In April of 2004 my daughter thought should join an online dating service. At first I laughed at the suggestion but the more I thought about it the more sense it made. I could list what I liked and what I was looking for in a man. I thought for a long time about this question and made a two sheet list of my expectations, I chuckled as I read aloud my desires. Tall, yes he must be tall, as I am5ft 8in and like to wear heels. A good sense of humor was next on my list, kind, attractive, intelligent, the list continued. What did I  have to lose, if he was out there somewhere I had as much of a chance meeting him here as anywhere.

Well my first few contacts were not at all what they described themselves to be. I met with a couple of them in a public place and was very disappointed. I wrote a poem describing how I was feeling about online dating called "Where Singles Click".

Looking at pictures page after page
Weight, height, don't forget your age
Interests in common do they really matter
The guy on the other end could be as mad as a hatter
Do you give out your email, of course you can
You can just block them if things get out of hand
Will you make plans to meet, that's a scary thought
A fast escape may be needed with the friend that you brought
Let all of your feelings tell you what is right
Then go out and enjoy the rest of the night
Could you be him only time will tell
Or will you make my life a living hell
Back online he is not the one, is this really so much fun
Still looking for Mr. Right, on the web night after night.

Then one day I noticed a profile that captured my attention, I read his profile a couple of times and decided to send him a smile. We wrote back and forth but had decided not to meet as he lived almost two hours away. We did have a lot of fun writing and comparing dates and one stuck with me. He told me about meeting someone that week that had almost pounced on him. She had treated him like prey, mauling him and letting him know with no doubt what she was after. He told me that she had hugged him tightly on meeting and sniffed him all over. She had purred in his ear “you smell good” I laughed as he told me he very quickly excused himself and ran for his car!

Larry seemed to be such a genuine fun loving person, who continued to make me laugh with his stories. I went to his website and sat for hours getting to know more about him and his family. Then one evening whilst in a fit of giggles, and after reading mail from my funny man Larry, I decided that I would really like to meet him in person. We exchanged phone numbers and I sat and waited for him to call. Within two minutes the phone was ringing and I thought I would be cute and answered “Hi Honey how was your day?”  To which he replied “wait a minute I'm supposed to be the comedian" we were both laughing, and that was the start of something very special.

We made plans to meet the following week at a coffee shop half way between our homes.For the first time in a long time I was feeling really excited, I was looking forward to meeting this wonderful sounding man. Something was telling me this is going to be special, and I was going to pay attention to my intuition. I couldn’t explain the sense that we had met before as I knew this was not true, yet there was a feeling of recognition.

As I stood in front of the mirror making sure I looked my best, my heart was pounding with anticipation. I checked my watch one more time and decided I would say goodbye to my girls and head out on my date. I had been driving for about 20 minutes when my cell phone rang. I pulled off the road and answered. It was Larry “I’m lost” he said in a very small voice. I started to laugh and said “if you are serious tell me what signs you see.” As he explained I told him how to get back to the highway. Then he said “this had better be worth it” I chuckled and told him I would see him in about 30 minutes.

I parked so that I could watch the intersection that he would be approaching from. I sat studying the vehicles and occupants as they pulled up to the stop. Finally I saw him. He pulled up on the other side of the parking lot. I grabbed my purse and started to walk across to meet him. Our eyes met as he came towards me, I could see and feel that it had truly upset him to get lost. As he got closer he said “I need a hug” It was then I decided to make him laugh and break the ice. As I hugged him I started to sniff by his ear and I whispered “you smell good” That did it he started to laugh as I had reminded him of his scary date. 

We now sat across from each other and Larry was staring down at his coffee stirring if constantly. We were talking but he did not seem to want to look at me. I found this puzzling until I realized he was in fact very shy! Chatting on line and talking on the phone had been easier for him. This was a quality that I found intriguing and very attractive. The fact that this good looking man actually found it difficult to be around women. This quiet gentle man was so much nicer than the macho men that I had been meeting.

We shared so much about each other that night, but the one thing that really stood out was when I told Larry that I worked as a picture framer and that I was also an artist. He then began to tell me about his late wife who had died of cancer and of the fact that she had decided to pick up canvases and supplies and attempted to paint. She had also applied for a job as a picture framer prior to falling ill.Some people would not see the apparent connection in this but we began to feel that we were being guided to each other. By the end of the evening he was much more relaxed and we enjoyed our time together. We made plans to meet again just a few days later.

That first date was June 17th 2004 and things moved very fast from then on. We were spending as much time together as possible even with the 2hour drive between us. Our conversations started to be filled with the possibilities of moving in together. Larry had met my girls and they had both taken an instant liking to him. Larry had two sons both of which were living at home so this was to be quite an undertaking. Eventually we listed both of our small homes and set about finding a house for all of us to share.

We were married at our new home, exactly one year to the day of our first date, on June 17th 2005. It was a ceremony filled with laughter as our minister had gifted us with an unforgettable marriage ceremony. We were hand fasted as in tying the knot with wonderful playful expressions of humor throughout.The dialogue included honoring the four directions and funny quips during the vows such as “Larry, will you cause Debra pain?” with a reply of “I may”then he would ask is that your intent?” with the reply of “no.” As each question was asked he draped a cord across our hands. His next questions were, will you share laughter, will you burden, will you share your dreams, will you anger? At each of these with the “I may or I might” came a chorus of laughter from all who attended as they could see the teasing looks we were giving each other. At the end of the vows the cords were tied together in a very literal knot, it was an amazing day.

The following video features a song that I wrote about our love, with music from my dear friend Alex Stangl. My husband Larry and I had much fun and laughter creating this video. Larry loves to make people laugh, even his online comedy name creates quite a stir,he is known as The Canadian Studmuffin. I will end this love story with one more coincidence? A friend of mine told me not 4 months before I met Larry, that one day I would meet some young STUDMUFFIN.



*Section from my book that I am writing "Awakening to the Possibilities"  A book filled with personal experience, synchronicities, artwork, poetry and my understanding of all that is. Looking for publisher ;-)

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Comment by Larry Graves on January 28, 2011 at 4:46pm

What a great story. I wonder if it is true?  


Love you, honey!  


Comment by RAk on January 6, 2011 at 10:33pm
I love this so much.. you can't imagine how much Deb, This is beyond magical and beautiful!

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