One of the biggest irks about going into a store is the fact that if you need a salesperson to help you find something, you can't find the salesperson. It is almost as if they know you want them, so they go and hide. So basically, I am looking for two things...a salesperson, and the item I was looking for.
However, if you are just walking through a store looking around (which I actually enjoy doing) there is a salesperson or floor person right on your tail asking if you need any help. This truly happens 90 per cent of the time. Unlike my other true stories, I am not making this up!
I think today took the cake though. I was at Wal Mart and picked up a couple of Blu Ray videos. I then proceeded to "window shop" without the window, of course. At this particular Wal Mart Super Store (yes, in our little city of Belleville, Ontario Canada we have a Super Store) an older Wal Mart floor person in a wheelchair kindly asked if I needed any help. I said "No thanks, I'm just looking and once you are out of the area I plan on shoplifting a couple of things". I just added that last bit to
add some needed humor to this column... After thanking him for asking, I was back to oogling the
bras and panties.
Anyway, I kept going up and down the aisles enjoying looking at all the cheap crap Wal Mart was selling. I ran into the man in his wheelchair once more. He looked up at me (I guess so he wasn't talking to my crotch...) and said "If you need my help, just ask, OK?" and I very politely said "I will. Thank you" and quickly decided to leave that area of the store before he asked me a third time.
Now I'm starting to think this person is going to show up suddenly in the middle of one of my dreams and ask "Is there anything I can help you with?"
Thanks to the way I was brought up by my very nice Father and Mother, I have turned into a "nice" person. Yet, if I truly had my way, the second time he talked to me in the store I would have bent down, gotten the old geezer in a head lock and whispered in his ear "If you ever ask me if I need any help again while shopping I am going to snap your neck in half and rip the battery out of your wheelchair!!!"
(I guess I should keep thoughts like that to myself...)
More true stories at TRUE HUMOROUS STORIES