Mourning Anniversaries. "Happy anniversary. I love you!"
Days turn to weeks into months and then years. We grow older and smile at the thoughts of you that come and go from time to time. Good memories of the departed can keep us going on with the life you have even as the letters on the tombstone begin to fade.
Lucius Commons. "Emelyn Story Tomb" . Released to the public domain.")
What can be said, in times of loss and mourning, as the anniversaries of loved ones peek over the horizon of the month and begin to daily remind us of those individuals we loved so much in life, before life took them away. As these anniversaries come closer and closer with each flip of the calendars page, we are reminded more and more of who they were and how much they really meant to us. Brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, close friends and relatives, each one is remembered in a different light, which is so much stronger once their light has dimmed and begun to fade.
You find yourself saying, "it was one year ago today that my brother passed away", or "has it really been three years since mom passed on?" It places time into perspective. Time seems to quicken as the list of those who are mourned grows longer and longer with each passing year. It also becomes more painful. Sometimes it is something to be avoided and denied until it overflows on the morning you wake up, look at the clock and like a tidal wave of sorrow it comes.
"You died today"
The rest of that day is spent in so many different ways. You think of the others whom you have not lost to death, or the great beyond, or the afterlife. You wonder when their time will come. And then memories flood your mind, your heart and your soul. You remember the good times, the bad times, the emotional times and the sorrowful times that you spent with the departed. You remember their quirks and laugh out loud, you remember tears and pain, and cry spontaneously through those past burdens you both shared. You dig out pictures and time finally stands still for awhile as you look at the past, frozen, memories fixed, and you are filled with the knowledge that those moments will never happen again. They are gone. Time has gone as well.
You may deal with it by trying to locking yourself away and accepting the loss and pain alone while desperately praying for some comfort to come. Others visit headstones and find themselves talking to cold stone markers as if the beloved departed was sitting down in front of them, eye to eye, for a private conversation of love, loss and emotions. Others find themselves cramming so many distractions in their day that they hope it ends after midnight Greenwich Standard Time. That would be tomorrow and no longer represent the loss of what happened so many years ago today.
The beloved departed are still gone, yet for some there is a comfort, a calm and a peace that enters their soul. It is an acceptance that Love knows no bounds, whether in the heavens or here on this earth, and that the love you both shared, lives eternal. To you, you are the lucky ones. The rest will still mourn, blame, cry, deny or accept. You will find a comfortable embrace in the sorrow, as if they were still holding you and telling you it is ok. You feel the cool breath that whispers in your ear "It will be ok" and with a chill running down your spine, accept that the guardian angel, or perhaps the ghost of their presence will be watching you and smiling until your time comes to follow. You know they will be there, open armed and waiting for you.
After all, this life we live on earth is just a small part of what really exists in this universe. Our human lives are temporary, our souls are eternal, as is love.
So don't hold back your love for them. Let go of the sorrow and loss and know we are not meant to understand why those whom we've loved the most, are the ones whom we have lost. And for those who are still able to have the ones you love the most in your life, living, breathing and celebrating life, love them with all the love you have every day that you have breath.
For life is a gift given to mortals, love is a gift given to all. Love will still be there as a bond and embrace in what lies beyond. Celebrate life as you have loved it and lived it. For one day, you will see unconditional love pull you through and you will be the one embracing those who have lost you and those who loved you the most. It is the other side of the big picture, in times of loss and mourning, let true love heal and fill the gaps pain leaves behind and create something beautiful that we can embrace eternally, no matter what side of the fence of life we are on. Happy anniversary, I love you........
Daniel Beck Mewhinney is a Lupus Survivor, writer, photographer, paranormal investigator, healer, actor and advocate for paranormal awareness, security and education on the web for over ten years. He founded TheDOTPproject.com and is currently a host on www.paranormaldestinations.com
. He, his wife and teams evidence have been featured on over 15 paranormal tv shows, documentaries and pilots over the years. He still helps out one client as a time as he is able. Protecting thousands with his groups messages and PSA's are still ongoing. One soul at a time. Be blessed. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.