Love is the key to everything in relationships. We have a rough time understanding the act of love can move mountains in a relationship. We desire to experience love, compassion, and empathy.
There are times we get lost in the anger, resentment, bitterness, and frustration. We may have a closed heart, and close others off. We may feel no one loves us or accepts us for who we are.
We may fall into negative self-talk and believe nothing is working in our lives, or there is nothing we do right. This simply isn’t the truth. We do things right every day in our lives. We fail to give ourselves enough credit for the many things we do in life, and the many lives we touch every day.
When we are hurting, we close off other people who love us. We door slam and drift away into our private world. Life doesn’t always seem fair at times. It becomes difficult to accept life isn’t always what we desire it to be.
Love is something that sets us free. When we open our heart, we are able to allow ourselves out of a self-made prison and feel life again.
Love is recognizing we are all human. We’ve all been wounded many times in our lives. We must find a way to forgive others for their injury. This doesn’t always mean we need to have a relationship with them, or participate in any kind of communication, but it does set us free from carrying around the wound with us everywhere we go.
If the relationship is reconcilable, give each other time and space to heal. Allow the other person and yourself to find balance and harmony. We may want things to end fairly quickly.
Naturally we want to avoid pain and suffering. We may want to avoid conflict. This makes it more difficult when we want to be relieved of the burden, and to have a happy and healthy relationship.
Whether we like it or not, we must admit it takes time for hearts to heal and mend. This may take a few months or over a year. We all cope in different ways, and the wound may be deep.
Love the other person with compassion, empathy, and understanding. Forgive them, and forgive yourself for the part you played. We often want to blame the other person, but forget we have offended them and wounded them in certain ways through our thoughts, actions, and words. Both parties have said and done things to lead up to the current situation. Take responsibility for your part.
Be kind to yourself and them, nurture you’re heart and soul, and let the past be the past. The past is irrelevant at this point in time. Give yourself time to let go of what no longer exists. There are times we must grieve and overcome certain thoughts and feelings. Give the other person time to show through actions not words that they have chosen to correct the situation.
Every day take a step forward in love. When we are optimistic, we see the best in ourselves and others and we make it easier to move forward in life. When we choose to focus on the now moment we are able to focus on creating the relationship we desire every hour.
Remember the emotions and feeling of love. When we’re happy and excited to spend time with other people in life, we rarely have a difficult time expressing ourselves in loving ways. When we remember the good inside of ourselves and others, we will loosen ourselves from being stuck in the past.
When we’re focused on the past it is similar to driving backwards down the street. Because we’re focused on the past and not watching where we’re going, we have a tendency to crash and make things more complicated than they have to be.
We can fail to take the right actions, remain confused, and over think. Keep your eyes forward, be clear and concise about what you desire to happen in relationship. Be solution focused. How can you solve the problems?
How can you readjust what isn’t working. What will work? Often when something breaks down like our auto, we are willing to take it in for repairs. The mechanic problem shoots, and finds the problem. The mechanic will see what needs to be adjusted and replace the part.
In relationships we need to see if it’s the way we’re reacting. Are we reacting out of past trauma and wounds, or being our authentic self and putting our best self forward?
Are you using blaming, negative criticism, naysaying, and fault finding. If you are, practice every day an action of love and forgiveness. We often lack patience, want to be in a hurry, and find ourselves stressed out. Take time see what needs to be changed.
Many times we do the same thing we’ve always done. We repeat the same mistake over and over again. Do something different and the complete opposite of what you’re doing at this moment in time.
Try a different approach. See things from a different angle and perception. Have empathy and stand in the other person shoes and try to see from their side of things.
Speak in love and communicate in a non-violent ways. We often think we need to shout or yell to discuss things. We may feel we won’t be heard. Speak in a calm manner and respond rather than react.
We react out of fear. When we are fear based, we tend to harm others. When we are love based and respond, we can treat others with respect and gain respect in return. Remember love is about “We” more than “I’. We tend to be self-absorbed and closed our hearts. Open your heart and allow the other person back into your life with love and compassion.
Mattie is a Mindfulness, Meditation, and Mental Toughness Coach. She is also an Author of poetry, fiction, and non-fiction. Through her own spiritual journey, Mattie has taken up her passion to become an empathic leader in the community. Mattie is very compassionate and understanding coach. Mattie is a humanitarian and strong advocate for non-violent communication.