I have said it before, I still feel it is true, and I will probably say it again…words are amazing tools. Simply amazing. Words can convey so much and have such different meanings that it is a blessing to be able to use them well; and I, for one, am deeply grateful.
We can see what happens when we do not: misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and great suffering can result from the misuse of words, whether by accident or purposefully. Often, we can feel that words of apology such as, “I’m sorry,” do not feel sufficient.
If there is no amount of sorrow, apology, remorse, or regret that is acceptable, what do we do? When people are in great pain and struggling against what is happening, the advice we often hear is to give up, give in, or surrender it to a higher power.
Most often, when we think of the word “surrender,” we are left with feelings of defeat (give up) or submission (give in to)--as if it is the worst thing in the world to ever want to do. In fact, a review of the definition does reveal a good portion dedicated to the giving up of one’s rights, or possession, or position. Of course, we wonder about the whom to which we are surrendering. There is the idea that if one is losing something, another is gaining something, along the lines of there being a loser and a winner.
While that is one way of looking at it, it is not always the most inclusive view. The idea that there is a winner or loser comes from the ego’s struggle to hold on to a position--any position--in our life. If the ego does not feel “on top of the world” then it will settle for being at the bottom of the pile, as long as it can continue hanging around. This ego-based, either/or dual thinking is what places us in such opposing positions from each other and from that sense of balance that is our Source.
When we relinquish our position or our possession, we move that much closer toward central balance. We no longer hold an extreme side or grasp a physical attachment. We hear of people in great pain and suffering who surrender their troubles and feel remarkably better. Is it just their perception, or is there a definite change that takes place when we no longer harbor our ego’s desire to cling to an extreme? We can see this as the “give over” aspect of surrender, and it brings a kind of grace to those who learn how to flow along with the challenge.
There is another part of surrendering that we can choose as well, which pertains to the “give back” definition. We might describe this aspect of surrender as service or giving back to others, and through them to the Source and to the rest of creation. It is an awesome gift, this giving back or being an active part of the flow of life. We do not hold; we surrender. That can take the form of shared knowledge, helpful action or aid, or sharing of material goods. It can involve a group of people all working in an organized way with a shared vision, or it could mean one lone person acting in an altruistic manner to help others.
When we give back, we create an intentioned movement of cyclical proportions that keeps the world turning, moves us forward, and helps the greater good. No longer feeding our own, selfish motives, we can feel lighter about our selves in many ways. We are not held down or held back by our individual concerns. We are able to shine and be who we are meant to be. We can actively see the many possibilities as we are in motion and participate more with the experience of what life is all about.