Who Is Flipping Your Switch?
We are born to live our life by our own right. But we often give control of the switch that determines our moods and happiness to those we are attached to, causing us much suffering in the end. Happiness that is dependent on how another perceives us, however exciting, does not last. True happiness is a state of liberty from dependence on others. The root is in our expectations.
If we expect recognition and gratitude from others for what we did for them then we are heading for unhappiness. It is not in the nature of humans to be grateful. Happy people are those who find happiness in helping others and find joy in giving without the tag of expectations. Difficult? Well, isn't it painful to live with complaints and frustrations?
Are You Stuck in a Negative Groove?
Avoid words of complaining. Even if things are not up to our expectations, we need to try to create positive vibrations with our presence and good words. What is the use of complaining when we are here to add positive vibrations, and not to intensify the existing negative situations of life. Be the positive force. If we are seeking happiness, then we find that in living a life of few complaints and more appreciation. People avoid the company of those who are always complaining and love those who are positive and share the beauty of life!
One of the simple practices in the path to peace is to be very mindful about our natural tendency to find fault with others. This happens for each one us have our own tendencies, samskaras, and conditioning. It is only when we see something that contradicts our expectations that deep within we feel stress and fear. Reactions in most cases are instantaneous. But as we go through the pages of our own life story, we will discover that finding fault with others does not bring happy feelings to us, but rather it robs our heart's peace.
Free Yourself from the Bondage of Expectations
We often find endless ways to put others down in order to elevate ourselves in our own mind or in the minds of others. This comes from fear that others do not like or accept us as we are. Life is an ever-unfolding process toward a higher consciousness. It is lack of trust in the divine and in the power of the higher mind within that makes us so dependent on others for approval.
We mustn’t bother about who stays and who goes in our life. If they are ours, they will never leave, and if they are not ours, they will go far away! Live a life that is more sublime than the fragile bondage of expectations that is our prerequisites for peace and happiness. Don't cling. Just give, and in giving learn to earn joy. Or else, in this world of quick changes, we will really land up with lots of inner pains and regrets.
Your Safety Switch Is In Your Own Mind!
Why fear when we can substitute the unknown apprehension that no one cares for us (which mostly is proven wrong) with a firm conviction that “all is well in my life”. The safety switch is in our own mind and not in someone else’s hand! The safety switch is our trust in the understanding that life is a seamless process, one of continual growth that releases the unwanted and welcomes all blessings. This faith and trust helps us overcome all fears of life, the seeds of unhappiness. We are here to live the higher truth and share in the fearless process of unconditional love.
Love Is Freedom
Love is the ultimate beauty and grace of the divine essence. The moment we try to own it or possess it, to control it to our expectations, it feels trapped and restless like a caged bird! That is the reason all love in a wordily sense ends in such pain! The more we allow freedom to the one whom we love, the more we grow from within in love, for no one can snatch that which belongs to us, and we can not hold on to anything that does not belong to us!!!
Remember, it is not what other people do to us or give us that should decide our happiness or unhappiness in life. Spirituality is the culture of the soul to flower into that sublime love that knows to give and receive joy beyond expectations. When our heart expands in such love, we truly live our life by our own right!!
Shuddhaanandaa Brahmachari (Kolkata, India): Globally acclaimed motivational teacher (mindfulness meditation, stress reduction) author, peacemaker (Man of Peace Award 2012) Visionary social advocate; founded Lokenath Divine Life Mission, 1985. Serves thousands of poverty-stricken individuals in India. (Lifetime Achievement Award, House of Lords, UK, 2015)