Reprinted from The Cat's Reincarnation: Transformative Encounters with Animals
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Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved.
Reprint only with Permission of Dr. Laurie Moore:
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Red-Tail Hawk Day
We fall asleep with the window open. We like to sleep entwined, all three, resting in a shared heartbeat. I felt the spirits beckon me outside. I am as outside as I can be while my body relaxes into the bed with my family. There is a song in the air. The tones of bass, tenor, alto, and soprano are cooperating.
The night becomes my lover, holding me. I am in love, cradled in my entirety. Night wraps me up like a soft lavender blanket as my skin feels nourished. I feel nourished to the core. Mesmerized by the sweet scent held out to me as a gift from the wild ginger, I seep into the night. I am pulled home like a child to a father’s chest, by the love peering through the gleaming eyes of the sky, the stars. Ray’s soothing energy is wrapped into the night too. Jessie Justin Joy’s heart leaps like sparks in the air. I remember that all that matters to me is to follow this divine love. In action and in complete stillness, this love has me fully.
When morning peers through the window, the mountains promise that I am them. “You will be a strong warrior, as strong as we are if you feed yourself well. Take good care of your body. Eat good food. Eat our strength through your gaze.” As I listen, I breathe in the rich greens that cover the hills. Memory slides through consciousness of a time during which I was an Indian boy. I wondered if it was my soul that lived an Indian boy’s life. Perhaps the memory arises from something else. Maybe there is an Indian boy in my ancestral line, recorded in my DNA. Letting the question grow into thought, then fade with breath, I remain in love.
Day begins. I am showered, dressed, now walking up and down the hill. I have been feeling very tired from the output of energy over the last couple of weeks, and the walk is rejuvenating. Feline JJJ doesn't do as many laps as I do, so he chooses to wait at the bottom of the hill after we share three. A grapefruit hangs low from the small tree, catching my eye. I walk over to pick it. “Thank you,” I say to the little bush.
As I thank the tree, this heart is filled with his warmth. The tree emanates “thank you” in return. Sharing this gratitude, I feel complete. Lime green, evergreen, dark green, and pastel green surround me.
The phone rings through the window. I go back inside to answer. Reality shifts. Someone calls about an argument they just had with their spouse. The person’s voice scratches against me. I feel as though the two of us are C# and D on the phone, silently competing. I want her to feel happier while she asks me to feel her pain. I suggest she stop in to receive some support and create some relief in a couple of days Back outside, doing laps up and down the hill, I am complaining to myself: "I need more energy. What happened? The hawks have been gone for almost a week."
Then he flies in front of me. His name is Red-Tail Hawk. He has beautiful wings and big feet. My heart relaxes into the lingering resistance to the C# and D disharmonic where I release into harmony. I watch him go straight in front, next up to the sky, circling to my right. His pink, gray, and red colors carry my heart up into the sky with him. I am on the ground and I am flying at the same time. "Come here, if you would," I request. “Would you teach me how to be stronger?"
At once he tends to me, circling closely above. Loud buzzing sounds begin. The dragonflies arrive. Three of them come to dance by me as I watch the hawk. The sun pats my forehead. I stretch my arms out as I look up. He is now straight above me, still for a moment, with his wings also stretched.
"Thank you, thank you. What does life ask of me?" I query.
"We ask that you be very quiet, content, and listen to us. We are stronger than you can imagine and we have a message for you now. Come back to us."
I look down where I find two little ladybugs making love. The universe is rich with helpers and lovers.
"Please teach me to be a real servant," I say.
"A medicine woman of your type uses holy scriptures and objects to woo others back into their own flight ... back to themselves beyond you ... back to who they are."
"Yes, and I am doing a good job?"
"There's more. Go deeper. When we are missing from your gaze, you must go deeper to call us back in gently. When you don’t see us, go further into your own magic. Then watch how quickly we return.” Red-Tail is now gone, but a vision of him above a lake appears, blaring kindly and alarmingly into my mind. He looks like he is swooping down lower.
"You still give too much of yourself away," he cautions. I hear him though his body is no longer visible. I rub my palm with my other hand, feeling the different muscles all doing their jobs in one hand.
"How do I know what limits and boundaries to set?"
"Be more careful. Spend more time with us and you will learn. It's your turn."
"What can I offer you in return?"
"You can only offer yourself. There is nothing more and nothing less."
"What do I do next?"
"You must sit by a creek and let us come through the back door. It is our time to come to you."
I start making plans to drive out to Felton and visit Fall Creek. I stop in my own tracks, recalling something I had read in a book by Raymon Grace. He said you can connect to the water anywhere, from wherever you are. Instead of getting in the car, going to the gas station, and driving a ways, I send my soul to the creek from where I am.
Now I hear chimes and high-pitched sounds. A cool breeze smiles both at me and in me, causing my heart to relax. I lie on the ground, feeling massaged by the sun, collected in the earth. I replenish.
"You have lost your soul memory. You are only halfway there. You must listen deeper. Listen to the night. Listen to the forest. Listen to the day. Listen to us and not to anyone else. We will help you. We are clear and we are in everything. Hear us."
I cry. "I am here, Mother of life. Here I am and I will run to you.” JJJ runs to me now. “I will listen."
"Have you noticed that every song and dance, everything you do for us has always stayed with you and come back to you? There is no past that isn't here."
"Then soak your face in the creek. Be cared for. Be served.”
I do. In the cooling water, my energy grows stronger. I see an image of an owl when I put my head under.
Bathed and nourished, held and supported, suddenly rejuvenated, I lie in the water. I have spent many occasions in water with my physical body: the creeks, the oceans, the rivers, and the lakes. Now, right from my house without going anywhere, I am fully relieved, cleansed and re-energized. The water has come to me.
“Thank you to the water all over the planet!” I celebrate out loud. “You are the life within us all. I love you forever. You are my hero. Thank you. May you be loved by everyone forever. I send you my love and I find myself home in you.”
I feel Red-Tail Hawk and Owl alive in my being. Flaming strength has been lit in my heart. My feet are alive and wise as they feel the clay-baked earth. Hearing the message Red-Tail Hawk sends to Earth, I am saturated in faith. I sit down in a soft outdoor chair, astounded that I can go from burnt out and lifeless to fully strong in an hour. It is in letting them guide me. It is in letting the hawk and the guides take me that strength comes from my source. There is no more strength in anything I do alone. It must come from the guidance of the wise ones.
JJJ sits under the chair I sit in. We breathe. Contentment blends with a strand of awe. Love tangoes with the laughter streaming through the air. A neighbor turns on a very loud motorcycle, passing us in a blurry gray uproar, down the hill, around, and back up.
We stay close to the ground, held by equanimity’s grace. I send love to the neighbor. He is expressing himself in the way that he chooses. All is intriguing in the contrasts of sounds. There is room for us both in our different modes. I hear the canyon echo back to him.
“RRrr,” says the motorcycle.
"RRrr," says the canyon.
"WOORP!" shouts the motorcycle.
"WOORP!" shouts the canyon. My heart is amazed at how powerful our messages are. What we sing, sings back. JJJ and I are being held in the life mirror. I laugh. He blinks his eyes as a soft smile.
Neighbors approach our shared driveway. I decide to camouflage myself the way JJJ does. I cannot talk and simultaneously maintain this strength of silence.
I lie on my back on the ground between the shrubs and vines. JJJ remains with me. I make myself flat and still.
"Thanks for coming all the way up here," I hear one say to another.
"It's a miracle I didn't barf," his friend replies in response. Why do I have neighbors whose miracles are stuff like this?
I remembered what Gina told me: "Anyone who shows up in your reality is there because you called them there." I chuckle silently.
I am growing stronger. Something is brewing inside me. This feels stronger than anything I have ever known myself to be before. I am feeling the hawk and the owl in my muscles and blood in a most present, awe-inspiring, and enlivening way. I realize that the neighbor and his friend have the hawk and the owl in them also. We share this energy. Red-Tail and Owl are full of us. The sun carries everyone.
When the humans pass, the energy lessens, affirming that being together makes life more powerful. No experience is solely mine alone. I feel more respect. There is something to learn about the judgments that have arisen silently between us over time. There is something better beckoning us. Red-Tail Hawk is calling this forth.
JJJ and I remain in the silence. Suddenly Red-Tail Hawk flies right over me. JJJ is under a chair. I am open to the sky though camouflaged on the sides of my body. Red-Tail Hawk is only a few feet above with a red beak.
JJJ runs. I am taken over by complete feminine love. This hawk must be a female. I sit up quickly to protect JJJ, then notice that he has run from under the chair to the open and is hunting. Is JJJ safe?
Fear thoughts erupting from my belly disrupt the smooth, complete, vast and safe love.
"Will you keep JJJ safe?" I ask both Red-Tail Hawk and life itself.
"There are only thoughts of love and thoughts of fear. Your thoughts choose realities," is the answer that comes back.
Hours pass. The day is getting ready to come to a close. Time to turn into the night. With great grace and smoothness one becomes the other. JJJ sits safely on the deck with the loving sun filtering from his yellow eyes into the world. I slip inside to put a load of towels in the washing machine.
"Go down to the deck behind the house,” I hear Red-Tail Hawk speak, though I do not see him.
Maybe JJJ and I should go for round three of lessons with Red-Tail Hawk I think to myself.
“There is no reason to do that” Red-Tail hears me. “Always follow your instincts. Your instincts tell you to go to the back deck, so there you shall go." I go to the back deck where I lie in a chair. I feel that love is coming from me and love is coming to me. All the love that ever was in the universe is having a reunion with her/himself in me. I am no one but everyone, and this can be happening in all who allow.
"Our work today is complete," Red-Tail Hawk gently offers. "Listen to the message of now." She is gone.
I am enveloped in perfect love. All is complete. The day is right on track, knowing exactly what is supposed to have happened. Everything is in its right time and place. I feel perfect love. My job is done just as it needed to be done. What I yearn for is here now.
A couple of days earlier, a client named Jake came in. He told me that a woman was caustic to him, screaming at him when he has been loving and kind. He confuses himself by still feeling attached to her. I feel he is telling the truth. I sense he has been very kind.
He told me of his land called "Two Grandmothers" because two grandmother spirits live there. They often walk by him, one on each side, at night, with great love. He told me of the hummingbirds who fly around his face with great love and his friends the ravens. His visit to my office was a blessing, informing me that the world is changing.
I told him that it is harder to let go of someone who is mean to us than someone who is just not a good fit. This is because the soul yearns for resolution that is kind. When there is none the personality feels a desire to go back and solve it.
"So close your eyes," I said to the kind man, "and imagine a woman that you will meet in the future. You can feel her now. This woman will love you with great love and kindness like the love and kindness you give. She will love you like the hummingbirds and the grandmothers. From now on, when your mind focuses on the woman who hurt you, immediately shift your mind to the woman who will love you. You will find her this way, first inside yourself and then outside."
I know he can realize this potential. It is how I found Ray. Jake has great love in his heart to surrender to creation’s artistry, the yang and the yin in cooperation.
Suddenly, while lying on the chair on the deck in perfect love, I feel this man and his two grandmothers sending me so much love that I cry. All the years of feeling that my work was not worthy enough fades. I am helping people in real ways. All my complaining that I was tired is now washed away, transformed into light-blue sky which blankets my heart tenderly, fills my eyes with complete nourishment. Many beautiful souls hold me in gratitude in their hearts. Everything is and will always be tended to.
I am about to get up and go inside when I hear a noise. A sparrow lands right in my gaze. "Hello, sweet bird,” I say. He looks at me, preening himself for a while. I realize that my job is not complete.
"Guides of mine and guides of all my clients I ever met, I send this message now. You are held in the arms of the Divine Mother and you are forever loved. All is well in your worlds," I say aloud.
Now I hear the great wail. Reverberating throughout is a deep-seated big sob from the pit of the stomach that lives in
the world. I hold this sob in my arms like a baby, cover him in a blanket, rock her back and forth while I articulate, "You are loved now forevermore. Hear this today. Dial them up. Wake them up. Please, get their attention any way you can,” I ask birds and spirits. “Help them.”
"We are doing all we can. Now it is your humanity that must listen."
I remembered what radio interviewer Marsha Morgan told me on the air. She said that a hawk came to visit and took a bath in her bird bath just a foot away from her and they were immediate friends. I feel appreciation for Marsha. And I think gratefully of Gina teaching her class to people so they can hear animals more clearly. I realize that so many of us are in love with animals and life now that everyone can catch on.
So I listen deep into the love that the birds have woven into the sky and continue.