Oh Yeah this is the place to shine. Say all the right words. Sound like I am centered and perfect....ok yeah. I am ..........centered and perfect....oh yeah. Yes Yes I am. Who put these filters of any self reflection being different than Centered and Perfect? it does not matter anymore who and why or this is What Happened... I am is here to do the job of awakening through ALL OF THAT STUFF....maya. Oh me oh maya! So I am not sure where this blog goes but I have no fear in this arena of Light Beings that it will be recieved with love. I really thought that if I stopped abusing myself with sensational substances or events I would be CENTERED AND PERFECT. Come to find out I have been surpressing and look who shows up. This personality that wants to be in control. I think it needs food to live. The food is the self negating thoughts and words. So embarassing to be around so many healers and meditators and feel insecure about some reflection from the past presenting itself again and again in different forms. Just when I think I have built a wall around me , high enough she comes in as a beautiful bird over the top. Will I always be like this? The little thirteen year old that got married. I know what high school is for now. It is where you all learned social interaction. It is where you learned that boys look at girls and it does not mean I am unworthy. What the heck am I doing here? This is the stuff I write whren I think somebody might read it? Oh wow I hope I can erase or delete. I have found that it is not good to admit all this stuff to people you know because they go out of there way to prove you/me right! So to anyone who knows the secret of changing my perspective other than reincarnation, let me know.