Obstacles get in our way of achieving our goals. Out of fear, we may create a mountain in our mind, and become frustrated. Once in a while we may find ourselves in extreme situations where we may be overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. In most stressful situations we focus on the obstacles in front of us and tend to be problem focused.
We are unaware of negative thoughts, negative emotions, and negative feelings and how they impact our life choices and relationships.
Anxiety becomes overpowering, and debilitating for some. Depression and PTSD are known to be related to Anxiety. In many cases each one of us may be exposed to different traumatic experiences. There are one time experiences that can be traumatic for us and others which become long term traumatic experiences. In the middle of the storm, we are unaware of fear pushing us into this negative zone of anxiety.
Fear produces the negative thought, negative emotion, and negative feeling. The emotion of fear pushes us into thinking we’re in a dangerous and unsafe place.
When we think about negative experiences in the past, battle with negative feedback from the outward world, and negative self-talk, the emotion and feeling we experience creates anxiety.
The chest may feel tight, blood pressure may rise, our hands may be sweaty, and the amygdala becomes flooded with adrenaline. Our minds are wired for survival mode.
In many cases even when we’re not in real danger, because there was a traumatic situation in the past, by dwelling on this negative memory, emotion, and feeling, we become frozen in fear. When we are frozen in fear it is hard to make choices and take action.
Every one of us may experience traumatic events at some point in our lives. Trauma can be a onetime experience such as, death of a loved one, natural disasters, losing a job, breaking up, divorce, being abandoned by a family member or spouse, losing a child, a business collapsing, losing a home, or falling up or down into a new social class.
Long term traumatic events can be living in a high crime area, third world country, or being exposed to verbal, emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse over an extended period of time longer than twelve months in certain environments. Substance abuse and Alcoholism can play a significant role in magnifying fears, worry, and anxiety.
In the middle of a traumatic event, it may be challenging to regulate our thoughts, emotions, and feelings. The first thing that comes to mind, is how overwhelming life is. In these moments the feeling of giving up, hopelessness, and depression can set in with no warning. Perhaps the events we’re unexpected.
Some situations leave us without preparation, and force us to be confronted with a million questions of how to get through the obstacles.
Before any action can be taken, negative thoughts, negative emotions, and negative feelings must be regulated. In depression, grief, and PTSD, it is important to give adequate time to heal, adjust, and adapt to the situation.
What ways can we regulate thoughts, emotions, and feelings?
Meditation teaches us to breathe and relax our body. Stopping for a few minutes to breathe, calms us down and keeps us focused on taking one step at a time and overcoming fears.
Visualization teaches us to focus thoughts on specific task. For example hockey players may skate down the ice, maneuver in an out of opponents, and make a choice to tune out the audience. Once they are close enough to the goal they shoot and score.
When we visualize we can see ourselves overcoming the obstacle. In relationships we may see ourselves getting along with a partner, signing up for educational courses and achieving a certificate, filling out job applications, or buying a new car.
At the same time we can remember certain feelings and emotions from the past or another point in time we have succeeded. Visualization has a tendency to help us take appropriate action and move forward through obstacles with ease.
Negative thinking patterns must be unlearned and the memory of reacting to the feeling and emotion. By facing fear head on, we will see fear is an illusion. The more we make an effort to take new actions over and over again and apply new things we learn, we then teach ourselves new ways of coping with fear and anxiety.
Positive affirmations and Mantras help us learn new ways of thinking and push us into new directions.
Negative thoughts can only produce negative results. Changing the negative into the positive forms a new way to navigate our path through life. If we’ve repeatedly thought and done things the same way the majority of our lives we end up with the same results.
Mindfulness is paying attention to certain thought patterns. If we observe and detach from emotional attachments and negative trigger points we can free ourselves from stress and worry.
Negative trigger points can be certain vocabulary words that anchor us into past experiences. The more you expose yourself to these negative words, the more neutral, and immune you become to them.
Other Trigger points can be a love song, movie, poem, and certain places in the community, a book, a person, or anything else which may trigger a negative memory.
Recognize trigger points, observe how the body reacts. Observe thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Take note of the experience.
Journaling life experiences can be an enlightening experience. Writing down things can be a great healing experience. Express every emotion and thought. Every thought is logical and every emotion resonates with a certain feeling. Writing thoughts out empties out the negative mindset, and lightens the load.
For the most part, healing is a journey and doesn’t happen overnight. Rarely are obstacles overcome in a few days or weeks. It may take months or years to overcome certain things, and it’s important to keep a positive mind and focus on what we can do today.
Every step forward counts in achieving goals. One step at a time, one obstacle at a time, take appropriate action to lead a better life.
Once thoughts, emotions, and feelings are in balance, it’s easy to keep good habits, and maintain thoughts, emotions, and feelings.
Over time, obstacles become easier to face and it becomes easier to maneuver through the problems.
Choosing to be solution focused, gives us positive answers. We can choose to make the effort to research alternatives to the problem and find a way to resolve issues. When we learn something new every day, we challenge ourselves to become more than we once believed.
The moments when we feel uncertain about the final outcome, staying in the now is paramount. Right now is where we have the most power to achieve our goals.
If our thoughts drift into the past or future, we tend to get stuck and overthink.
Overthinking can swing us into another area of fear. Fear of success. Once again we can find ourselves filled with anxiety and stress and freeze without taking appropriate action.
Anxiety and fear can take us into two different directions. One in low arousal where we may negative think too much and become depressed, or swing the other way into high arousal where we tend to be perfectionists.
Either way we have to remain in balance, and keep our thoughts, emotions, and feelings in the right place to perform at our best.
Staying in balance is key to keeping us on track and out of the negative zone. While anxiety and fear may creep in time to time, it can be managed. If we practice every day, take action, and discipline the mind, body, and soul. We are able to achieve great things. Every obstacle can be overcome with a bit of hope for a better future.
Mattie is a Mindfulness, Meditation, and Mental Toughness Coach. She is also an Author of poetry, fiction, and non-fiction. Through her own spiritual journey, Mattie has taken up her passion to become an empathic leader in the community. Mattie is very compassionate and understanding coach. Mattie is a humanitarian and strong advocate for non-violent communication.