By ForeZorba Vikash Kumar;
Do this; don’t do that! Don’t do this! Don’t do that! Behave in this way! Or that!
Almost every person is advising another, for every matter on hand, almost everywhere one goes. Whether in the house, or outside - including at the workplace, or entertainment kiosks, or those institutions, such as schools, colleges and temples, that are built for this purpose alone - the constant bombardment of advice continues. Some try to incorporate the advice given to them, but sometimes fail so completely that they then begin to advise others. This triggers a chain reaction that grips every person instantly, and insanely so. Ultimately it resembles a contagious disease.
A person is supposed to follow traffic rules, guidelines for admission into institutions, and other similar rules, for smooth functioning of day-to-day life. However, an advice should not be followed like a rule. One must learn through his freewill and experimentation. The joy of an experience is broken, if interrupted by someone’s advice. For example, you may be enjoying a beautiful piece of music under the open skies, when your parents advice you to come inside the house, lest you catch a cold; or, ask you to stop wasting your time and focus on getting a better score instead. Nothing would have been lost in those few moments of ecstasy, except the beauty of the experience, crippled by the advice.
It is this kind of unsolicited advice that irks the most. The view of the advisor is based on his personal experience, and may cause a negative outlook. The advice is not as much responsible for creating a perception, than the advisor himself. The relevancy of any suggestion, based on experience, is dependent upon the similarity of circumstance. Often, the ones meting out unsolicited advice are the people who are actually seeking to improve their own lives; they have utterly failed in the areas on which they dole out advice. For example, a person whose children are completely out of control, will often give tips on good parenting; the most selfish and cruel people will talk about philanthropy, religion and compassion; an uneducated person will stress on the importance of higher education, so on and forth.
If a person missed a particular aspect in the phase of life; he can realize of the point of falter if he applies his conscious rational thinking. However, this is not the case for most people and they try to cover their faults instead, turning it into an ego fulfilling exercise. So when a thief extols the virtue of honesty; he cannot be trusted and assimilated, rather a person’s advice will be taken more seriously who went beyond it with his conscious rational thinking. Unsolicited advice is not always bad, depending from whom it is coming. Subtlety of it needs to be understood.
Mind grasp faster than brain, therefore you learn more with your perception and application of rationality comes later. This perception is extremely individualistic thus clubbing of this phenomenon is not possible. Even if one forcefully does it, it can only be copied but not assimilated. If other’s perception in the form of advice is imposed upon you, it will undoubtedly hammer your comfort zone and make you feel uncomfortable. You need swift stamina to keep those advices away till your rational mechanism works on it effectively.
Man usually lives out of whim and fancies though talks endlessly on being practical. And whenever any word or gesture creates a ripple in this sphere, he feels irritated. Therefore, unsolicited advices definitely annoy you however tackling this tactfully can save your energy, as well as it can strengthen your inner being. Reciprocating can never be an answer to it, acceptance is the key. Accept your inner enjoyment along with accepting those words of advice. You need to be cautious not to emotionally involve with words of other person, so that your inner rational mechanism comes in working mode.
Maintaining a positive attitude will also go a long way in handling unwanted advice. One must live life as it comes, relishing each and every moment. Such positivity will help you manage not only unnecessary advice, but also help you take criticism encouragingly. After all, it is your own responsibility to make your life an eternal celebration.
Vikash Kumar is a Mindfulness Coach & SQ Trainer, known as “ForeZorba”, author of Nugget On Wings book. He offers Counseling, Corporate coaching, Meditation & Astro-Numero guidance. He transforms and empowers people with psycho-dynamism, which is more than just advice & talk therapy. A voracious reader & ceaseless thinker, ForeZorba is an ardent writer who writes for magazines worldwide.