they will play some major role in our life? We feel a “soul” connection, deep and profound.
Love is also an exchange of energy. It can be karmic. From an astrological standpoint, there are electromagnetic energies, vibrational frequencies that resonate between two people. In some cases this is for our better good. We find a fulfilling and satisfying relationship. In others, it may be for our growth, lessons to be learned. The relationship may be challenged, difficult, but serves to evolve the Soul. Understanding the energies in a composite/synastry chart between two lovers allows for an understanding of the relationship, what makes it harmonious, what makes it challenging. Through this understanding, we learn that we are not broken; it’s just a different language we can learn about one another creating a better flow of energy. All relationships serve a purpose.
Why are relationships so important? All things originate from ONE consciousness. People, nature, animals, life! At some point we realize the separation from ONE bringing a sense of insecurity, isolation, and yes….fear! Love and relationships make us feel a part of someone/something bringing us back to the soothing, comforting feeling we had when we were part of the ONE. In essence, two unite to become ONE again. But in order to achieve a fulfilling relationship, we must first reconnect to our ONENESS, loving and accepting the relationship with ourselves in order to love and accept another.
They say opposites attract. True. If there is a Sun/Moon opposition or Sun/Sun opposition (among other aspects) between two people, they are magnetically drawn to one another, unable to pull themselves away no matter WHAT transpires. The relationship can feel stressful. But taking a few steps back and deeply meditating/contemplating, one can see their own self-cherishing patterns and the source of conflict giving insight to the purpose it serves in their life, what is to be learned and discovered about themselves. Relationships are the mirrored reflection of ourselves.
This does not mean we do not leave toxic relationships or ones that have served their purpose. We do! We move forward. But there is always baggage we carry into our next relationship. Love then becomes complicated. We begin to color it with the hues of our insecurities, disappointments, and broken hearts. We become fearful and build walls of “stand back” energy for protection. It becomes difficult to trust and allow love to re-enter. How can something so wonderful, the creative force behind our births be recaptured?
Learning our love language and reestablishing relationship with our authentic self allows us to move on without bringing the “leftovers” from our previous relationships.
Dr. Gary Chapman writes in his book “The 5 Love Languages” that the strengthening and maintaining of love relationships is understanding ours and our partner’s love language, how we give and receive love. We all have our own unique expression of love, and it coincides with the Zodiac!
A Gemini recently took his quiz and their language was Words of Affirmation. Mercury, (communications, intellect, rationalizing people’s intentions and actions) rules Gemini making sense that it’s important to them to communicate love through words or the written word, hearing the reasons behind the love. It is giving/receiving love through kind, encouraging words of support and praise. Insults can be Earth-shattering!
A Virgo’s language is Acts of Service (Mercury). This translates to seeing and appreciating the intention of giving/receiving love through acts of service. Laziness can make them feel their emotions are not validated.
Venus, planet of love, in Taurus communicates love through Receiving Gifts. Venus is love, romance, the arts, the pleasures of life, and Taurus is about material possessions. It is not about being materialistic, but seeing the thoughtfulness behind the gesture. The effort made is seen as an act of love.
A Libran's results (Venus) were Quality Time, having a partner’s full undivided attention. Understandable since Libra needs to relate to others. Their secondary language was Acts of Service. Again, understandable since their Venus (Love) is in Virgo, the energy of service and duty.
So whether it’s the language of love or any other circumstance, everything reconnects to Universal energy…ONENESS, and we look to our relationships to return us to Source. But first…we must connect to ONENESS within ourselves and learn ours and our partner’s love language for a fulfilling and successful love relationship.
Debbie Peluso obtained her Bachelors degree from the University of Metaphysics in association with the University of Sedona in Arizona. She is a certified practitioner in Meditation and metaphysical/spiritual counseling. She is also a yoga instructor, working astrologer and co-owner of Zion Yoga Studio in the Washington, D.C. area. Debbie also instructs on the Kabbalistic Tree of Life.