The Fear of Change is the "God of Stagnation" in disguise. It despises progress, and it demands the sacrifice of our happiness.
It can stop us when we are about to move.
It says it’s for our own good.
Whether we begin or need to end a relationship – the Fear of Change is there, thriving and happy to stop us in our tracks. Oh yes, it will do it, if we only let it. It will give us 100 reasons why we should stay put where we are: no matter whether it’s peaceful or disruptive, or an abusive environment.
It will whisper in our ear, it will gossip about other peoples’ misery and warn us about all possible negative outcomes of our decision, and it will try to “save us”.
The Fear of Change will try to convince us that the “old devil” is better than the “new devil” – since we already know how to deal with it. As long as we let it persist, we won’t be able to find the courage, take the risk and open ourselves up to the opportunities that are coming our way. We might never be able to fully declare our Love to someone, or – in some other scenario – not be able to end an abusive relationship.
Indeed, it is easy to get used to any situation we are in, even if it’s no longer beneficial for us. It is more difficult to welcome change and step into uncertain ground. And it doesn’t matter whether the change is good or bad for us. The Fear of Change knows what it knows, and it wants us to avoid change at any cost.
Steps to Overcoming The Fear of Change:
Step 1: Notice and accept the fact that our life consists of a stream of changes, with or without our consent. No matter what we do, or don’t do, life always brings us changes anyway – and that is actually the ONLY constant thing in life. CHANGE IS A CONSTANT THING IN LIFE.
Step 2: Notice and accept the fact that there is nothing certain about any situation. There are no guarantees of any kind: what seems to be one thing today, tomorrow might be an entirely different thing. Yes, that’s the truth: nothing is ever for sure in life. But it’s actually normal. It’s just life.
Step 3: Realize that the Fear of Change is stopping you from experiencing fully happiness in your relationship.
Look at your own situation: why do you think you have gotten used to the way it is?
Once we know how to survive in any given circumstances – we feel reassured that we know how to function in such an environment. That certainty becomes our “habitual safety”, and so we tend to settle for that safety. One can get used to a storm, and find in it a “habitual safety”.
By default, we tend to re-create the same old experience in brand new situations. No matter whether it is easy or difficult, peaceful or disruptive, loving or an abusive environment. In any new circumstances or surroundings, our mind tends to recreate our experience of the past. Many of us can become stuck in what doesn’t support our well-being. That’s a fact. It is important to remember that our “habitual safety” is only a creation of our mind.
Step 4: Whenever you are together with your beloved, holding their hand or looking into her/his eyes – remind yourself that the purpose of your relationship is to grow together and share Love. Any other expectations have nothing to do with true Love. You don’t have to figure out or prove anything.
Step 5: Get off your “safety cushion” and step into your relationship with courage and trust.
Make a promise to yourself to cherish your Love and let it guide you in your relationship. Trust that process, and trust yourself. After all, you have nothing to lose, except your Fear of Change.
About the author: Johanna Kern is a transformational teacher, filmmaker and multiple award-winning author of “365 (+1) Affirmations to Create A Great Life”, “Secrets of Love for Everyone”, “Master and the Green-Eyed Hope”, etc. She practices and shares the Master Teachings of HOPE, helping people to find their own power and progress in all areas of life. Her story received international attention, winning praise by readers in North America and Europe, and endorsement by three world-renowned experts: Stanley Krippner, Ph.D., Jerry Solfvin, Ph.D., and Brian Van der Horst.