Abstract.....How do we live as authentic beings, is it by running away or facing, by leaving or taking the courage to walk down the memory lanes and to feel that burning truth once again? Only this time, we go back in time as we allow ourselves to remember and see the pain eye to eye with a long look. From it, we rise as authentic beings in this life.
Someone crushed us very badly. Its one of those heartaches we don’t see coming but it comes anyway. Its one of those losses we don’t see happening, but it happens anyway. It’s one of those moments we never thought could strike, but it strikes anyway. We are in so much pain and we want more than to get rid of it. Yet the pain chases us to the wall. Even though our first instinct would be to run, yet the way out would be to feel everything and to feel it through and through. And if we run, it creates bigger issues, in the form of disease, anxiety or emotional stagnation. Ignoring our pain will make it so very worse over time. By staring at it right in the face, looking at it eye to eye can you find the joy, beauty and richness that comes with true freedom. Which one would be more desirable? To be in a forever run or to feel it through and eventually come out of it. So it helps to process the pain, release it and transmute it into love.
When an emotion comes on wither to create an unpleasantness or to hit you the worst possible way, allow yourself to feel it—whether its worthless or resentment, emptiness, shame or loneliness—feel it completely. To feel the emotions means to allow them to arise in the body and to let the sensations occur. If we allow ourselves to be present in those emotions and do not try to control them. Pain triggers many ancient wounds, that we had faced years and years back. Instead of being ashamed of any feelings that come up, allow yourself to just be in them as they do come. In the end, the love you have for yourself is bigger than the pain that you face. And though this self-love, a day will come when the pain will wash away on its own. No rush, no compulsion, it will happen effortlessly with the tidal wave of self- love. Through such a bigger calling of life and self- love will we feel the stronger rush to rise and emerge above whatever pain you are feeling. Repressing anger or surfacing emotions can cause a deep-seated suffering and it won’t help propel stuck energy out of our bodies. Deep breathing helps as you gradually inhale and exhale letting out the bitterness and welcoming life back into our body. While doing that we move through the stuck state and become unstuck. This movement becomes so very vital in helping ourselves move and this movement creates a flow within us in rhythm with life.
Listening to music, seeing healing arts, engaging our hands in healing creativity, writing our emotions out, hiking in the nature, wandering in the wilderness beneath the sky and gazing around, listening to the bird coo, and filling the heart with it—all these our body takes in slowly and breathes into your heart and one day, subconsciously, we are healed as the weight of the pain is lifted. It doesn’t mean that the memory will never exist, it just means the pain will no longer have its control over us and that it will not hinder our growth anymore. We will never feel pushed to the wall. Rather we begin to listen to the welcoming sounds of life that can bring a music in air, we can see the sights that you missed before and immerse in the true act of immersion so what we once thought almost killed us, now brings you alive. Life begins to flow through a thousand sounds, a thousand other sights. And its range is broadened, not narrowed when we let ourselves feel them. Through them we begin to feel life again. And a day comes when we authentically heal, in the sense that even if we do look back, the ancient wounds do not bite us so much. We heal with such movement as it helps energy flowing and such flow is essential to our state of mind.
Even though at the intense times of emotional pain, we tend to become stuck and like to be static and sit down in pain and agony, yet the needed thing is to engage in healing arts, walking so they make the agony move. Every movement helps to subside the pain and with gradual lessening, the healing begins to seep in. and you will see the difference, in how we feel and through what you feel, one day you will walk, into the spirit of life again. Life will reach out to us in a thousand ways, as we keep the eyes and ears open, hands and heart open, legs and feet walking. Through every movement, something of a primal beauty makes its way into your body so you no longer get petrified by agony. As it hits us, we can gradually feel our feet on the ground.
We human beings have a tendency towards denial, withdrawal and self-isolation and it pushes us towards silence. And such silence speaks volumes. We risk not hurting more as we think by being silent, we are skipping the pain as we are skipping the dialogues. And through such an attempt, we tend to become fidgety, hyper or restless. We attempt to distract ourselves as other’s actions have caused us hurt that is unbearable. The reason we disguise is because they are all fear induced. We tend to disguise our emotional fragility in fear that it would make us look so weak to the world around us, and we want to stand up as strong but are no longer feeling our own strength. So, we shut ourselves in silence. Hoping that the world does not see us weak and powerless. We believe if we are frank and honest out in the open about what we feel, then the world may perceive us as weak and from such a fear of losing our high held image, we push ourselves to a devouring silence that ultimately pushed us towards more and more silent suffering. As ultimately what we are headed to is a major downfall that takes us deeper and deeper into the tunnel. The fear consumes us inside leading us to think, that if we exhibit our emotional weakness, then we might lose our personal power or we are voluntarily handing it over to the world and in doing so, we are at their mercy.
We are concerned that revealing hurt feelings might make us look so fragile that we prefer not to exhibit any vulnerability to others. But what we keep inside ultimately kills us emotionally. We prefer not to look childish or pathetic, so we stay silent. We do not show emotional vulnerability, in a way to stay strong and stand strong to the world. What we fail to realize that staying strong only comes in when we give a chance to heal the wounded self, to give a voice to the repressed emotions, as through such a voice, do we get to stand again. The storm that once bent us down, we fight back to it not through masking, but unmasking in the light sent from heaven above, having Almighty as the witness. And when the time comes, we no longer have to exhibit anymore, as we rise in the authentic version of ourselves. From authenticity do we rise and reveal what is in us, not from the greatest disguise coming from a talented performance.
Jayita Bhattacharjee....born in Calcutta, India and later on education from University of Houston in Economics, she had chosen her career as a trustee and teacher.
Her books " The Ecstatic Dance of Soul",
" Sacred Sanctuary", " Light of Consciousness", " Dewdrops of Compassion" are among the many that she has authored.